The Poll to end all polls.

[U[Sic]M]

Hello, everyone! You might not recognise me because I´m actually sitting in front of Mattias of the Night´s pink, lady-modded computer typing this, but this is actually U[Sic]M. Cool, huh? Well, not actually, SinCCE thEre´´S some SorTT of ranDDom AllT. CaPPs.-button on HiSS kiiBoARReD, WhiCCh AlSSo FuccKKs Upp dAA SpeLLliGnGg. Whew, there, I managed to shut it off. Interesting, though, this is how he typed all those posts with alternating capitals. Well, I´d better get on with the post...

Okay, time has come for me to make a poll. This is not only A poll, this is THE Poll. All other polls will be rendered useless and obsolete once this one goes online, so there is no need to post anymore polls...ever. Got it?

Well, a similar poll to this one was actually posted on the OUIFf (short for Official Unofficial In Flames-forum, for anyone who doesn´t know) a while back ago. Needless to say, its incarnation there was totally immature and childish, and they had actually stolen the idea from other forums such as The Backstreet Boys-forum. My poll, however, is extreeemely well thought-out and awesome.

This Poll is probably, no, IS the most versatile poll ever to grace the realm of man. For example, instead of just voting for the cutest, handsomest and most strapping band member, you could make the alternatives correspond to whichever band member has contributed to the bestest songs or has the koolest clothes or writes the worst lyrics... Well, as you might have deduced, the list could go on forever. You see? Do you see the genius of it?! Well, some of you won´t, but that´s alright, you don´t have to beat yourselves up about it just because you´re idiots. You just have to trust me when I claim its total fantastic-hood.

 

[Siren]

Ur[Sick]Man: It is Martin "Uhm...yeah, he who used to play the bass...-dude" Henriksson, therefore i refuse to vote in your failure of a poll.

 

[U[Sic]M]

Well, of course it´s MARTIN, donkeyman. You think I didn´t know that?! Do you think I spent, oh say, 5 minutes writing a post and composing this mother of a poll without knowing perfectly well that his name was Martin?

You know, I could harass you for not spelling my name correctly for ages and ages upon aeons, but do you see me doing that? The answer is no, because I am mature and awesome. This is something you know nothing about, and therefore you go about mocking other people for seemingly misspelled names and words. You see, I anticipated that you would, without a doubt in your mind, take any chance to make me look bad in front of others (seeing as you hate and despise me for my popularity and wit), so I PLANTED this OBVIOUS incorrectness in the Poll. You shall henceforth be known as FISHIE, because, like a fish, you swallowed the bait.

I will now laugh at your gargantuan mistake:

 

[xenophobe]

I don't see how this poll will end all polls.

 

[Siren]

U[Sick]M: You keep making mistakes. I'm not a donkeyman, everyone with some brains would easily figure out i'm a fishwoman.

You know, I could harass you for calling me a FISHIE for ages and ages upon aeons, but do you see me doing that? The answer is no, because i very well know that i am half-fish, and i don't deny my identity like you obviously do by denouncing the way i called you. Self-knowledge is something you have no idea about, and therefore you go about mocking other people for seemingly misspelling your name(s) and falling into your traps. You see, I anticipated that you would, without a doubt in your mind, take any chance to make me look stupid in front of others (seeing as you hate and despise me for my beauty and intelligence), so I PLANTED this OBVIOUS correction to the Poll. You shall henceforth be known as BORING, because, like a sick idiot, you bore me to death.

I will now not laugh at your gargantuan mistake because i'm bored.

 

[JesteR-7]

I don't understand this and I don't want to understand.

 

[Naku ist krig]

I voted MIKAEL because U[Sic]M rocks!

 

[Siren]

After what RH just said, i think U[Sick]M should have named them all MIKAEL, or at least should have provided the variation Mikael,Niklas,Mikael,Niklas,Mikael,Niklas.

 

[BiatchGuy]

haha

I'm getting a mental image of a terrible sitcom called "Suddenly Sundin" in which Niklas runs an art publication with a staff of big-titted brunette secretaries... it would run for about five seasons even though nobody watches it.




uhm..






yeah

 

[rahvin]

i'd have preferred niklas "pretty soon" sundin (it's got an interesting pun on the last name, hasn't it?), but every time i see a poll with niklas as an option i automatically vote for him without even reading the content. the fact that u[sic]m - whose synthesis skills equate those of lev tolstoj - tried to explain the reason behind this just proved to me the world's still round.

rahvin.

 

[Mattias the Bitch Boy]

Aren't you Swedish or something, Sicboy? You got some very impressive, elite English skillz, just like me!

You and me Sic. We're just amazing! It is only a matter of days before the internet becomes mattnet now, because our forces combined is just too strong for any moderator to control!

 

[U[Sic]M]

Siren-thingie-person-woman type being: Of course you´re a woman. Do you think by calling you "Donkeyman", I was referring to your gender? You think I meant "donkenMAN", as in a male donkey? Because that would be really stupid and retarded of you to think. When calling you "Donkeyman" I was simply affixing a surname to your later given first name. You see now? Fishie Donkeyman?

It´s also really unkool and uninnovative of you to totally copy and rip off my post and insert some meaningless shit in place of my excellently chosen words.

rahvin: Yes, "Pretty Soon", quite crafty indeed, although not as clever as the alias I gave him: "Sudden", which roughly means "The Eraser" in swedish. Of course, what everyone must understand is that the english translation does not convey all the smart little nuances and subtleties that its swedish counterpart expresses, which explains why it doesn´t sound quite as funny in english.

Mattias: Yes, the world - and, indeed, the universe and all that exists - shall once again revert to swedish rule, in the form of the giants which are us (well, you slightly less so, but still). Gotta do something about that name, though. Perhaps, the "World Matt Web" and the "Sicternet", or perhaps the better "World Sic Web" or the "Sic Wide Web". Then we will be unstoppable!

 

[MP-AKK]

Uhm, yeah...

Sudden all the way anyhow. Have you seen his artwork? Tiptop nice (messed up) stuff.

 

[U[Sic]M]

Originally posted by MP-AKK
Sudden all the way anyhow. Have you seen his artwork?

No. Is it kewl?

 

[MP-AKK]

Yup, have a look at his site; http://www.cabinfevermedia.com/

 

[NeXTLiFE]

Originally posted by xenophobe
I don't see how this poll will end all polls.

Sheeit, it's a dumbass poll, and i just brought it back to the top by agreeing with you xeno! Does this make it my fault or yours?

 

[U[Sic]M]

Originally posted by MP-AKK
Yup, have a look at his site; http://www.cabinfevermedia.com/

SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!!! Apparently, this dude also plays guitar in Dark Tranquillity.

 

[Siren]

Originally posted by U[Sic]M
SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!!! Apparently, this dude also plays guitar in Dark Tranquillity.

You mean you didn't know?