This is the thread I make up Anal Cunt song titles.

Papa Josh said:
Fuck Ozzy and the Alamo, I Pissed On Ground Zero

The Twin Towers Full Of Cowards

It's Fucking Hot In Here And It's A Long Way Down

There's a Plane Headed Through Your Office Window




That's not cliche in the fucking least. :Smug: You suck at this.
 
You Went To See Bob Dylan Perform Live
You Found Out That Your Girlfriend Wasn't A Girl, But In Fact A 51 Year Old Guy Called Darren
You Play The Harmonica
You Have The Complete Back Catalogue Of REM (You're Gay)
The Only Reason You Play The Acoustic Guitar At Parties Is Because You Want To Get Laid, You Cunt
You're Proud Of Your Venezuelian Heritage
You Let Your Fleshlight Go Off In Public At The Sight Of Howard Dean
You Adopted Five Children From The Age Of 2 To 4 From A Chinese Nursery, Because You Wanted To Give These Kids A Chance To Succeed And Prosper In A Rich Country
You Made The Front Page In The Times Because You're Fucking Gay
You Enjoy Being A Member Of The Boy's Scouts, Even Though You're 42
You Work As A Handyman At A Home For Mentally Ill Youngsters
 
You Take Rob Darken Seriously
I Booked Skrewdriver To Play At My Cousin's Bar Mitzvah
You're A Volunteer Worker At Your Local Kindergarten
I Said "Fuck" And Did A Bit Of Lawnmowing Even Though It Was A Sunday
You Enjoy Maths, Physics And Chemistry
 
You Cry When Christmas Is Over (You're Gay)
You Read Science Textbooks On The Bus
You Drive Like Old People Fuck
You Go To Nude Beaches To Stare At Penises And You're Male
You Enjoy Working At McDonald's
I Sent NSBM Demos To The End
Metalcore: Why The Metal Scene Sucks Even Harder Than It Did Five Years Ago
I Just Saw The Ugliest Bitch On Earth (Ode To Condoleeza)
You Thought St. Anger Was A Brilliant Comeback (You Suck At Life)
 
Thanks, guys! Some more:

You Mis-Labelled Your Mortgage Papers
I Made The Stock Market Crash Right After Your Shares Had Risen Considerably
You Started A Bible Study Group For Troubled Youth
You Invited Four Middle-Aged Women Over For Some Cheese And Red Wine To Talk About Prose, Plus You're A Woman Too
I Raped The Guy Who Raped Your Daughter
You Donated Several Millions To Charity
You Felt Empty Enside, So You Became Religious To Fill That Empty Space
You Are A Prominent Member Of Your Local Amateur Theatre Troupe
I Read "Mein Kampf" As A Bedside Story For The Kids When I Was Babysitting For My Neighbours
You Stayed Up All Night And Talked About Feelings With Your Friends At The Slumber Party
You Actually Believe Your Vote Counts In The Presidential Election
You Did Some Oil Painting, Drank Herbal Tee, And Wore A Knitted Sweater
You Became A Rabbi So That You Could Touch Small Jewish Boys' Male Organs During The Circumcision
I Sold An African Slave Through Ebay
 
You Spawncamped At de_aztec
You're A Singer/Songwriter
You Like Kids, Because They're So Full Of Life
I Overdosed On Gourmet Food In Front Of Starving Immigrants
You Ripped The Vinyl Edition Of Dawid Bowie's "Ziggy Stardust" Onto Your PC
You're Offended By Blasphemous Comments
You Started A Netcafé In Rio De Janeiro
I Intentionally Spilled Red Wine At Your Prada Dress
 
'cking hell, I should record some of the best of the Anal Cunt parody titles and add them to a bonus CD bundled with the upcoming Cripple Decapitation (my band) debut album, "Cripple Decapitation". Oh yes. Here are the tracks I've got so far:

