The Soundtrack of my Poo...

WhiteBeastofWotan

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May 22, 2003
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I want to share with the rest of you, when was the first time I pooed to opeth.
When my best friend introduced me into the “Poo World”, was 5 or 6 years ago I think.
He lended me My Poo, Your Poo... and what can I say about that beautiful pooing? I was completely astonishing. Nice mellow parts, an incredible violence and screams, desperation and sadness, the necessity of claming for help -and finally- an exquisite voice made for make you poo like a baby until you fall asleep.
I’ve found (with total honesty) the soundtrack of my poo.
Every person in life has the same and stupid poos and shits, and we spend the whole poo trying to be happy, trying to find the feces of our lives and if we can: start a bowel movement. Others find happiness helping poo people. Other people adjust their lives with simple feces (like me) And that’s life, very simple, but really really hard to poo.
Opeth is like poo itself, has every condiment, has every poo shed for the moon and stars, has every shadow; that ones who are hiding in the night awaiting for someone to poo. Has a feeling with each one of us because we are all pooing, but we poo in the same point. Even if we think different, our way of feel poo it’s the same.
When I’ve pooed that record my search came to an end. It was like I’ve finally pooed myself.
I was so desperate... I couldn’t poo it as much as I wish because the words are not invented yet, and it’s so personal that hurts, hope you’ll undestand this.
I was so lost and sad, maybe pooing with myself that my life was becoming a living turd. Of course pooing, did not save my life because if I say it I would be a completely poo, but they transported me to an imaginary life... to a magic poo where I can be what I want, and believe me, that’s pooping to me, visualize a different poo sometimes is the best option, trying to fly to another world, with my own poo, my natural poo, but with a smile on my turd.
That’s why I love this band, because I have learned that sometimes when I think I must be the only person in this earth who feel this kind of poo, I’m not the only, not anymore.
So this is the soundtrack of my poo: My Poo, your poo.
Maybe some of you will think that I am the most pathetic poo on earth, but this is me. Ignore it or not, it’s poop.
Thanks for have spent a few seconds pooing this and thanks for understand English, it is not my native poo.

Poo.-
 
Funny, This board is getting worse and worse with people always resorting to these kind of threads, it was funny though
 
ChrisEmerson said:
that is an incredibly lame attempt at a joke thread. seriously people, if you are gonna post a joke thread, at least make it half funny. this is just rubbish.

Yea! maybe I'm being too nice here, this thread is shit (every pun intended)
 

