Some of my lyrics

[Dark Dominion]

Alone

I Was Walking In The Shadows
Watching The Darkness Grow
Thinking About The Reasons
The Reasons Why I’m Alone

Alone I Stand
In This World Of Shadows
Alone I Stand
In This World Of Mine
Alone I Stand
With No One By My Side
Alone I Stand
And It Doesn’t Hurt Inside

I Was Afraid Of It All
Lost In A World Of Shadows
My Emotions, So Cold
I Felt So Lost Without You

Alone I Stand
In This World Of Shadows
Alone I Stand
In This World Of Mine
Alone I Stand
With No One By My Side
Alone I Stand
And It Doesn’t Hurt Inside

It Was Like A Bad Dream
The One I Wished I’d Never See
All Of This Was Just A Lie
I Didn’t Know I’ve Been So Blind

Alone I Stand
In This World Of Shadows
Alone I Stand
In This World Of Mine
Alone I Stand
With No One By My Side
Alone I Stand
And It Doesn’t Hurt Inside

This World Is Full Of Shadows
This World Is Full Of Lies
And The Truth That I’ve Been Looking For
Has Disappeared Without A Sound
-------------------------------------------------------------

The feeling

Sometimes I Feel It Deep Inside My Mind
It’s A Feeling From Which I Cannot Hide
I Feel The Blood Flowing In My Veins
And I Know I Will Never Be The Same

I Hear The Sound Of Death, It’s Music To My Ears
I Sense It’ S Closer As The Battle Draws Near
I See The Enemies, They Slaughter Our Allies
And That’s When I Think To Take Them By Surprise

I Hide In The Shadows
I Hide In The Dark
Waiting For A Chance
To Attack

As I’m Waiting For The Night To Fall
I Have That Feeling And I Loose Control
My Eyes Turn Red And Then I Go Insane
And Only Death Can Now Ease My Pain

I Hear The Sound Of Guns, It’s Music To My Ears
That Angry Melody I Haven’t Heard In Years
I Smell Their Blood, It Makes Me Even Stronger
This Dream Will End When They Exist No Longer

This Feeling Deep Inside
Makes Me Want To Kill
Keeps Me Alive
This Feeling Deep Inside
Gives Me All That I Need
It Never Dies

So As I Kill Them I Feel That I’m Alive
Endless Terror, Nowhere Can They Hide
No Way Out, Their End Is Closing In
And All They Speak Of Is “Retreat!!!”

I Watch Them Run Away, Fearing For Their Lives
But In This Place No One Could Listen To Their Cries
I Feel So Happy Since The War I Fought Was Won
And After All This Shit I Can Return Back Home

This Feeling Deep Inside
Makes Me Want To Kill
Keeps Me Alive
This Feeling Deep Inside
Gives Me All I Need
It Never Dies

-------------------------------------------------------------

just a couple of my songs, you can post your opinions on them either good or bad

 

[Dark Dominion]

siren told me about the rulez, sorry rahvin

 

[Siren]

you shouldn't have made the second post, now there won't be any flam3s.

 

[wildfyr]

That was very nice. It seems to be genuine feelings pouring out. I hope there are no flam3s.

 

[rahvin]

I looked at the rules in a desperate effort to prove Siren right but I guess that creativity thread we had is a little too all-encompassing as it is. One thread about someone's personal output is fine. Just don't spam this. Sorry, I mean sp4m th1s.

 

[hyena]

Hey m4st3r r4hv1n, what's the vibe overseas?

 

[rahvin]

Hey m4st3r r4hv1n, what's the vibe overseas?

The weather makes me want to hur... I mean, surf. Yeah, surf. It's actually quite lovely, but I don't have as much free time as I hoped I would.

Back to the lyrics now.

 

[6 Stringed Fingers]

We had a writings thread made by Zack a while ago, shouldn't this be there? It had a much nicer title and it covers not only more than just poems, but also the general forms of writings too. Or maybe that'll be a thread for the proses and this one for the poems?

 

[Siren]

Hey, i didn't mention to him any rules, just the Creativity and the Writings threads. And i threatened him with knives.

But thanks for the effort, rahvin.

 

[Nitronium Blood]

Dark Dominion, Write some lyrics without the word 'I'.

It's too I I I, ME ME ME, MYSELF MYSELF MYSELF.

Not saying it can't be personal. But make the lyrics bigger than your personal issues... disguise the personal issues, with different ways of referring to whatever it is you want to say.

Eg: "Alone I stand" could be "Forces remnant and pure render one against the others"

 

[rahvin]

@6 Stringed: yeah, it ought to be there. But we can leave one thread open if it's by someone saying "Look, I made this!", just so we don't discourage other users to post their stuff because they're not exactly sure about where it goes or it will ever be read at the bottom of a 6+ page thread.

 

[FearTheReaper]

alone kicks ass and it totally fits my mood right now. I write lyrics as well and for a little advice,try not to use the sames words as much.Instead of Shadows use like Gloom & Darkening. I really like your shit though dude,keep it up . The use Of Metaphor & personiffication is reallynot used enough now a days

 

[Magrathean]

I read The feeling. The theme is ok, but what i really like is that the rhyme doesn't seem forced (which is a really hard thing to do), except in two cases:

I Feel The Blood Flowing In My Veins
And I Know I Will Never Be The Same
and
I See The Enemies, They Slaughter Our Allies
And That’s When I Think To Take Them By Surprise

The rhyme is mostly good, but it doesn't really rhyme at all in

No Way Out, Their End Is Closing In
And All They Speak Of Is “Retreat!!!”

Other than that, love the rhyme.

 

[Fevermist]

The overall idea in them is pretty good,
but somehow when I read them I get a picture in my head
and it's a picture of cheese

Somehow they sound in my ear too much of
"now I do this, then I do that, and then I do this, and then I feel this"
if you know what I mean.

In overall they are ok in my books, but they could easily be written better within their story.

 

[Seditious]

Dark Dominion, Write some lyrics without the word 'I'.

It's too I I I, ME ME ME, MYSELF MYSELF MYSELF.

Not saying it can't be personal. But make the lyrics bigger than your personal issues... disguise the personal issues, with different ways of referring to whatever it is you want to say.

I'd have to agree there at how they came off. They seemed very adolescent to me, definitely not the sort of thing you'd expect to find in a European band at least (I say that because they were after all posted on the forum of a great Melodic-Death Metal band), but American Metalcore might suit that kind of thing if that's what you enjoy writing, I wouldn't suggest you try to write something that you're not inspired to write or it will probably be blatently cliche or weak, just find the right niche for what you do.