The Wife/GF/Chick Quote Thread

[dorian gray]

yeah, so we all know that chicks say some wierd stuff. post your good ones here.
my wife's latest is this:
"some asshole parked his SUV real real close to my car so when i opened up the door, i banged it into his a bunch of times for payback."

heh, i didnt bother to point out that it probably damaged our car much more than it damaged his.

 

[lizard]

my wife's best quote:

"If you ever leave me, it sure won't be because you weren't getting enough sex."

 

[NAD]

"i'm no longer attracted to you."
"you can be a real fucking asshole sometimes."
"stop saying you want to have sex with my friend."
"sorry, i was too busy fucking alex."
"it's not you, it's me." <-- yes i actually heard that once!!!
"i can smell your balls."
"god does not have a last name!"
"i don't want to think."
"if they haven't made a movie out of it, why should i read it?"
"i'm waiting for marriage."
"all my other boyfriends went to church with me."

and my friends wonder why i stopped dating!

 

[matt99_crew]

When I reminded her I was going to the Corrosion of Conformity show that night:

"You don't need to be corroding, you need to be conforming--To family life! You seem to be forgetting that.

It was good natured ball busting and I had to laugh.

 

[snow2fall]

"all my other boyfriends went to church with me."

 

[lurch70]

"you rock"

 

[NAD]

i think i should put some positive ones up, just to stave off the misogyny a little bit (and to compete with lurch's pimp ass ):

"i feel safe around you."
"aren't you glad you have a big winky?"
*laughs at my fart*
"i bought you beer!"
"i'm not pregnant."
"ooooooh you play bass? that's soooooooo coooooooooooool..."

 

[lurch70]

"so IT IS true what they say about guys with big feet"

"your friends are so cool"

"ewww, you sweat too much"

"you want me to go to what concert?"

the above are not from the same person, BTW ..


EDIT ... oh yeah, and a classic one from the day of the speedo ... after a few hours passed

"hmm, I think it's time for you to put the pants back on"

 

[dill_the_devil]

Not strictly a quote, but probably good for a laugh - Jenni has a new pet name for my penis... 'Little Juan'.

Thankfully, though, she is perfectly willing to tell my friends exactly how big my cock is (and the fact that I don't mind that should give you some clue as to the gargantuan nature of my schlong and how happy she usually is to RECEIVE MY LOAD!)

 

[Dark One]

"Why do you want to be with your friends when you can be with me? Don't you love me?"

"Oh... just give that to him, he'll pay for it." (End of the night bar tab)

"I know guys always want to see two girls together, but I think it would be so hot to watch you with one of my guy friends. What do you think?"

"My biggest fantasy is to for you to watch me have sex with a dog."

"Take THAT religion!!" (said while flashing a church with her 38 DD's while driving by at 2:00 am with my extremely turned on friend watching).

"Sure, I LOVE metal!! Korn and Sevendust are like my favorite bands!!"

 

[dill_the_devil]

"Take THAT religion!!"

Family Guy flashback...

The Fonz : "Eeeyyyy!"

Peter Griffin : "Take THAT, 1950s society!"

 

[unhinged]

"why do you need so many CDs?"
"haven't you got enough music?"

 

[dorian gray]

haha! you guys are funny but i think some of you are missing the point. i meant for you to post the *wierd* stuff your women say.

as in: "i didnt know there was a river here" - after taking my wife to the Cumberland river here in nashville, which is a NOTED RIVER CITY.

also, "what city are we in?" while driving around in dayton, ohio, ten miles away from our hometown of yellow springs.

 

[dorian gray]

"Sure, I LOVE metal!! Korn and Sevendust are like my favorite bands!!"

this is a great one!

 

[En Vind Av Sorg]

My Girlfriend on my drug dealing tendencies-

"How can you be busier than me? Dont you and your friends just sit around all day petting your giant tiger named fernando, while naked hookers covered in cocaine constantly dance in the corners to bad south american rap music?"

 

[Dark One]

this is a great one!

Heh, thanks, I wish I could take credit for it.

 

[dorian gray]

"You don't need to be corroding, you need to be conforming--To family life! You seem to be forgetting that.

another great one

 

[IOfTheStorm]

"you are too good for me"
"you deserve something better than me"
Along with some Nad said, these are the most stereotypical quotes ever used by women. I think they are learning since their birth how and when to say these quotes.

 

[Night Mare]

"it's not you, it's me." <-- yes i actually heard that once!!!

I heard that one myself, and believed it.
Another great one is "of course we'll still be friends!"

I had better stop before I embark on some bitter rant about the evils of womankind.

 

[dorian gray]

haha, jeez dudes. i didnt mean to start a misogyny fest. i only meant for you to post the wierd things your significant other has said. my presumption was that women sometimes say things that dont make any sense. maybe it's just *my* wife who does that. but i swear all my buddies have confessed to hearing the strangest things come out of their mouths.