Sony leaks new product

Harp Heaven

Culture Vulture
Jun 14, 2002
489
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Sony Leaks New Product

10.07.2003

At the annual ESPE convention in Korea this week, Sony revealed their newest product, an attempt to cater to the ever-growing audience of metal-fans. The Doomblaster, the first offering in a new line of specialized Mp3/CD players, which are to be published during the course of 2003/2004 was presented to a storm of press-interest at the first day of the convention. Sonys spokes-woman, Keiko Atare, commented that "we here at Sony feel that normal Boomblasters do not lend themselves readily to the sound of metal, the aggression and the power inherent in that genre". Keiko, dressed in a black tank-top covered with fishnet, proceeded to A/B a normal Boomblaster and a Doomblaster with a song by American death-metallers Slipknot. Several journalists agreed that the difference in sound was astounding. This, Keiko explained, is due to the total elimination of low-end produced by the player; Instead of the normal high - mid - low EQ, the equalizer consists of 3 sliders, one for 8000 Hz, another for 10 000 Hz and the last for 16 000 Hz.

Sturdily built in aluminium and plastic, the Doomblaster also includes several large patches of thick plastic, so users can carve symbols of their own liking. To rejoicing cries from the press, Atare used a Swiss Army Knife to carve a pentagram in the Doomblaster followed by a defiant roar towards the audience of astounded journalists.

Originally intended to promote the product was Christian "Varg" Vikernes, the famous Norwegian arson and satanist, but he withdrew after realizing that Sony was Japanese. Vikernes has to this date refused to give an answer to why this was a problem, Atare said solemnly in a moment of calm in the otherwise fast-paced and stylish presentation. Replacing Vikernes are Swedish brutal death metallers In Flames, who were also present at the convention. Vocalist Anders Fridèn explained their association with the project: "we feel that the Doomblaster is the answer to the cries of thousands of fans, our fans, and the fans of many other bands. Now they can really feel the sonic rage of metal", whereupon Fridèn made a Devils Horn sign with his hand and walked off the stage. The commercial, due to be aired this September, features In Flames playing one of the hardest songs off their new album, "Trigger", followed by the band chanting "Doomblaster, it`s the heavy metal solution" in unison, overdubbed in Japanese.

The Doomblaster is in the stores this September.
 
Of course it's a joke. A product like that wouldn't sell enough even amongst the nu-metal crowd. The marketing required alone would damage Sony's popular commercial image.

Slipknot - death metallers?

In Flames - BRUTAL daeth metallers??


Sounds too deliberately ignorant and contrived to be true. =)
 
SculptedCold said:
Of course it's a joke. A product like that wouldn't sell enough even amongst the nu-metal crowd. The marketing required alone would damage Sony's popular commercial image.

Slipknot - death metallers?

In Flames - BRUTAL daeth metallers??


Sounds too deliberately ignorant and contrived to be true. =)

well i have absolutely no idea what a boomblaster is, let alone a doomblaster, so this whole thing is kind of over my head to be honest...
 
I sure do hope its a joke. My SONY headphones do my music justice, thank you very much. And In Flames were there, why not an In Flames, track, instead of a Slipknot track?

Ha..ha...hurm. :s
 
Slipknot?! Death Metal????!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA*gasp*HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Well, that's a new one on me...Slipknot=Death Metal *snort*....
 
SculptedCold said:
Of course it's a joke. A product like that wouldn't sell enough even amongst the nu-metal crowd. The marketing required alone would damage Sony's popular commercial image.

Slipknot - death metallers?

In Flames - BRUTAL daeth metallers??


Sounds too deliberately ignorant and contrived to be true. =)

i think we know why varg didnt show :tickled:
 
Harp Heaven said:
Sony Leaks New Product

10.07.2003

At the annual ESPE convention in Korea this week, Sony revealed their newest product, an attempt to cater to the ever-growing audience of metal-fans. The Doomblaster, the first offering in a new line of specialized Mp3/CD players, which are to be published during the course of 2003/2004 was presented to a storm of press-interest at the first day of the convention........

Don't pull shit like this man... you had me going... for all of abour, 5 seconds. :bah:

Spike :cry: