Reason #14 why Gemm.com is cool
- Thread starter MadeInNewJersey
- Start date
Dark One
The Tainted Dogma
Krilons Resa
Jerry's married?!
Krilons Resa
Jerry's married?!
yeah, id slap her around with my cock a bit. I don't even like blondes but I;d take a bite out of that ass.
What does a blonde say when she finds out she's pregnant?
"Gee, I hope it's mine."
After a big fight with his blonde wife, a man walks into his bedroom to find her sitting on the bed holding a gun to her own head.
At the sight of this, the man begins laughing.
"What are you laughing about?" she says, "You're next!"
A young woman said to her doctor, "You have to help me, I hurt all over."
"What do you mean?" said the doctor.
The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled, "Ow, that hurts."
Then she touched her left cheek and again yelled, "Ouch! That hurts, too."
Then she touched her right earlobe. "Ow, even THAT hurts."
The doctor asked the woman, "Are you a natural blonde?"
"Why yes," she said.
"I thought so," said the doctor. "You have a sprained finger
Two blondes walk up to a perfume counter.
The first one picks up a sample bottle, sprays it on her wrist, smells it, and says, "That's nice, don't you think, Tracy?"
Tracy says, "Yeah. What's it called, Sharon?"
Sharon says, "Viens a moi."
Tracy says, "Viens a moi? What's that mean?"
The store clerk says, "Viens a moi, ladies, is French for 'Come to me.'"
Sharon takes another sniff and says, "That doesn't smell like come to me. Does it smell like come to you?"
A young man bought his blonde wife a cell phone for their first wedding anniversary.
She was thrilled.
The next day at the mall, her phone rang. "Hi Honey. How do you like your new phone?" he asked.
"I love it," she replied, "But there's just one thing I don't understand."
"What's that, Baby?"
"How in the heck did you know I was at Wallmart?" she asked.
Why don't blondes talk during sex?
They were told never to talk to strangers
Two blondes living in Texas were sitting on a bench talking and one blonde says to the other: "Which do you think is farther away Florida or the moon?" The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida?????
CAR TROUBLE
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. She says, "What's the story?" He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor" She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"
SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"
KNITTING
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled , "PULL OVER!" "NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"
BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, "We were the first in space!" The American said, "We were the first on the moon!" The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!" The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian. To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!"
FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?" "HelOOOooo," answered the blond, "they're watch dogs."
"Gee, I hope it's mine."
After a big fight with his blonde wife, a man walks into his bedroom to find her sitting on the bed holding a gun to her own head.
At the sight of this, the man begins laughing.
"What are you laughing about?" she says, "You're next!"
A young woman said to her doctor, "You have to help me, I hurt all over."
"What do you mean?" said the doctor.
The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled, "Ow, that hurts."
Then she touched her left cheek and again yelled, "Ouch! That hurts, too."
Then she touched her right earlobe. "Ow, even THAT hurts."
The doctor asked the woman, "Are you a natural blonde?"
"Why yes," she said.
"I thought so," said the doctor. "You have a sprained finger
Two blondes walk up to a perfume counter.
The first one picks up a sample bottle, sprays it on her wrist, smells it, and says, "That's nice, don't you think, Tracy?"
Tracy says, "Yeah. What's it called, Sharon?"
Sharon says, "Viens a moi."
Tracy says, "Viens a moi? What's that mean?"
The store clerk says, "Viens a moi, ladies, is French for 'Come to me.'"
Sharon takes another sniff and says, "That doesn't smell like come to me. Does it smell like come to you?"
A young man bought his blonde wife a cell phone for their first wedding anniversary.
She was thrilled.
The next day at the mall, her phone rang. "Hi Honey. How do you like your new phone?" he asked.
"I love it," she replied, "But there's just one thing I don't understand."
"What's that, Baby?"
"How in the heck did you know I was at Wallmart?" she asked.
Why don't blondes talk during sex?
They were told never to talk to strangers
Two blondes living in Texas were sitting on a bench talking and one blonde says to the other: "Which do you think is farther away Florida or the moon?" The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida?????
CAR TROUBLE
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. She says, "What's the story?" He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor" She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"
SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"
KNITTING
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled , "PULL OVER!" "NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"
BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, "We were the first in space!" The American said, "We were the first on the moon!" The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!" The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian. To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!"
FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?" "HelOOOooo," answered the blond, "they're watch dogs."
I would bury my cock so far up her ass you could strap a camera to the tip and I'd check for stomach cancer
Reign in Acai
Of Elephant and Man
Krilons Resa
Jerry's married?!
Krilons Resa
Jerry's married?!
AsModEe
also known as ass-mode
AsModEe
also known as ass-mode
Demonspell
cheating the polygraph
Reign in Acai
Of Elephant and Man
Why the hell do they list oop cd's as available for purchase, then when you click on the cd, it says "out of stock"? 
Claws of Perdition
Wipes sitting down
JayKeeley
Be still, O wand'rer!
NAD
What A Horrible Night To Have A Curse
JayKeeley
Be still, O wand'rer!
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