This joke is really stupid but it somehow made me laugh

[xfer]

An English man, a French man and an American are all captured by Indians.

The chief says, "You all get one wish before we kill you and make canoes out of your skins."

The English man says, "I would like some tea."
So the chief brings him some tea, which he drinks elegantly, and then kills him.

The French man says, "I would like some wine." So the chief brings him some wine, which he drinks snootily, and then kills him.

The American says, "I would like a fork."
The chief says, "A fork? Why?"
"I`d just like a fork," says the American. So the chief shrugs and brings him a fork.

The American takes the fork and begins stabbing himself repeatedly, saying "Fuck your canoe! Fuck your canoe!"

 

[lizard]

that's so bad that its good!

 

[xfer]

i think SPITE is hilarious!

 

[lizard]

A small Wild Animal Park in Tennessee acquired a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks, the gorilla, who was a female, became very difficult to handle.

Upon examination, the park veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was in heat and to make matters worse, there was no male gorilla available.

Reflecting on their problem, the park administrator thought of Eddie Standen, a redneck part-time intern, who was responsible for cleaning the animals' cages. Eddie had little sense, but possessed ample ability to satisfy a female of any species.

The park administrator thought they might have a solution. Eddie was approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to have sex with the gorilla for $500? Eddie showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully.

The following day, Eddie announced that he would accept their offer, but only under the following four conditions.

"First," he said, "I don't want to have to kiss her on the lips." The park administrator quickly agreed to this condition.

"Second," Eddie said, "you must never tell anyone about this." The park administrator again readily agreed to this condition.

"Third," Eddie said, "I want all the offspring to be raised Southern Baptist." Once again the administrator agreed.

And last of all Eddie stated, "You've got to give me another week to come up with the $500."

 

[xfer]

hahah that joke is hilarious! i'm re-telling it.

 

[minxnim]

holy shit my dad will love that.

 

[avi]

both =

 

[lizard]

you guys remember this story??

Amish Arrested in Gang Drug Bust

by Amy Worden
Associated Press Writer

June 23, 1998

Philadelphia (AP) -- Two Amish men have been accused of buying cocaine from a motorcycle gang called the Pagans and then distributing it to young members of the conservative religious sect.

"Bikes and buggies, it's a rather strange combination," Pennsylvania State Police Maj. Robert Werts said of Tuesday's indictment of Abner Stoltzfus, 24, and Abner King Stoltzfus, 23. The men are not related.

Both men are members of the Old Order Amish, the most conservative Amish sect. The Amish eschew automobiles, electricity, computers, fancy clothes and most other modern conveniences. They use horse-driven buggies for transportation. There are about 20,000 Old Order Amish in Lancaster County, where the pair are from.

The indictment accuses the men of buying drugs from eight members of the Pagans between 1993 and 1997. The two would then distribute the cocaine to youth groups known as the Crickets, the Antiques and the Pilgrims at dances.

At a press conference Tuesday, authorities painted a picture of the motorcycle gang world, characterized by drugs and reckless behavior, colliding with the serene, traditional lifestyle of the Pennsylvania Amish.

"As far as I know we have never charged any (Amish) with drug crimes," said assistant states attorney Joseph Dominguez.

John Pyfer, who is representing Abner Stoltzfus, said the Amish are not immune to the pressures of modern society.

"People think the Amish are sheltered from the outside world, but the temptations are there," he said. "My client's parents are extremely conservative -- horse and buggy the whole bit. They're having a hard time understanding this."

At the time of their indictment, the two men were participating in a "timeout" period in which young Amish men and women explore the outside world and decide whether to join the church. Both men intended to join, their lawyers said.

If convicted of the charges, the pair face a maximum sentence of life in prison.

© Copyright 1998 The Associated Press

 

[AndICried]

Involuntary laughing

 

[xfer]

Tuesday's indictment of Abner Stoltzfus, 24, and Abner King Stoltzfus, 23. The men are not related.

 

[lizard]

I'm picturing them going on the lam in a buggie.

 

[lizard]

OMG Indie Workshop needs to hook up with these guys:
http://www.electricamish.com/