These are fragments from conversations that were held in courthouses... These are all real ones, and some of 'em are unbelievably dumb.
LAWYER: What's the result of the investigation of the skin of the vagina?
WITNESS: Traces of sperm.
LAWYER: Male sperm?
WITNESS: Probably.
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LAWYER: Did you go to bed with him in New York?
WITNESS: I refuse to answer this question.
LAWYER: Did you go to bed with him in Chicago?
WITNESS: I refuse to answer this question.
LAWYER: Did you go to bed with him in Miami?
WITNESS: No.
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Q: What's your date of birth?
A: 15th of July
Q: Which year?
A: Every year.
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Q: This disease really damages your memory?
A: Yes.
V: In which way does it damage your memory?
A: I forgot.
Q: You forgot. Can you give an example of what you forgot?
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Q: Can you tell us what your man said when he woke up that morning?
A: He said: "Where am I Cathy?"
Q: So why did you get so angry then?
A: My name is Susan.
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Q: Where did the accident happen?
A: Around kilometer 499.
Q: And where's kilometer 499?
A: Probably between kilometer 498 and 500.
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Q: The youngest son, age 20 years, how old was he?
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Q: Where you there when the photo was taken?
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Q: Was it you or your brother who's been killed during the war?
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Q: Did he kill you?
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Q: You were there until you left, is that correct?
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Q: How many times did you commit suicide?
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Q: She had 3 children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many boys?
A: None.
Q: Where there any girls?
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Q: Doctor, how many autopsies did you do?
A: All of em where done on dead people
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Q: All your answers must be oral. Which school did you go to?
A: Oral.
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Q: Did you remember the time of the autopsy?
A: The autopsy started at 8.30.
Q: And Mr Dennington was already dead at that time?
A: No he was sitting on the edge of the table and was wondering why I was doing an autopsy
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Q: Doctor, did you check his blood pressure before the start of the autopsy?
A: No
Q: Did you check if he was still breathing?
A: No.
Q: Well, is it possible then that the patient was still alive when you started the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure about that doctor?
A: Because his brains were in a jar on my desk.
Q: But couldn't he still be alive then?
A: It's possible that he was still alive at that time and that he was doing the job of a lawyer while he left his brains in a jar
LAWYER: What's the result of the investigation of the skin of the vagina?
WITNESS: Traces of sperm.
LAWYER: Male sperm?
WITNESS: Probably.
______________________________________
LAWYER: Did you go to bed with him in New York?
WITNESS: I refuse to answer this question.
LAWYER: Did you go to bed with him in Chicago?
WITNESS: I refuse to answer this question.
LAWYER: Did you go to bed with him in Miami?
WITNESS: No.
______________________________________
Q: What's your date of birth?
A: 15th of July
Q: Which year?
A: Every year.
______________________________________
Q: This disease really damages your memory?
A: Yes.
V: In which way does it damage your memory?
A: I forgot.
Q: You forgot. Can you give an example of what you forgot?
______________________________________
Q: Can you tell us what your man said when he woke up that morning?
A: He said: "Where am I Cathy?"
Q: So why did you get so angry then?
A: My name is Susan.
______________________________________
Q: Where did the accident happen?
A: Around kilometer 499.
Q: And where's kilometer 499?
A: Probably between kilometer 498 and 500.
______________________________________
Q: The youngest son, age 20 years, how old was he?
______________________________________
Q: Where you there when the photo was taken?
______________________________________
Q: Was it you or your brother who's been killed during the war?
______________________________________
Q: Did he kill you?
______________________________________
Q: You were there until you left, is that correct?
______________________________________
Q: How many times did you commit suicide?
______________________________________
Q: She had 3 children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many boys?
A: None.
Q: Where there any girls?
______________________________________
Q: Doctor, how many autopsies did you do?
A: All of em where done on dead people
______________________________________
Q: All your answers must be oral. Which school did you go to?
A: Oral.
_____________________________________
Q: Did you remember the time of the autopsy?
A: The autopsy started at 8.30.
Q: And Mr Dennington was already dead at that time?
A: No he was sitting on the edge of the table and was wondering why I was doing an autopsy
_____________________________________
Q: Doctor, did you check his blood pressure before the start of the autopsy?
A: No
Q: Did you check if he was still breathing?
A: No.
Q: Well, is it possible then that the patient was still alive when you started the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure about that doctor?
A: Because his brains were in a jar on my desk.
Q: But couldn't he still be alive then?
A: It's possible that he was still alive at that time and that he was doing the job of a lawyer while he left his brains in a jar
