The Great American Gun Fetish
- Thread starter UltimateApathy
- Start date
"Some folks ride like the wind
With the whispering pines to guide them
And the burning light inside them
Keeps them warm in the snow
Others fear the sounds they hear
Make bandito's out of mole-hills
Fill their hearts with porcupine quills
They're dead and buried long before they go
Charlton Heston movies are no longer in demand
His immortal soul my lay forever in the sand
The angels wouldn't take him up to heaven like he planned
'Cause they couldn't pry that gun from his cold dead hand
It takes a cold dead hand to decide to pull the trigger
It takes a cold dead heart and as near as I can figure
With your cold dead aim you're trying to prove your dick is bigger
But we know your chariot may not be swinging low
Cold dead hand - cold dead hand
Cold dead hand - cold dead hand
You're a big big man with an little bitty gland
So you need something bigger just to fill
Your cold dead hand
Imagine if the lord were here
And he knew what you've been thinkin'
Would his sacred heart be sinkin'
Into the canyon of dismay
And on the ones who sell the guns
He'd signal vultures and coyotes
Only the devil's true devotees
Could profiteer from pain and fear
Charlton Heston movies are no longer in demand
His immortal soul my lay forever in the sand
The angels wouldn't take him up to heaven like he planned
'Cause they couldn't pry that gun from his cold dead hand
It takes a cold dead hand to decide to pull the trigger
It takes a cold dead heart and as near as I can figure
With your cold dead aim you're trying to prove your junk is bigger
But we know your chariot may not be swinging low
Cold dead hand - cold dead hand
Cold dead hand - cold dead hand
Cold dead hand - cold dead hand
You're a big big man with an little bitty gland
So you need something bigger with a hair-pin trigger
You don't want to get caught with your trousers down
When the psycho killer comes around
So you make your home like a thunderdome
And you're always packin' everywhere you roam
But the psycho's win no matter what you do
'Cause they're gonna buy way more guns than you
And while you're stumbling out of bed
They put five rounds in the back of your head
Or you get depressed 'cause the money runs out
Then you put your own shotgun in your mouth
And your kids walk in and they find you there
Like a headless stump in your underwear
And they move the gun and it kills them too
And your wife just doesn't know what to do
But she takes a hand grenade from her shoe
And she pulls the pin...
And it's all on you
And your cold dead hand"
With the whispering pines to guide them
And the burning light inside them
Keeps them warm in the snow
Others fear the sounds they hear
Make bandito's out of mole-hills
Fill their hearts with porcupine quills
They're dead and buried long before they go
Charlton Heston movies are no longer in demand
His immortal soul my lay forever in the sand
The angels wouldn't take him up to heaven like he planned
'Cause they couldn't pry that gun from his cold dead hand
It takes a cold dead hand to decide to pull the trigger
It takes a cold dead heart and as near as I can figure
With your cold dead aim you're trying to prove your dick is bigger
But we know your chariot may not be swinging low
Cold dead hand - cold dead hand
Cold dead hand - cold dead hand
You're a big big man with an little bitty gland
So you need something bigger just to fill
Your cold dead hand
Imagine if the lord were here
And he knew what you've been thinkin'
Would his sacred heart be sinkin'
Into the canyon of dismay
And on the ones who sell the guns
He'd signal vultures and coyotes
Only the devil's true devotees
Could profiteer from pain and fear
Charlton Heston movies are no longer in demand
His immortal soul my lay forever in the sand
The angels wouldn't take him up to heaven like he planned
'Cause they couldn't pry that gun from his cold dead hand
It takes a cold dead hand to decide to pull the trigger
It takes a cold dead heart and as near as I can figure
With your cold dead aim you're trying to prove your junk is bigger
But we know your chariot may not be swinging low
Cold dead hand - cold dead hand
Cold dead hand - cold dead hand
Cold dead hand - cold dead hand
You're a big big man with an little bitty gland
So you need something bigger with a hair-pin trigger
You don't want to get caught with your trousers down
When the psycho killer comes around
So you make your home like a thunderdome
And you're always packin' everywhere you roam
But the psycho's win no matter what you do
'Cause they're gonna buy way more guns than you
And while you're stumbling out of bed
They put five rounds in the back of your head
Or you get depressed 'cause the money runs out
Then you put your own shotgun in your mouth
And your kids walk in and they find you there
Like a headless stump in your underwear
And they move the gun and it kills them too
And your wife just doesn't know what to do
But she takes a hand grenade from her shoe
And she pulls the pin...
And it's all on you
And your cold dead hand"
CiG
Approximately Infinite Universe
TechnicalBarbarity
Poser Disposer
Inter-quoting between two different threads? That must have taken a lot of effort, son, you should rest now.
