I am not as clued up as many on this forum, but to my mind the guitar tone is good, what it needs is more bass filling in the lower frequencies, and help from the cymbals encasing it. A lot of metal tones are surprisingly middy on their own, then the bass locks in and gives it the bottom end. Snare might not be to everyone's taste but it cuts well and I like it. I'm not certain I love the kick sound, it could do with some filling out because the click of it seems a bit thin coming through against the heavy compression of the guitars and vocals; makes it sound like it doesn't quite belong. I'd bring the crashier splashier cymbals up in the mix if you can because it will strengthen the presence of the kit. Drum machines are hard because you don't want to showcase them too much since they'll never sound like a real person, but that's what I'd do. I know because we've just done our new song Grinding Down The Sun with one. Since I'm reviewing your song and giving it a coupla listens I'd be grateful if you'd do the same with ours, it's in the link!
A lot of your riffs are distinctive, they have a certain twist about them that catches the ear, which is good. Decapitated-ish intro, the half-step drop that's so classic to metal sets your stall out, it's from the slower part of the song that interesting things are happening IMO. that very heavy vocal over the sliding open riff jars a little for me, but it could grow with future listens. I like that a lot of it is instrumental, are you planning to put more vocals on it? It's the kinda song I can see as a template to a style that would run well through a whole album. It's different from a lotta stuff, mainly thanks to the moody atmospherics that run through its middle section, and the ending is suitably berzerk riff-wise (nevermore an influence?) to give a great pay-off to that, so, overall, good job.
