Stuff that makes me a sad panda: Radio hit lyrics

[Jarkko Mattheiszen]

Ok, I'm not a poetic genius myself - in fact my lyrics are terrible - but I'm forced to listen to a pop radio station 8 hours a day at work, and I've recently noticed that the thing that really gets on my nerves with MTV pop is the lyrics. Here's my TOP-3 of current radio hit phrases that make me want to murder someone:

1. Akon - Right now
Wish we never broke up right na na na
I can't even put my amusement to words with this one. In addition to being one of the most irritating auto-tune choruses ever, the lyrics imply that you can use "na na na" in place of any single word if you run out of ideas with... well... any human language.

2. John Legend - Green light
Admit it! You did it! Let's hop a cab, and split it! I'm kiddin'! We both goin' to where you livin'! Ha! I got you gigglin' like a piglet! Oh, that's the ticket!
Wait, WHAT? Oh dear fucking God, if you feel the urge to make music, then could you please write something else than random, funny sounding words that pop into your mind? I really wish there would have been someone to punch this person in the groin when he first thought to himself that "IMA GONNA MAKE SUM LURICS DAT CANT BE HARD CANS IT?!"

3. Britney Spears - Womanizer
Womanizer, woman-womanizer / You're a womanizer / Oh, womanizer / Oh you're a womanizer, baby
God damn it, woman, too much crack, not enough thinking. I mean, sure, I'd still nail Britney if I ever got the chance, but if this is all she's got to say, I would probably strangle myself with my bare hands if I had to stay for the after-sex smalltalk.

Phew. I feel a lot better now.

 

[Metaltastic]

Hahahahahahaahahahahaha, I've had those jobs where I have to endure that crap for hours on end as well, so I feel your pain man - I think the two worst for me were "You had a bad day" (GOD THAT FUCKING SONG, the lyrics are so blatantly obvious, there's no subtlety or anything, it's like a narrative of some dead-end drone's life) and "Black horse and a cherry tree" (not really the lyrics, but just the neverending "Woo-ooo" that always repeats, sung with that bitch's pretentious coffee-house singer accent) I take it this is in your construction gig that you hear these, dude? When my parents were getting their house added on, the contractor would always have his radio on the pop station, and now every time that "I'm sorry I can't be perfect" song comes on, my Dad (who was working at home at the time) gets PTSD

 

[abyssofdreams]

Hahahaha, I hear ya! I'm doing workout couple of times a week and at the studios there's random radio crap running all the time, worst part is that they play each song at least 2-3 times a day so you always get the same stuff and I occasionally forget to bring my mp3 player... not THAT can make someone aggressive.

 

[_Brutalism_]

Hahahaha, I hear ya! I'm doing workout couple of times a week and at the studios there's random radio crap running all the time, worst part is that they play each song at least 2-3 times a day so you always get the same stuff and I occasionally forget to bring my mp3 player... not THAT can make someone aggressive.

I hear ya brother. Sometimes I just want to hijack the reception, beat her senseless and chuck that radio out the fucking window.

 

[James-Doolan]

I hear ya brother. Sometimes I just want to hijack the reception, beat her senseless and chuck that radio out the fucking window.

Ha ha but you have to remember most people like whats on the radio and most peoples idea of aural torture would be to listen to some of the stuff we listen to.

So if your in public places often you just have to learn to live with it. Im lucky this kind of thing does not bother me at all il rock whatevers on despised icon, Btbam, The facleless, abba whatevers

 

[Jarkko Mattheiszen]

I take it this is in your construction gig that you hear these, dude? When my parents were getting their house added on, the contractor would always have his radio on the pop station, and now every time that "I'm sorry I can't be perfect" song comes on, my Dad (who was working at home at the time) gets PTSD

Yeah, it seems to be a construction site curse. A while back we had this middle-aged, freaking humongous dude working for us when we were building a summer cottage. He was inside the cottage and I was outside having a smoke, and suddenly I heard a loud "PER-KE-LEEEEEEE" (which is a Finnish curse) from inside, saw something black flying out of the window and landing with a nasty crash on the beach rocks. The dude had snapped after the same annoying song came on for the fifth time that day and threw the radio out the window

He was a rather amusing guy, whenever something bad happened you could almost swear he'd go amok any moment, destroying everything in his path like hippo on steroids.

 

[_Brutalism_]

Ha ha but you have to remember most people like whats on the radio and most peoples idea of aural torture would be to listen to some of the stuff we listen to.

So if your in public places often you just have to learn to live with it. Im lucky this kind of thing does not bother me at all il rock whatevers on despised icon, Btbam, The facleless, abba whatevers

I totally agree man, however, you have to be a complete fucking idiot to think that pumping Britney at the gym is going to make ANYONE, even a Britney fan, pump iron harder or run faster on the mill. That is why I get so frustrated when people who have NO IDEA about music cannot even comprehend what goes with what, but just suit their own taste because they have authority over the device chugging the tunes.

I still don't expect them to play metal, since it is an extreme form of music, as I wouldn't expect an art museum which allows folk of any age to visit to display horrific paintings of death and destruction.

Also, IF IT WAS MY GYM or whatever kind of public resort I had, I wouldn't be blasting the music I loved if it isn't appropriate because that is selfish. So my question is, why not blend a mixture of music that actually fit to the scene where everyone can be happy (to a certain extent of course)?

 

[Metaltastic]

Hahaha, yeah, at least at the gym at my school, it's always nu-metal pump-up hits of the 90s, like "Let the Bodies hit the flo'" and various Disturbed stuff - it beats pop radio, anyway!

