Things to ponder.

[Novembers Paul]

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out"?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp which no decent human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

If Jimmy crackes corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

If the professor on Giligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

Why does goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

What do you call male ballerinas?

Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream??

Why ARE Trix only for kids?

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

Why is a person that handles your money called a 'Broker'?

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

If a man is talking in the forest, and no woman is there to hear him, is he still wrong?

Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over a billion stars in the universe, you believe them, but if they tell you there is wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

If it's a 50mph wind, and you drive your car 50mph downwind, if you stick your head out the window, do you feel the wind?

 

[ShadowLioness]

, those were good...I have an e-mail somewhere that lists the goofiness of the English language...quite entertaining and definitely a lot of points to ponder...I will try to dig it up...or find some other little tidbits that I can post here

 

[ShadowLioness]

Ever wonder where the word "shit" comes from.....well here it is:

Certain types of manure used to be transported (as everything was back then) by ship...well in dry form it weighs a lot less, but once water (at sea) hit it, it not only became heavier, but the process of fermentation began again, which by product is methane gas...and as the stuff was stored below decks in bundles you can see what could (and did) happen, methane began to build up below decks and the first time someone came below at night with a lantern...BOOOOM!

Several ships were destroyed in this manner before it was discovered what was happening. After that, the bundles of manure where always stamped with the term "S.H.I.T" on them which meant to the sailors to "Ship High In Transit." In other words, high enough off the lower decks so that any water that came into the hold would not touch this volatile cargo and start the production of methane.

Bet you didn't know that one.

 

[ShadowLioness]

Ahhh ok Paul, the first one refers to one that you posted...

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time. I know where my watch is, buddy where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the bathroom is??

2. People in the supermarket check out line who wait until their entire bill is rung up before they begin writing their check. Hello, is the store name going to change, or the date, or your signature before the clerk finishes? Get a clue!

3. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire
room for the damn TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change it manually! (This is like the people that fight for the closest parking spot at the gym so they can go in and walk 5 miles on the treadmill.)

4. When people say..."Oh, you just want to have your cake and eat it, too." Screw that!!! What good is a damn piece of cake if you can't eat it? What should I do...eat someone else's piece of cake instead?

5. When people say..."It's always the last place you look." No shit!! Why the hell would you keep looking for it after you've already found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?

6. When people say, while watching a movie, "Did you see that?" No, dumb ass, I paid $7.50 to come to a theater and stare at the ceiling up there, what did you come here for?

7. People who ask, "Can I ask you a question?" Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya buddy?

8. When something is "New & Improved," Which is it? If it's new, there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement then there must have been something before it!

9. When a cop pulls you over and then asks if you know how fast you were going. "You should know asshole. You're the one that pulled me over!"

 

[turnloosetheswans]

the only issue i have is... why is mr rogers always assumed to be a gay ped? he is just a super nice man who is good with children... bob from sesame street doesnt get this sorta backlash and he seems way more ped than my man fred

 

[FrostGiant]

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

No shit. That pisses me off.

If it's a 50mph wind, and you drive your car 50mph downwind, if you stick your head out the window, do you feel the wind?

No you don't. Ever do that on a bicycle with a 10 to 15 mph wind? It's really weird.

 

[chupe666]

Originally posted by Novembers Paul
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

I do this.

Originally posted by Novembers Paul
Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Twinkle twinkle little star
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.

Twinkle, twinkle little star is the English name of a popular French melody named Ah! Vous dirais-je, Maman. It was first published in 1761, but the origin is unknown. Today it is one of the most popular nursery rhymes among toddlers and small children.


Ah ! vous dirais-je, Maman,
Ce qui cause mon tourment
Papa veut que je raisonne,
Comme une grande personne.
Moi je dis que les bonbons
Valent mieux que la raison
Variants also exist:


Ah ! vous dirais-je, Maman,
ce qui cause mon tourment
Papa veut que je demande
de la soupe et de la viande...
Moi, je dis que les bonbons
valent mieux que les mignons.

Ah ! vous dirais-je, Maman,
ce qui cause mon tourment
Papa veut que je retienne
des verbes la longue antienne*...
Moi je dis que les bonbons
valent mieux que les leçons.


*antienne = texte répétitif et lassant comme une ritournelle


Melody
Twinkle Twinkle Little Star in sol-fa? notation (d r m f s l t d = do re me fa so la ti do)
d d s s l l s
f f m m r r d
s s f f m m r
s s f f m m r
d d s s l l s
f f m m r r d

Twinkle Twinkle Little Star in ABC notation, C major:
CCGGAAG
FFEEDDC
GGAAEED
GGAAEED
CCGGAAG
FFEEDDC

The melody of Baa Baa Black Sheep is very similar. Several famous compositions are based on it:
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, Theme and Variations K265
Joseph Haydn, "Surprise" Symphony #94


English lyrics
The English lyrics are normally as follows:

Twinkle, twinkle, little star
How I wonder what you are.
Up above the earth so high
Like a diamond in the sky
Twinkle, twinkle, little star
How I wonder what you are.

Then a traveller in the dark
Thanks you for your tiny spark
He could see which way to go
If you did not twinkle so
Twinkle, twinkle, little star
How I wonder what you are.


The English words are from the poem in couplet form, "The Star", by Ann Taylor (1782-1866) and her sister Jane Taylor (1783-1824) first published in 1806. The Alphabet song is also set to the melody.

Parodies
A transliteration of the English lyrics into deliberately obfuscated? English was made. Though it rhymes well, this version is difficult to sing as it does not fit the traditional melody. (anyone know who and when?)

Scintillate, scintillate, globule vivific
Fain would I fathom thy nature specific.
Loftily poised on ether capacious
Strongly resembling a gem carbonaceous.

A parody of 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star', spoken by the Mad Hatter, appears in Lewis Carroll's Alice's Adventures in Wonderland. It reads:

Twinkle, twinkle, little bat!
How I wonder what you're at!
Up above the world you fly,
Like a teatray in the sky.
Twinkle, twinkle --

The Bat was the nickname of one of the Dons at Oxford.


Another parody is from Mary Dodge's When life is young (1894):
Twinkle, twinkle, little star
I don't wonder what you are!
I've learned more of you, you see,
Than you'll ever know of me.

And the Latin version:
Mica, mica, parva stella,
Miror quaenam sis tam bella.
Super terra in caelo,
Alba gemma splendido.
Mica, mica, parva stella,
Miror quaenam sis tam bella.

 

[chupe666]

Alphabet song
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.

The Alphabet song is a popular method for speakers to learn the alphabet of a given language. It was first copyrighted by C. Bradlee of Boston, Mass. on February 4, 1834 and titled "The Schoolmaster". The alphabet song in English (and in other countries as well) is sung to the tune of Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star.

 

[FrostGiant]

It may have helped me learn the alphabet but for the longest time I had no idea what came between k and q. What the hell is n-o-men-o-pee?