TechnicalBarbarity
Poser Disposer
CiG
Approximately Infinite Universe
I make sure that whenever a political topic comes up, my students are well aware of what in-bred retarded evil buffoons conservatives are. When we discussed it yesterday, I explained it to them simply: conservative governments don't want people to have healthcare, don't want to help poor and disadvantanged people, want rape victims to have their rapists' babies, and mainly exist only to suck the dicks of large corporations and the rich (I might have worded that last part a bit differently though). I also have them a simple analogy: George W. Bush (a dumbfuck conservative) broke things big-time in the U.S., Obama fixed things, and now Orange Clown (the biggest dumbfuck conservative ever) is breaking things again. My students know their political shit now.
TechnicalBarbarity
Poser Disposer
... 
ok now i know hes just trolling.
And he sure in the hell is no teacher. Unless he's teaching some bums in a cracked out back-alley.
ok now i know hes just trolling.And he sure in the hell is no teacher. Unless he's teaching some bums in a cracked out back-alley.
CiG
Approximately Infinite Universe
Ah yes, the old "I don't agree with him therefore he's trolling" shtick. That's exactly the kind of conservative stupidity I was just referring to, hahaha.
CiG
Approximately Infinite Universe
I'm a liberal with some libertarian leanings, that's about as right-wing as I get.
But try again though, teacher.
But try again though, teacher.
TechnicalBarbarity
Poser Disposer
And you wonder why EVERYONE(libtards included) hates you? Because you are blindly spewing out false facts. Constantly. They dont want people to have healthcare? They dont want to help the disadvantaged? They dont want rape victims to have abortions? Are you fucking retarded? You are doing exactly what the scummiest of the scum leftists do right here.Taking a part of their stance "fuck free healthcare" "we dont want to hand out money to crackheads and criminals" "we dont think its ok to abort babies because of the OOPS I FUCKED UP pieces of shits" and weaving it the way only you guys can. Again, do you not realize that people like you are the reason that every day there are more and more people despising the left? Honestly, all i can say is keep going. You're actually doing the opposite of what you think you're doing.
TechnicalBarbarity
Poser Disposer
I'm a liberal with some libertarian leanings, that's about as right-wing as I get.
But try again though, teacher.
You're a liberal? That's funny, if im not mistaken you told me a few years ago that you are a Conservative Libertarian.
TechnicalBarbarity
Poser Disposer
How many bad guys have you stabbed with those, big boy?
You wanna be the first?
Case in point: the conservative government in Ireland absolutely bans all forms of abortion, including abortions for pregnancies caused by rape. Perfect example of right-wingers being both outstandingly stupid and breathtakingly evil.
Furthermore, which countries in the world have the highest standard of living? Yes, those northern European countries with free healthcare, education etc. For whatever reason (probably inbred stupidity) , dumbfuck conservatives can't seem to wrap their heads around the fact that having less poor and homeless people in a society BENEFITS EVERYONE in the society.
How many people in the U.S. end up working in McDonald's, living on the street, or even becoming criminals because they can't afford a university degree in the most expensive tertiary education system in the world?
How many people in the U.S. end up bankrupt or just straight up dying because they can't afford the most expensive healthcare in the world?
The U.S. is a fundamentally-broken country and could learn a lot from the socialist democracies of Northern Europe.
Furthermore, which countries in the world have the highest standard of living? Yes, those northern European countries with free healthcare, education etc. For whatever reason (probably inbred stupidity) , dumbfuck conservatives can't seem to wrap their heads around the fact that having less poor and homeless people in a society BENEFITS EVERYONE in the society.
How many people in the U.S. end up working in McDonald's, living on the street, or even becoming criminals because they can't afford a university degree in the most expensive tertiary education system in the world?
How many people in the U.S. end up bankrupt or just straight up dying because they can't afford the most expensive healthcare in the world?
The U.S. is a fundamentally-broken country and could learn a lot from the socialist democracies of Northern Europe.
TechnicalBarbarity
Poser Disposer
CiG
Approximately Infinite Universe
This guy absolutely hates conservatives to an irrational degree, yet worships conservative countries like Israel and his pet Asian nations. Pretty funny.
Their national defense is also essentially paid for by America's military. So even with their countries being protected by the evil American military they still can't seem to not piss their successes away by turning their borders into a free meal line for economic migrants.
Give it some time, those high living standards will probably shit themselves.
Conservatarian yes, I still wouldn't reject that description of myself as all I ever meant by it was an attempt to differentiate myself from pro-choice libertarians.
By liberal I mean it in the classical sense, which I guess really is the same as a libertarian in many ways.
Political language is fucked.
Their national defense is also essentially paid for by America's military. So even with their countries being protected by the evil American military they still can't seem to not piss their successes away by turning their borders into a free meal line for economic migrants.
Give it some time, those high living standards will probably shit themselves.
Conservatarian yes, I still wouldn't reject that description of myself as all I ever meant by it was an attempt to differentiate myself from pro-choice libertarians.
By liberal I mean it in the classical sense, which I guess really is the same as a libertarian in many ways.
Political language is fucked.
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