Rwake - If You Walk Before You Crawl You Crawl Before You Die

[NAD]

Rwake - If You Walk Before You Crawl You Crawl Before You Die (2004)
http://www.rwake.com/
http://www.atalossrecordings.com

1. Dying Spiral Galaxies
2. Forge
3. Imbedded
4. Intro/
5. Sleep and Forget Forever
6. Woodson Lateral
7. If You Walk Before You Crawl
8. You Crawl Before You Die

Ever wanted to tear your eardrums out? Well I haven't either, but Rwake is doing that to me right now, in the most awful way. Aimless fucking noise featuring melodic riffs and the worst hardcore vocals (or not? I don't know or care) I've heard since that terrible Abacus sampler that found its way to my mailbox last month. The elements are here to make something great: interesting samples, some decent riffs and acoustic arrangements, but when it's all thrown together it sounds, well, thrown together.

Utter shite. Avoid.

2/10

 

[J.]

You're American. It's "shit", not "shite". "Shite" sounds like a pussyfied version of "shit".

 

[NAD]

You're right, it is shit.

 

[Nate The Great]

That was a terrible review. Lazy and uninformed. This album has recieved nothing but praise from critics and fans. In fact, this is the first negative review I've seen of this album. I'm a little bit surprised NAD didn't like this album. This review is no different than if a pure power metal fan reviewed Khanate. Complete ignorance of what the band is doing, and I know NAD is smarter than that.

What a disappointment . . .

 

[Krilons Resa]

That was a terrible review. Lazy and uninformed. This album has recieved nothing but praise from critics and fans. In fact, this is the first negative review I've seen of this album. I'm a little bit surprised NAD didn't like this album. This review is no different than if a pure power metal fan reviewed Khanate. Complete ignorance of what the band is doing, and I know NAD is smarter than that.

What a disappointment . . .

I agree 100% C'mon NAD, I know reviews are subjective but WTF?!

 

[NAD]

Sorry dudes, I fucking hate this album. You guys gave it a lot of praise so I really did try to give it a chance but I cannot stand it. Seriously one of the worst albums I've ever heard. Several times per song I literally yelled out "god this SUUUUUCKS!!!" and I very rarely do that. Even when a riff would start to get good, before it had a chance to breathe either a completely out of place guitar solo would fly in from left field or those Awful. Fucking. Vocals. came back and just completely illed me out.

 

[Krilons Resa]

see, i like the vocals and out of the blue swirling solos.

 

[NAD]

Technically I SHOULD like it with all the weird stuff I'm into, but everything sounds so completely out of place.

Anyhow, I figure someone else on staff could review this, maybe BWD might be into it, but I think this album fell into the "it's weird, give it to NAD" category at RC HQ.

 

[Nate The Great]

BWD would probably like it more, because he's not gay.

 

[NAD]

He's the pitcher I'm the catcher.

 

[JayKeeley]

NAD - there are forum posts and then there are album reviews that we owe to labels. I mean, at least use two paragraphs to describe how much you hate it.

 

[NAD]

Can't I just ship it off to BlackWinterDay instead?

*sigh* I'll try to come up with something, but honestly this was the nice version of my review, seriously. I was going to give it a 1/10 but the closing sample made me smile, don't remember what is said though.

 

[NAD]

Oh yeah, before anyone else says it, yes I just got:

I'll even listen to this shitstain TWO more times this week and re-evaluate my position. I'm not backing down, I'm just trying to be open-minded and make The Unquestioned Lord and Master JayKeeley happy at the same time.

 

[Nate The Great]

You're still a fag.

 

[NAD]

I don't think my sexuality has anything to do with this review. Before, during, and afterwards, my gayness knows no bounds.

 

[Nate The Great]

Your dog's a gay homosexual!

 

[JayKeeley]

Can't I just ship it off to BlackWinterDay instead?

*sigh* I'll try to come up with something, but honestly this was the nice version of my review, seriously. I was going to give it a 1/10 but the closing sample made me smile, don't remember what is said though.

Dude - I was kidding!

BWD still has 3 billion outstanding promos to review, including the new Sunn 0))) etc. Don't be sending him nuttin'.

 

[NAD]

I thought you were serious! Either way I already started my in depth review, probably will finish it off anyhow for the sake of good journalism.

 

[JayKeeley]

I thought you were serious! Either way I already started my in depth review, probably will finish it off anyhow for the sake of good journalism.

Well, in reading my post again, it does look a bit serious ( even with the loco smilie ) but honestly, I was just all in a haze because of the baby stuff going on. Obviously if you want to rewrite it then that's up to you, but go with your instinct.

And you can send it on to BWD too of course unless you have a fetish to listen to things you don't like. I don't see why he can't provide a second opinion, just as we did with Goatsblood -- even if we did still get dropped from Willowtip because of the other funny review.

 

[matt99_crew]

I just got this album and like it quite a bit. Early opinion, but promising.