Revenge of the Big Blue Dong! My Watchmen review

Shadow298

UNLEASH THE GUAN
Sep 4, 2002
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For those who seem a little shocked by the title of these post, it shall all become apparent once you watch the film.

Went to see the long awaited Watchmen film tonight.
Because I didn't want to put it off and be bombarded by all the hype around it.

To be honest, this is a film that I have been both interested in and horrified by.

It's based upon one of my favourite Graphic Novels, Watchmen written by Alan Moore and illustrated by Dave Gibbons (who actually assisted with the film whilst Moore refused because an on going dispute with the publisher DC Comics and the butchering of his previous major works V For Vendetta & The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen) and is one of my favourite pieces of literature because of it's character development, density, imagery and complete deconstruction of the whole Superhero genre by twisting already existing characters such as The Question and The Blue Beetle (all originally owned byCharlton Comics and then brought by DC Comics, being brought into their main continuity).

It is a very dense, layered text which explores morality, humanity, sexuality and sexual psychology, absolutism and politics by blending it with a world where superheros live and breath.

To make the short of it, Watchmen is set in an alternative 1985 (though was written in 1986 and 1987) where Masks (the comics term for superheros) have existed as crime fighters since the 1930's but were normal non-powered people. Though they fell out of popularity because of several scandals and incidents and with the arrival of the real superpowered Doctor Manhattan, the first group of Masks retire or suffer misfortune or death and a new group take their place, only to be made illegal by the Keene's Act, outlawing all masked vigilantes and forcing all but one into retirement.
The story begins with the death of a man named Edward Blake, which sets the events for the paranoid and fairly delusional Mask Vigilant Rorschach to seek out the truth behind the murder and bring all the former Masks out of retirement and out of hiding to confront their own lives and the possible destruction of the World through nuclear war (since the Cold War is raging strong between the Russians and the Americans).

Both the Graphic Novel and the movie have this as premise and, naturally, the movie takes detours and liberties with these things but not greatly. It has a lot to work with, so there is much that had to be trimmed and out and out modified to make sense in the new context .
But here is my one true gripe with the film:
It abandons all Subtlety!
It really dumbs a lot of things down and spells them out for the modern movie audience.
Some things are overplayed or hammered into the audience -such as the use of famous songs on th soundtrack which blare out at times and overwhelm things a little.

True, the original text is very heavy, carrying lots of references, symbolism and written in a way where every time you review it you gain something new.
This is almost all lost.

This is really apparent in Rorschach's origin story, where they stripped the deep twisted conversion of a disturbed man into a fully fledged sociopath driven by a dark scene of justice into something just uselessly brutal.

But, even with that said, Rorschach is one of the things that does make this film good on the merits of being a film (independent of being an adaptation).
Jackie Earle Haley makes the most convincing Rorschach there could have been -even done to his unmasked form. Which is honestly spot on to the comic.
This will surely a boom in Rorschach related stuff, especially cosplay at convension and such.

Visually, the film is amazing.
Playing down a lot of the special effects to make it far more realistic and sensible than say 300.
It is needless bloody and grusome at times though it doesn't really detract, it just lots out of place.
Dr. Manhattan actually looks real and the actor playing him is exceptionally convincing so at times you do forget that you are looking at a man in a special effects costume.

Other bonuses include that fact that the actresses who play both Silk Spectres are really hot (really like the actress who plays the first Silk Spectre), Richard Nixon and his cronies and just the way that got it all to the screen.

Whilst it is a great film as a film, I find it a fair adeptation, lacking in a lot and stripped back in a lot of vital character building as well as changing around a few vital things. I would have honestly preferred it to have been presented as a mini-series more like the comic but they did a decent job for the time and restrictions that had to work with.
If you haven't read the comic, you will probably really enjoy it, if you keep in mind that it is a very mature title.
Though I recommend, again if you haven't read it, to watch it first and than read it so you can better compare.

and beware the big blue dong!
 
You know what gets me about all the talk about the movie now that it's come up... so many people bitched and whined beforehand that Snyder would "pussy out" and basically censor the stuff from the comic... those same people are now the ones complaining about the amount of "blue dong". Seriously I never even really noticed it unless I happened to look STRAIGHT at it... and then my attention just turned straight to the scene itself anyway

Then again... this movie was doomed to suffer from "Star Wars Syndrome" anyway. No matter how good it may or may not have ended up (I personally thought it was brilliant), it would never live up to the hype and the expectations of fanboys.

The biggest complaint is still to do with the ending... my only issue with this wasn't the change in the "method".... it was that it was just too, well, "clean". In the comics with Jon and Laurie return they are basically wading through a sea of dead bodies. In the movie they return to rubble

Rorschach's "scene" at the end of the film was one of the best I've ever seen. They nailed his character better then I think anyone could have imagined. Actually he is the only one who has escaped criticism free so far in all the bitching I've seen
 
+1

I'd comment but I was going to write something similar to you! All I knew was that it was about superheroes and the author refuses to watch any films made of his books.