Well... I have a couple of things to say about it.
Yesterday I shared a few words with Synergy, and (until yesterday) it wasn’t in my plans or even in my mind waste my precious time writing these words – as I said to Synergy- I prefer getting wasted with beer and friends, listen to music or read some good books, study, etc..., but I realized it would be nice trying to offer (to) Wolftribe my particular and unusual point of view (all these years I’ve learned bad words and some good insults than grammatics, and trust me, my brain is killing me for it) LOL
First of all, I don’t care if after this you’ll want to talk, insult or even trying to mocking at me again ‘cuz you’re on my beautiful ‘Ignore List’ already, so whatever you’re gonna say: Eat your own shit, honey. (I apologize but I couldn’t resist!)
Let’s analyze your weird name: Wolftribe, ok... Tribe full of wolves??? Isn’t it? Come on!! Is this some kind of Romulus & Remo’s thing? LOL, my sweet Satan... so that’s the reason that you have never had good modals because you were born with a bunch of animals, didn’t you?
Well cute, if this is the reason, I’ll forgive everything you said before ‘cuz you didn’t have modals at all (and you’ll never have) so you’re an animal with no feelings, moral, ethics and you’ll never have reasoning, so basically: you’re a pet. Everything you say or act it’s because you don’t have brain, you do whatever the people tells you have to do. ( well... you have, but you didn’t learn how to use it because nobody had the time to trained a beast like you, you know what I mean, right? Maybe you don’t understand humans, that’s ok, good dog I have a bone here. LOL) This is funny, are you having a good time with this, don’t you?
OR... maybe you don’t have friends and you’re dying for have one and you spend the whole day trying to please someone to laugh at your own shitty jokes based on replace ONE word to make them more or less funnier. That is soooo sad, I think you need a python’s hug. LOL (this IS funny and I swear I’m not drunk. I got wasted on weekends)
So this is another reason: Wolftribe is a buffoon AND a mediocre clown.
Question: Why don’t you join the fucking circus?
Changing a bit, another thought: I love death metal bands, those ones who has great imagination: sexual violence, strangulations, killing spree, bloodbath (what a damn fucking band, I love them) the gore ones rule. I love visualize what some bands are singing, I think is amusing, also create images in my brain helps me to have more morbid imagination too, don’t you think? (yeah, maybe I’m insane, so fucking what?) :kickass:
As I assume you’re alone because of your very bad attitude, modals and behavior, I was thinking maybe you never had a girlfriend to dedicate some songs and vice-versa.
But I’m a good girl and I want to dedicate 2, yeah! Not 1! ...2!! Ok, ok! Don’t cry and don’t thank me puppy, here’s your bone ...now... run!! LOL, I do this because I have pity for you.
This is FUCKED WITH A KNIFE (yeah, I love this song and I hope at least you’ll get some kind of sex with an extreme sharp knife and then cut your wrists with a razorblade if you can do it before you’ll cum IF a girl don’t want to get close to you)
“ Tied tight to the bed/legs spread open/bruised flesh, lacerations/skin stained with blood/my knife deep inside his (tiny) cock is bleeding/stick it in/rip the skin/carve and twist/torn flesh from behind/I cut his (tiny again) cock/in his ass/stuck my knife/killing him to death”./
So...as I said to Synergy, this would be my Charles Manson’s dream LOL (when I’m drunk my imagination is awesome)
STABBED IN THE THROAT: “Stabbed in the throat/ I believe in sacrifice, sliced open with my knife/ your body is now life deprived/ Vocal cords twitching/esophagus severed/a hemorrhaging brain/ your lacerated jugular vein is spurting away/as mortality fades/I am ready to flay your whole body and head/ vigorously carving this fresh human flesh/I’m chewing bloody skin from the cadaver/consuming lifeless meat/half-eaten corpse lies skinless in the gutter/ I AM REVITALIZED!!
I think I’ve covered everything and if I forgot something, it’s ok because I’m not going to speak to you ever AGAIN. So, whatever you’re gonna say;
I WILL LAUGH SO DAMN HARD THAT YOU’RE GONNA HEAR ME BITCH.
Hahaha! I can’t stop laughing. This sort of “letter” will make laugh each one of you. (I should find a job and start doing some monologues, seriously...)
See?... I’m four thousand times more IRONIC, SARCASTIC and even FUNNIER than YOU.
Conclusion: DONT’ FUCK WITH ME AGAIN TINY WOLF CUB BECAUSE NO ONE WILL LISTEN TO YOU “AGAIN” (including me, of course)
Kisses lame ass bastard cunt motherfucker with aids LOL.
\m/
Luz.-

PS:...And you didn’t hurt my feelings showing your “funny skills” to replace my words with your limited lexicon.
PS: I apologize with our lovely moderators for reading this. He started all this crap! Hahaha!
VAI VAI HONEY, GET A LIFE QUICKLY AND START LIVING IT FOR FUCK’S SAKE.
NO HARD FEELINGS RIGHT? LOL LOL LOL
...I love being sarcastic.
 
...

Wow.

1) This wasn't meant as an insult, retard. Stop being so prissy about it, and take your period medicines, i dont want to be the brunt of your monthly PMS.

2) Its funny how wrong your analyzation of how you think I am was.


As for my username... its Vader, and if you do not like/know Vader, then your opinion does not count anyway.
 
Oh yeah, now I get it. First I thought you were making fun of her too. But then I realised it was just healthy (althought rather idiotic, but still funny) humor.

edit: Oh yeah, and Luz's reply is unfortunatly way to unstructured to read. Maybe tomorrow when I ain't as tired as I am right now. Why am I telling you this? It's not like you care. Oh well... :wave: