stop me if ya heard this one

[prime666]

An American is having breakfast, in Paris, one morning (coffee, croissants, bread, butter and jam) when a Frenchman, chewing bubble-gum, sits down next to him. The American ignores the Frenchman who, nevertheless, starts a conversation.

Frenchman: "You American folk eat the whole bread??"

American (in a bad mood): "Of course."

Frenchman: (after blowing a huge bubble) "We don't. In France, we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle it, transform them into croissants and sell them to the states." The Frenchman has a smirk on his face.

The American listens in silence.

The Frenchman persists: "Do you eat jelly with the bread??"

American: "Of Course."

Frenchman: (cracking his bubble-gum between his teeth and chuckling).

"We don't. In France we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds, and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam, and sell the jam to the states."

After a moment of silence, The American then asks: "Do you have sex in France?"

Frenchman: "Why of course we do", he says with a big smirk.

American: "And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?"

Frenchman: "We throw them away, of course."

American: "We don't. In America, we put them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into bubble-gum, and sell them to France."

 

[schenkadere]

oooo...someone should have stopped you!

 

[T_man357]

Hilarious Prime!!!

 

[johnnieCzech]

I know a bit similar one.

 

[ZeeZooZum]

too long:Smug: :Smug:

 

[Salvatore]

This farmer has 500 hens but no rooster so he goes to his neighbor and asks him if he could buy a rooster for $100.

The neighbor says, "You can have this rooster. His name's Roy. He'll get all your hens pregnant. He's a real stud."

So the farmer takes him home and says, "It's your first day so take it slow, okay?"

The farmer puts Roy in the hen house and then hears all the hens crying and yelling. Roy nailed every one of those hens and then nailed a duck and a goose at a pond.

The next morning the farmer finds Roy lying dead with his legs sticking in the air and buzzards circling overhead.

The farmer says, "Roy, did you have to die?"

Roy says, "Quiet! They're about to land

 

[schenkadere]

Not bad.

A guy walks into the psychiatrist's office wearing nothing but cellophane underwear...the doctor says "Cearly, I can see your nuts."

 

[Saucy_Jack]

This joke must be funny because I hear it on Comedy Central at least 100 times a day:


White people ( insert whatever u want) like this.....

But Black People (insert same) like this....

HA HA HA Frickin HA


I swear if I was a black dude and my life was down the shitter I would just become a rapper or do stand up. Even if you have as much talent as a soggy turd you can be pretty successful at both if you're black.

 

[gaschamber]

I swear if I was a black dude and my life was down the shitter I would just become a rapper or do stand up. Even if you have as much talent as a soggy turd you can be pretty successful at both if you're black.

just milk the race tit and you'll career will soar.

 

[efkarpos]

a guy goes to the doctor
-Dr. help me i cant fuck!!!!
-ok bro take 2 viagras
next day
-Dr. i still cant fuck!!!!
-take 8 viagras
next day
-Dr. i cant fuck god damn!!!!
so the dr. called a sexy fuckable nurse and asked the guy to give a try
the guy tears the whole place down fucking the nurse 10 times in a row
Dr.- hey man you are cured
Guy- Hey Dr. if i find pussy i can fuck pretty good!!!!!

 

[Mxgonzo]

Here is one I just heard

Sitting together on a train, traveling through the Swiss Alps, are a French guy, an American guy, an old Greek lady, and a young blonde Swiss girl.
The train goes into a dark tunnel and a few seconds later there is the sound of a loud slap.
When the train emerges from the tunnel, the Frenchman has a
bright red hand print on his cheek. No one speaks.
The old lady thinks: The Frenchman must have groped the blonde in the dark, and she slapped his cheek.
The blonde thinks: That Frenchman must have tried to grope me
in the dark, but missed and fondled the old lady and she
slapped his cheek.
The Frenchman thinks: The American must have groped the blonde in the dark. She tried to slap him but missed and got me instead.
The American thinks: I can't wait for another tunnel, so I can smack that Frenchman again.

 

[MyHatred]

You can never go wrong with a Dice joke



Whats the difference between a oral and rectal thermometer????









THE TASTE!!! Bingo

 

[Hawng]

A farmer ordered a high-tech milking machine. Since the equipment arrived
when his wife was out of town, he decided to test it on himself first.

So, he inserted his "manhood" into the equipment, turned on the switch and
everything else was automatic.

Soon, he realized that the equipment provided him with much more pleasure
than his wife did. When the fun was over, though, he quickly realized that
he couldn't remove the instrument from his 'member'.

He read the manual but didn't find any useful information on how to
disengage himself. He tried every button on the instrument, but still
without success.

Finally, he decided to call the supplier's Customer Service Hot Line with
his cell phone (Thank god for cell phones!).

"Hello, I just bought a milking machine from your company. It works
fantastic,
but how do I remove it from the cow's udder?"

"Don't worry," replied the customer service rep, "The machine will release
automatically once it's collected two gallons