Pooing on the clock

My boss and I crack open beers by 3:00 almost every day. It's really getting kinda old.
 
Friday afternoon at the IT shop can get interesting:

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i can't poop in public restrooms...unless it's the rare fully enclosed stall :p

i am pooping right now though, at home :)
 
you have huge tits, so the Micheal Jackson part is rather irrelevant.

but getting drunk at work is awesome :headbang:

Michael Jackson is NEVER irrelevant.

And being drunk on the bus is kind of lame. I kept falling asleep on the person next to me. And then some super sleazy ruined-his-life-with-drugs looking old guy came up to me as he was getting off the bus, and I thought he said "You look like you were partying tonight."

So I said "I just got off of work," and was going to act all offended.

"No, I said you look pretty tonight."

"...oh."

"You don't look like the partying type."

And I laughed a little inside.
 
I'm awesome at attracting creepy old men.

The last day the store was open (Sunday), one of my managers got me to wear one of the kids shirts we were selling, and since everything was 90% off, she put a price tag on it that said $2. And then some guy in a shirt that said "Super model roommate wanted" came up to me and said "So you're two dollars, huh?" and I got all weirded out and walked away.
 
In the mind of *most* adult males, its not quite as creepy as you think. Just perverted. :p
 
We are alloted 30 minutes of personal break time at my job and some hour of administrative time. So of course, I only crap on administrative time. Hell, I plan my crapping around time at work. Rule is if I can make twenty dollars for a good hour on the shitter, my day is entirely justified (no matter how unpleasant the rest of it went).
 
Isn't it even better if your old boss not only encourages this, but expects it? Said himself: "There is no better time to take a shit than on state time. David, I expect anytime you gotta crap and you're still on the clock, do it here, hell, come back from lunch and do it here, we won't say anything."

That man was awesome.
 
I'm awesome at attracting creepy old men.

I always say, if you have a talent, find a way to use it. Somewhere out there is someone who needs one or more creepy old men lured somewhere. Possibly the FBI.

We are alloted 30 minutes of personal break time at my job and some hour of administrative time. So of course, I only crap on administrative time. Hell, I plan my crapping around time at work. Rule is if I can make twenty dollars for a good hour on the shitter, my day is entirely justified (no matter how unpleasant the rest of it went).

How can you spend an hour on the shitter if you aren't suffering from Cholera or something? I doubt I spend an hour a week.
 
^ Exactly. I do a lot of reading in there, and come up with some of my brilliant ideas upon the crapper. Of course on those rough post-drinking, too many spicy chicken wing kinda days, there can be much excretory destruction wrought in the name of administrative time... even better.
 
No, that would be "straining the whole time" while on it. Hemorrhoids come from overexertion of the muscles.