 

[Metaltastic]

Yeah, it seems to be a construction site curse. A while back we had this middle-aged, freaking humongous dude working for us when we were building a summer cottage. He was inside the cottage and I was outside having a smoke, and suddenly I heard a loud "PER-KE-LEEEEEEE" (which is a Finnish curse) from inside, saw something black flying out of the window and landing with a nasty crash on the beach rocks. The dude had snapped after the same annoying song came on for the fifth time that day and threw the radio out the window

He was a rather amusing guy, whenever something bad happened you could almost swear he'd go amok any moment, destroying everything in his path like hippo on steroids.

HAHAHAHAhahahaaha, at least some people can get pissed - I never understood how so many big manly construction workers could tolerate such teeny bopper garbage (though they're probably all so absorbed in how much they hate their lives that ANYTHING will help break the mood )

 

[slashvanyoung]

Working as a radio host, I'm sometimes getting slammed with that kind of "music" for ten hours straight.

This used to bug me in the beginning, but nowadays it doesn't really bother me anymore. I hear it constantly, but I don't listen anymore... Works rather well actually.

I usually listen with more attention, when there's nothing to hear... haha

But I must admit that we're having basically no hip-hop at all and usually only higher-quality pop music (very loose term, I know) in the rotation... alongside shitloads of classic rock (AC/DC, Queen, Dire Straits, CCR etc.). That's obviously making my life easier...

 

[Chryst Krispies]

Oh my word.... That Had a bad day song RUINED my life.

That and Sister Fucking Hazel gumming up the airwaves. Serious Vestibulocochlear distress.

 

[Torniojaws]

Well it was funny back when Radio Rock started here in Finland, and especially my hometown. The local granny-channel Radio Perämeri (played tango, humppa, and some 50's oldies songs) operated for 10 years at the frequency 98,8 MHz, and when Radio Rock started, they started using the same frequency. So one day I was in the bank to do something, and the moment I walked in, the radio started playing Enter Sandman. I just cracked up at that point The waiting area was full of grannies.

I also heard that on Melloboten (metal band festival at a ship cruise from Sweden to Finland and back), the normal elevator music was replaced by black metal That's the way!

 

[Skinny Viking]

I mean, sure, I'd still nail Britney if I ever got the chance ....

The question is, would you do it with or without her wearing the wig?

 

[Metaltastic]

Hahahahahaha, Tornio, what the fuck is humppa, and is it anywhere near as funny as the English version of the word? (meaning, does it mean "baby makin' music")

 

[Chryst Krispies]

I totally agree man, however, you have to be a complete fucking idiot to think that pumping Britney at the gym is going to make ANYONE, even a Britney fan, pump iron harder or run faster on the mill. That is why I get so frustrated when people who have NO IDEA about music cannot even comprehend what goes with what

This I find to be a little false. No offense, but I think that the music itself has no bearing on athletic performance....OT I know.

I've done heavy deadlifts listening to Andy Mckee and D.D.R joints before.

I think it's mainly for that background kinda ambience.

NOW I still think playing Britney Spear's anywhere in public is absurd, because it's really not popular music. I don't know why people call it pop. She's got a bajillion "fans" But I have yet to meet ANYONE in my entire life that likes her music.

Maybe cause I don't hang with 12 year olds. Hhaha.

 

[J the TyranT]

the absolute worst lyrics Ive EVER heard.... were on this demo that Bjorn Strid of Soilwork had that somebody had given him once...

Clearly, English wasnt the guy's first language... because the shit he was saying didnt even make any fucking sense... but the song was about how he's sick of his GF and wants to kill her...

Only it was ridiculous... he was saying he'd go hiking with her and push her down the mountain and shit... trust me... with the broken english and words and phrases that didnt make sense... it was just unreal

 

[Metaltastic]

HAHAHAHAHAHAAHhahahaha, Speed's lyrics have always been TOTALLY nonsensical to me, so that doesn't surprise me at all - god would I love to see that

Oh wait, it was a demo GIVEN to Speed - still, I'm sure it was hysterical

 

[_Brutalism_]

This I find to be a little false. No offense, but I think that the music itself has no bearing on athletic performance....OT I know.

I've done heavy deadlifts listening to Andy Mckee and D.D.R joints before.

I think it's mainly for that background kinda ambience.

NOW I still think playing Britney Spear's anywhere in public is absurd, because it's really not popular music. I don't know why people call it pop. She's got a bajillion "fans" But I have yet to meet ANYONE in my entire life that likes her music.

Maybe cause I don't hang with 12 year olds. Hhaha.

Yes of course it has nothing to do with athletic performance. But morale and a feel-good vibe is created through the ambience and that always plays even the most subtle of effects on performance. I watched a program on discovery where two people were forced to place their hand in ice-cold water which was so cold it was painful for a few minutes. One time listening to music they liked and once to music they hated. Funnily enough, they couldn't resist long enough when the music they hated was on. I believe in this. My tolerance level goes down.

Once day I went to the gym early and was allowed to pump some metal at my own will and the psychological effect was very noticable. I felt reinvigorated, as if I was in my own world. It "improved" my session because it boosted my mood. This has been proven to be a key element and I believe in it as it has worked on me. Sorry to go back a bit off topic slightly.

 

[Chryst Krispies]

Yeah I'm not denying that feeling better attributes to better performance. I'm just saying that many people at health-clubs/gyms aren't really consciously listening to the music. It's more just background something for them almost like white noise. Most people nowadays rep ipods or some shite anyway. Why leave it to chance I say.

 

[_Brutalism_]

I totally agree man. It's more of a luxury which can be exluded if need be to be but if it's possible I wouldn't say no to something to add to my performance, even on the smallest of scales. I'm guilty of listening to pure hardcore music like Throwdown in the gym on my Ipod because it just makes me feel better. err: too much information on my part?)