The Daily Camera/ Mirror picture

[Dead Winter]

So you're saying America has too much time on its hands. I'd agree with that.

 

[~Lynn~]

Think about it; would you hold a wine glass like a beer can?

Is this a trick question?

 

[Dead Winter]

 

[neal]

if i didnt switch my fork back to my right hand i would probably stab myself in the eye

 

[Dead Winter]

Me too! Unless I kept it upside down, of course, like when you stab something and cut it with the knife in the right hand. But turning it back right-side up? With my left hand? While being right-handed? I'd lose an eye, put a hole in my cheek, or stab my gums.

I don't even know if I can even hold the fork properly right-side up with my left hand.

 

[replicated]

I tried eating cereal with my left hand. That didn't turn out so well.

 

[TomAwesome]

I use my silverware ambidextrously. If I'm using a fork and knife, I start based on which utensil is closer to which hand and switch whenever I feel it will give me a "better" angle to work on my meat from (teehee). I'm sure it's horridly improper, but it works for me and doesn't seem to make me look like a slob.

 

[WhiteBeastofWotan]

I chop food and transport it to my mouth with my mind.

 

[Dead Winter]

I tried eating cereal with my left hand. That didn't turn out so well.

How much did you get on your shirt?

 

[Dead Winter]

I use my silverware ambidextrously. If I'm using a fork and knife, I start based on which utensil is closer to which hand and switch whenever I feel it will give me a "better" angle to work on my meat from (teehee). I'm sure it's horridly improper, but it works for me and doesn't seem to make me look like a slob.

I wouldn't say it's horribly improper as long as you're not stabbing the meat with the fork in a clenched fist like a Viking or a 2 year old. I've literally seen people here eat like that and it makes me want to not eat with them. It's embarrassing.

 

[WhiteBeastofWotan]

Seriously?

 

[Dead Winter]

Seriously. Things like that fork thing where people hold it like it's an icepick while they cut their meat, or holding it like a baby holds its utensils when it's first learning to feed itself in a fist over or under the fork and not cradling it in their fingers, people smelling their food (not enjoying the aroma but smelling like a dog would smell its food), farting or burping really loud at the table (unless it's a proper environment not in public), people shoveling food in their mouths with their head about 1mm from the plate like they're starving to death gets an instant, "I'm never eating with you again" from me. It makes me really uncomfortable and embarrassed. Again, we're talking about going out to eat in a decent restaurant, not getting drunk with your friends at their house. You can eat with your ass cheeks if you like if we're just getting hammered and grilling.

 

[Dead Winter]

Oh, and let's not forget the people who spit out the fat from their steak ONTO THEIR PLATE. UGH.

 

[Dead_Lioness]

Granted, you don't eat like this at home, and I usually just keep the fork in my left hand and cut with my right when I'm at home, but in a formal situation, what I described by switching hands is the proper, formal etiquette for us. If you are at a dinner with the English or Americans and the company is rather high society for lack of a better phrase, then you should eat like this. If you are in Italy, you should most definitely not eat like this, as it would be an insult.

.

See.... that's exactly where I see both worlds' differences...
I find that mostly US/English culture has to 'define' when to eat properly and when not, while in other cultures (e.g.: west Europe) we just don't think about it... we eat how we eat and how we eat- happens to be proper, I guess... ? Left hand is holding the knife, right is holding the fork...
I absolutely eat like that when I'm alone, I eat like that among my buddies, and I eat like that in 'proper high society events' there is no difference for me... I don't eat like a slob or a pig when I'm alone, and then act all "proper" in public... that's so fake IMO... Eating with both hands using utensils is not a big deal or a "show off" behavior, it's a way of life... I dunno if that makes sense? I just don't think about it... that's how I was raised, that's how I eat...

 

[replicated]

My girlfriend holds her fork like she's stabbing someone in the back when she cuts meat. It's truly embarrassing in public.

 

[Captain Beard]

Nah, any girl attacks a steak like it personally insulted her, I'm ok with.

 

[El Stormo]

Oh, and let's not forget the people who spit out the fat from their steak ONTO THEIR PLATE. UGH.

Or those who grant you the sublime sight of the food in their mouths changing shape as they chew with their mouths wide open.

What would you seriously do in real life if I did? I'm genuinely curious to know. Would you walk out or just say something or what?

If you did? That would mean we'd be sharing the same table. As unlikely as that is to happen, if it did occur, it would likely be in a casual situation. I probably wouldn't say anything, because casual situations being what they are, I don't mind people eating 'rudely'. Hell, even I do it for laughs in some situations.

If, hypothetically, we were in a decent restaurant and you'd have such appalling table manners (i.e. eating like a noisy, dirty pig) that you're bothering other people and embarrassing the people at your table, including me, then yeah, I'd tell you to tone it down a notch. I'd tell you in a friendly way first, then if you didn't listen, and kept going despite a second, less friendly warning, I'd probably throw my cash on the table and leave you there. Possibly even apologizing for your behaviour to the other people.

Dog knows stuffing your face with food is absolutely revolting behavior, amirite Olivia Munn?

Well, she did it for the sake of comedy. You're not going to call Michael Palin revolting because he played the role of Mr. Creosote, are you?

 

[Dead Winter]

See.... that's exactly where I see both worlds' differences...
I find that mostly US/English culture has to 'define' when to eat properly and when not, while in other cultures (e.g.: west Europe) we just don't think about it... we eat how we eat and how we eat- happens to be proper, I guess... ? Left hand is holding the knife, right is holding the fork...
I absolutely eat like that when I'm alone, I eat like that among my buddies, and I eat like that in 'proper high society events' there is no difference for me... I don't eat like a slob or a pig when I'm alone, and then act all "proper" in public... that's so fake IMO... Eating with both hands using utensils is not a big deal or a "show off" behavior, it's a way of life... I dunno if that makes sense? I just don't think about it... that's how I was raised, that's how I eat...

I'm not saying that you're allowed to eat like a slob when you're alone, just that a modicum of decency is expected in any case. You don't have to really eat with your hand in your lap alone, but at the dinner table with my family it was always expected as proper manners. At home or at any event there was no change in etiquette, only that it's a little more relaxed at home. You make it sound like I meant it's ok to eat with your elbows on the table and slurp your drink at home but in public you had to watch your manners. It's not like that at all.

Also, it's bad form to use your knife to push food onto your fork and ESPECIALLY bad form to use bread to mop up what's left of the food when you're done. Again, if you're by yourself it's not that big of a deal but at dinner with other people in certain situations it's JUST NOT DONE.

 

[WhiteBeastofWotan]

Also, it's bad form to use your knife to push food onto your fork and ESPECIALLY bad form to use bread to mop up what's left of the food when you're done. Again, if you're by yourself it's not that big of a deal but at dinner with other people in certain situations it's JUST NOT DONE.

These are things I have done and shall continue to do. There is certainly a point where this etiquette goes beyond absurd. I'm not some uncultured slob, and I will agree that some of these rules have good reasons (mouth closed, dont spit the meat out, etc) but etiquette for its own sake is retarded.

 

[Dead Winter]

My girlfriend holds her fork like she's stabbing someone in the back when she cuts meat. It's truly embarrassing in public.

Yes, it is...that's exactly what I was describing. It looks like they don't know how to eat properly. I've actually seen GROWN MEN hold their fork like a baby with their entire fist over the handle like you'd hold a garden spade or something and eat like that. I never went out to eat with that person again because it was embarrassing.

There are things you can let slide and things you simply can't. The hand in the lap is not such a big deal in casual situations. Using specific hands to hold your fork and knife is not such a big deal. But holding your fork like a baby does or holding it like you're stabbing someone when cutting meat is downright bad manners, just as bad as chewing with your mouth open or talking with your mouth full. I literally get this image of his mother having to feed him herself because he's too much of an invalid to do it himself.

Whatever style you choose, you can't go wrong with the napkin in your lap and elbows off the table while using your utensils like an adult. It's amazing how some people simply can't even do that.