hahahah, funny stuff, ok, my turn now:
Once I was feeling rich and stupid and I went into a record store (after finally having gotten into the earth-shattering Morningrise and thinking all death metal is this cool) and I went to the metal section to take a look-see. I spotted at album that looked particularly cool/evil/deep, Katyklism's 'The Mystical Gate of Reincarnation'. I thought wow, with a name like that it's got to be totally progressive and totally cool (me being a mythical theology/fantasy buff), so I bought it ($30 cdn!) You can't imagine my horror, it's was fucking ridiculous! Unfortuanately I didn't laugh so hard that I got my 30 bucks worth from it. The 'vocals' are just some schlong talking into an effects box, major octaver effect which dropped the key very very very low (and subsequently out of key), so low that at times it just rumbled and didn't sound like a voice or anything for that matter. It was such a pathetic attempt to sound evil. I too tried following along with lyrics but it was just pointless, incoherent gibberish. It wasn't vocals, it was just noise, worse than I ever thought possible.
So I ignored the vocals and tried listening to the guitars, and it was pretty lame from that angle too. The songs really didn't go anywhere and were about as epic as little bow wow or some shit.
So I gave the CD to my nephew who put it on his wall as a decoration. Eventually he used it as a cat toy and had some fun pitching around the back yard like a ninja star, hehe. Then like a year later I was visiting them (my sister) and I had brought my new baby parrot cockatoo along and he spotted the still shiney CD amongst the cat toys and begged for it, so we gave it to him and he totally destroyed it into little bits. Ahh, the satisfaction. The terrible saga had come to an end and a wretched $30 mistake had been righted as the shiney platic bits fell to the floor.
This leads me to wonder, who the hell gives these guys record deals? Can they actually be making money off this garbage? I don't see how this is possible. I realize that there are bands out there that I don't like and they do their own thing and I respect that, but seriously, how this music ever made it to disc and then to a popular record store is quite beyond my comprehension. This, while acts like Soul Forlorn and Thales remain unsigned and countless other top-notch musicians work at mr. greek. I don't get it and I've stopped trying to understand it. Perhaps someone on this board can explain it to me.
root of all evil,
Satori
(thinking about it now)
Check it out if u get the chance.
