Wasabi Up My Ass
Ripping, burning, a strong acidic churning,And somewhere deep inside an evil mass
And through this hellish torment it seems I'm finally learning....Not to put wasabi up my ass.
It started off with Mexican, enchiladas, spicy sauce!Going from the mild to the hottest
I felt myself preparing for a heavy, solemn lossAnd proceeded with a shit quite far from modest
But the burning, oh, the wretching! The squeeeze felt rather fetching! And it wasn't long before I wanted more
A fool for the flame and a sucker for the stretching, My eating habits made of me a whore.
Next I tried some Thai and motherfuck, oh my! What a spicy treat for someone's anus
I'd soon have what I cherished, and happily would die... But until it reached my asshole, it was painless!
I lamented the fire, twas BURNING I desire!The stretching didn't show to me my soul
And with such fateful thoughts, a situation dire,I vowed I would plug up my hungry hole.
Wasabi in my sphincter! Wasabi up my ass! Wasabi was a food that had some sass!
And I shoved it deep inside, so it could always hide, And bring to me a newfound peace at last.
Gallons of wasabi, hardening within me, Crumbling from burning anus membranes
Every night a fire, every shit I took, it singed me! And every day, a greeting from new bloodstains.
But then the burning stopped, after lengthy joy.And a sickly smell erupted from behind
'Good fuck!' The doctor told me, 'What suicidal ploy?!? Leave my clinic, you're out your fuckin mind.'
I've been here quite awhile, trying not to cry, Sitting on a stove to no avail
God, I fucking pray that soon I'll finally die! Lament, my friends, this foodie's bitter tale.