>>SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE!
>>
>>
>>What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
>>
>>Juan on Juan
>>
>>
>>What is a Yankee?
>>
>>The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
>>
>>What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
>>
>>The position of the dirt bag
>>
>>Why is divorce so expensive?
>>
>>Because it's worth it.
>>
>>What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
>>
>>Doughnuts
>>
>>Why is air a lot like sex?
>>
>>Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.
>>
>>What do you call a smart blonde?
>>
>>A golden retriever.
>>
>>What do attorneys use for birth control?
>>
>>Their personalities.
>>
>>
>>What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
>>
>>About 45 pounds.
>>
>>
>>
>>What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
>>
>>45 minutes
>>
>>What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
>>
>>Through his chest with a sharp knife.
>>
>>
>>Why do men want to marry virgins?
>>
>>They can't stand criticism.
>>
>>Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring,
>>and good-looking?
>>
>>Because those men already have boyfriends.
>>
>>
>>What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
>>
>>After a year, the dog is still excited to see you
>>
>>What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
>>
>>The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of
>>driving.
>>
>>
>>Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
>>
>>Because they have cotton balls.
>>
>>What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
>>
>>A porcupine has the pricks on the outside
>>
>>What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
>>
>>"Are you sure it's mine?"
>>
>>Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
>>
>>Mace will do that to you.
>>
>>Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia ?
>>
>>Everyone has the same DNA.
>>
>>Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
>>
>>Breasts don't have eyes.
>>
>>Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only
>>on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
>>
>>Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
>>
>>Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
>>
>>A different bar.
>>
>>Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a blond baby?
>>
>>They named him "Sum Ting Wong".
>>
>>What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the
>>other?
>>
>>A speech impediment.
>>
>>What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at
>>half-mast?
>>
>>They're hiring.
>>
>>What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
>>
>>A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the
>>cage along with... "a recipe".
>>
>>How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
>>
>>Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
>>
>>
>>
>>What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern
>>fairytale?
>>
>>A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time .." -A southern
>>fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this s**t....
>>
>>
>>
>>Why is there no Disneyland in China?
>>
>>No one's tall enough to go on the good rides
>>
>>
>>What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
>>
>>Juan on Juan
>>
>>
>>What is a Yankee?
>>
>>The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
>>
>>What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
>>
>>The position of the dirt bag
>>
>>Why is divorce so expensive?
>>
>>Because it's worth it.
>>
>>What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
>>
>>Doughnuts
>>
>>Why is air a lot like sex?
>>
>>Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.
>>
>>What do you call a smart blonde?
>>
>>A golden retriever.
>>
>>What do attorneys use for birth control?
>>
>>Their personalities.
>>
>>
>>What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
>>
>>About 45 pounds.
>>
>>
>>
>>What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
>>
>>45 minutes
>>
>>What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
>>
>>Through his chest with a sharp knife.
>>
>>
>>Why do men want to marry virgins?
>>
>>They can't stand criticism.
>>
>>Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring,
>>and good-looking?
>>
>>Because those men already have boyfriends.
>>
>>
>>What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
>>
>>After a year, the dog is still excited to see you
>>
>>What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
>>
>>The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of
>>driving.
>>
>>
>>Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
>>
>>Because they have cotton balls.
>>
>>What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
>>
>>A porcupine has the pricks on the outside
>>
>>What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
>>
>>"Are you sure it's mine?"
>>
>>Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
>>
>>Mace will do that to you.
>>
>>Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia ?
>>
>>Everyone has the same DNA.
>>
>>Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
>>
>>Breasts don't have eyes.
>>
>>Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only
>>on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
>>
>>Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
>>
>>Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
>>
>>A different bar.
>>
>>Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a blond baby?
>>
>>They named him "Sum Ting Wong".
>>
>>What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the
>>other?
>>
>>A speech impediment.
>>
>>What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at
>>half-mast?
>>
>>They're hiring.
>>
>>What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
>>
>>A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the
>>cage along with... "a recipe".
>>
>>How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
>>
>>Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
>>
>>
>>
>>What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern
>>fairytale?
>>
>>A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time .." -A southern
>>fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this s**t....
>>
>>
>>
>>Why is there no Disneyland in China?
>>
>>No one's tall enough to go on the good rides
.
