One day a boy named Chris and his faithful dog Kay were walking along the beach when then stumbled upon a seagul head sticking out of the ground. It looked as though it had been dead for a few days, but it started to speak to them. "You must save my soul by rescuing the item that I swore my love to."
Chris was very confused. "What item did you swear your love to and why did you do so?" he asked
"I was so seduced by her beauty that I couldn't resist."
"Okay...What was she?"
"A microwave bacon tray."
Chris looked at the undead seagul head like it was crazy. "A microwave bacon tray??!"
"Please save her, I need to be free. I cannot die until I know she is safe."
"Fine, I'll do it. Where will I find this microwave bacon tray and how do I save it?"
"Get the list that is buried under that big log. Go to those different places, in order, to get the different things needed to rescue my true love."
Chris and Kay went over to the log and found the list. The first thing on the list was to get a Spanish/English dictionary with the name "Harrigon" written in green ink on the front cover. He would find it at the castle in the enchanted forest of Oberonath.
They went to the castle, and swam through the moat and were so quiet that the guards did not notice them. They spent hours and hours searching through the libraries, until eventually they found the Spanish/English dictionary with the name "Harrigon" in green written on it.
The next quest on the list was to set a giant scorpion on fire without getting stung, for it's sting would make you feel great pain. Chris and Kay thought for a while, then decided on a plan. Kay would hold a big stick against the scorpion so it was stuck to the wall. When he did that, Chris took out a bow and arrow and set the arrow on fire. He shot it at the scorpion. It screamed in pain, and then was transformed into a little girl. She gave Chris a hockey stick, telling him he would need it. He took it, thanked her, and left, wondering what the hockey stick could possibly be used for.
The next thing on the list was to go to a Hot Topic and stay there all day. At night, the workers would turn into vampires, and the list said Chris would need vampire feet. If he went early, he could hide in a pile of shirts and never be noticed.
So Chris and Kay hid in the back until closing hours, when the employees transformed into bats. Chris hit one with a Emily Strange book, and it fell to the ground. He pulled of its wings and ran away.
The very last task was the kill the evil gay Canadian gym teacher named Mr Minshull. Mr Minshull had possession of the microwave bacon tray to microwave his gay Canadian bacon. He also deserved to die because he sued his old students for telling the truth because he was really desperate for money.
Chris thought about how to kill Mr Minshull. He thought about the hockey stick. Of course! Minshull was a Canadian! He met him and challenged him to a hockey match for the microwave bacon tray. Minshull said yes, because Canadians are always good at hockey. But in the middle of the match, Chris threw the bat wings at him. When he was distracted, Chris shoved the Spanish/English dictionary with "Harrigon" in green written on the inside cover down his throat, and he choked to death on it.
He took the microwave bacon tray back to the undead seagul. "Thank you," he said. "I will say goodbye to her one last time and then I can be at peace."
"Do I get anything?" Chris asked?
"You know Spanish now," said the seagul.
"Ci," Chris agreed. "Hasta luego."
"Gracias. Adios."
"De nada."
As Chris and Kay left, they heard the sounds of passionate undead seagul/microwave bacon tray sex.
THE END
Chris was very confused. "What item did you swear your love to and why did you do so?" he asked
"I was so seduced by her beauty that I couldn't resist."
"Okay...What was she?"
"A microwave bacon tray."
Chris looked at the undead seagul head like it was crazy. "A microwave bacon tray??!"
"Please save her, I need to be free. I cannot die until I know she is safe."
"Fine, I'll do it. Where will I find this microwave bacon tray and how do I save it?"
"Get the list that is buried under that big log. Go to those different places, in order, to get the different things needed to rescue my true love."
Chris and Kay went over to the log and found the list. The first thing on the list was to get a Spanish/English dictionary with the name "Harrigon" written in green ink on the front cover. He would find it at the castle in the enchanted forest of Oberonath.
They went to the castle, and swam through the moat and were so quiet that the guards did not notice them. They spent hours and hours searching through the libraries, until eventually they found the Spanish/English dictionary with the name "Harrigon" in green written on it.
The next quest on the list was to set a giant scorpion on fire without getting stung, for it's sting would make you feel great pain. Chris and Kay thought for a while, then decided on a plan. Kay would hold a big stick against the scorpion so it was stuck to the wall. When he did that, Chris took out a bow and arrow and set the arrow on fire. He shot it at the scorpion. It screamed in pain, and then was transformed into a little girl. She gave Chris a hockey stick, telling him he would need it. He took it, thanked her, and left, wondering what the hockey stick could possibly be used for.
The next thing on the list was to go to a Hot Topic and stay there all day. At night, the workers would turn into vampires, and the list said Chris would need vampire feet. If he went early, he could hide in a pile of shirts and never be noticed.
So Chris and Kay hid in the back until closing hours, when the employees transformed into bats. Chris hit one with a Emily Strange book, and it fell to the ground. He pulled of its wings and ran away.
The very last task was the kill the evil gay Canadian gym teacher named Mr Minshull. Mr Minshull had possession of the microwave bacon tray to microwave his gay Canadian bacon. He also deserved to die because he sued his old students for telling the truth because he was really desperate for money.
Chris thought about how to kill Mr Minshull. He thought about the hockey stick. Of course! Minshull was a Canadian! He met him and challenged him to a hockey match for the microwave bacon tray. Minshull said yes, because Canadians are always good at hockey. But in the middle of the match, Chris threw the bat wings at him. When he was distracted, Chris shoved the Spanish/English dictionary with "Harrigon" in green written on the inside cover down his throat, and he choked to death on it.
He took the microwave bacon tray back to the undead seagul. "Thank you," he said. "I will say goodbye to her one last time and then I can be at peace."
"Do I get anything?" Chris asked?
"You know Spanish now," said the seagul.
"Ci," Chris agreed. "Hasta luego."
"Gracias. Adios."
"De nada."
As Chris and Kay left, they heard the sounds of passionate undead seagul/microwave bacon tray sex.
THE END
