The Official Neal For President Campaign Kicks Off Today!

yes, the rumors are true! the semi-controversial and highly. . . well, high californian is starting a massive fund in hopes of becoming the country's next president in 2005. his 'fuck politics' approach will surely garner him many votes from uber-leftists and semi-righties, as well as those who wasted their votes on ross perot for all those years. when asked to comment on this stance, he began with the usual critcism of the nation's current president, then, in a drunken frenzy, began pointing out all the conservatives and screaming "you're all living in the fucking past!"

at this juncture we are not sure what his stance on other issues are. aside from his dire quest to legalize marijuana. "not that it would change much for me, of course" he once stated on the subject. "we've gotta think about the children, ya know? or something. . ." more to come soon on his views on other policies.

as a side note, if neal is elected, he would become the first president, or any high-ranking official in american history, to sport dredlocks.

SO GET OUT THERE AMERICANS AND VOTE FOR NEAL THIS NOVEMBER IN THE PRIMARIES!!!
 
sorry it took so long to respond, but ive been too busy taking bong rips and watching cartoons....as my campaign manager just pointed out, vote for me! i mean, how hard can it be to take bribes from large corperations and go on vacation to my ranch in texas every 3 months? i can do this job better than any of those stiff old fucks. screw 'bringing back dignity', i plan to bring inebreation and hookers back to the whitehouse. ive decided that my campaign theme song shall be "dont stop at the top" (children of bodom version of course). every time i hear alexi shouting "dont fucking motherfucking ever stop at the fucking top" i get so inspired that it brings a tear to my eye. i hope it brings one to your's as well. thanks.
-neal
 
I'll be your assassin/trusted VP.


Note: I assassinate at HIS command, not assassinate him.
 
NoLordy Capone said:
I'll be your assassin/trusted VP.
hells yeh. we dont need no pussy vp thats hiding in an 'undisclosed location' all the damn time. i need a nice burly psycho that can 'pursuade' motherfuckers to see my point of view about certain issues, without getting my own hands too dirty. im the pres. after all. and yeh pyrus, you can be minister of bullshit.
-neal
 
Hey Neal, my absentee ballot came in today, what was your last name again?

(Nevermind, I see you on AIM)
 
Hey when you become pres, although you'll have a shitload of money and can get all the hot chicks you want don't forget to find a fat whore to suck your willie.