- The King Of Antarctica
- Embraced By Fools
- Born In Afghanistan
- St. Anger Really Sucked
- Slaughtering The PUH
- Molesting The Lions (Lion is a slang word for a cripple)
- Feeding Lions To The Sharks
- Dethroned Lion King (Lifting The Royal One From The Throne)
- Kicking Out The AADs
- Summertime In Auschwitz
- The Art Of Decapitation
- My Self Portrait
- Enslaved By The Dark Vengeance Of The Crippled Enforcer "Narghan-Sulum"
- Cripple Decapitation
- The Pope Is A Cripple!
- Book Of Decapitation: Chapter Nine: Chainsaws And How To Use Them
- An Ode To The Pope
- My Letter To The Pope
- Stiff, Hard Tool
- Cripple Addiction
- Vital Information About The Pope

crippledecapart.jpg
 
Some lyrics (all lyrics by JOHN TRACTOR and BOAT DECAPITATÖRR).

Book Of Decapitation - Chapter Nine - Chainsaws And How To Use Them

§5.2: On cripples:

Preferably, go to a house where creatures such as cripples are gathered. Thou hast to use thy chainsaw without any mercy, for cripples are sly creatures. Thy goal should be to saw off both legs and a single arm to make them become harmless.


An Ode To The Pope

In Brussels they've got hats
In Bristol they make fancy mats
In London they've got cars
In Portugal, chocolate bars
In the Vatican, there's an old grey man
Sucking off every prieste he can
Old homophobic piece of shit
Decapitate him - bit by bit


The Pope is a Cripple!

The pope is a cripple
He has a third nipple
Molesting the choir boys
That is his only choice
Die fucking cripple, die!


My Self Portrait

Nose
Eyes
Hair
Mouth
And a big chainsaw to decapitate cripples with,
Limb for limb


Cripple Addiction

Drinking Otrivin,
Sniffing like dead Charleen,
Cocain on a straw
Doing cards - make a draw.

These are some addictions,
Mine is a cripple addiction.

Cripple killer is my name.
Fuck you


Embraced By Fools


A suitcase containing
The limbs of the craving
Cripples from the wilderness
Living in pointlessness

This is the mental imagery
That Lord Ottar conjurs
When sitting amidst the gay

Summoning the Wand + 1 vs. Cripples
Impaling their skulls,
Twitching at nipples

Embraced by fools
On his left there's a goose
In the center the suitcase
Of the fools that we hate
Decapitation, that is our fate.


Big, Stiff Tool

I holdt it carefully in my hand
A sign of power, you'll understand
The stiff large tool, it gives me joys
Erected, hard - it's my weapon of choice

I use it every day and night
Stiff, hard tool - it's a beautiful sight
A girl comes over, I want to slam her
Oh dear God, how I love my hammer!


My Letter To The Pope

Dear John,

How are you? I recently saw that you condemned the use of condoms. How very clever, I'm sure that'll help decreasing the spread of AIDS. And of course, your archaic, pro-life points of view; and following an ancient theology, is much more important than saving millions of lives from diseases.

Also, I'm glad that you still clench on to your anti-gay attitude. Gays are filthy sinners, not worthy of respect. After all, they aren't similar to us heteros. It's just a bit strange that a lot of Catholic priests enjoy the company of young boys - but I'm sure they have a reason.

Best regards,

Cripple Decapitation
 
I drive home drunk listening to R.E.M. then carry in my Agalloch, Hammers of Misfortune, and Kyuss CDs.
 
You Often Write Several Paragraphs About Shit Prog Bands On An Internet Forum (You're Gay)
You Knocked Up Lyndie England
Your Biggest Dream Is To Make The World A Better Place To Live In For All People
You Remembered You And Your Girlfriend's 1/2 Year Anniversary (You're Gay)
You Grew Tired Of Materialism And Converted To Buddhism (You're Gay)
You Read Jean-Paul Sartre On The Train (You're Gay)
I Planted The False Evidence That Eventually Led To The Execution Of Tookie
You Think Paying 50% Income Tax Is Perfectly OK Even Though You Never Get Anything In Return For Your Tax Money (You're Gay, And You're Also A Social Democrat)