this news article is breathtakingly amazing for so SO many reasons.

[screwdriverqueen]

http://www.nettavisen.no/servlets/page?section=1706&item=275180

i'd copy and paste it here, but really, you need to see the entire page for the full effect.

some key words: SCULL, "Teacher Gard Solstad"

i'm actually at a loss for words, and i shed a little tear (the kind you shed when you see something especially beautiful)

 

[BigFakeSmile]

"I immediately saw that it was part of a scull" -- this is because he is CLEARLY metal as fuck

 

[lizard]

Gard Solstad looks like he fired up a spliff in the coat closet before heading out to check out the old gnarly bone.

 

[Ol' Dirty Bastard]

I see Charles Manson finally made parole.

 

[FuSoYa]

HAHAHAHA! I wish they showed a ful body shot of Gard, undoubtedly his hands would be teepeed; a motion shot of his fingertips dancing against one another!

 

[screwdriverqueen]

hahaha i can not stop looking at this and laughing, because undoubtedly, gard solstad uses this same exact facial expression when he's sexing someone up (and apparently, ALSO the same face he makes right after discovering a scull!)

no really.

stare at his face and imagine him doing it!

great results, i tell you.

also, toby - when you said that, my eyes scrolled down gard's digital picture, the same way you scroll down a computer screen, and for some reason! well this is very odd, but - i saw him wearing a pink ruffled pilgrim skirt that had the words "pilgrim" embroidered on the side!

holy shit, i think i need some sleep. :/

 

[FuSoYa]

I love how you copy/pasted gard solstad's name into that last post!

as if the font were especially important to exemplify his mannerisms.
PS, also he make sthe same face when he is CUTTING SOMEONE UP AND BURYING THEIR SCULL IN A SCHOOL PLAYGROUND.

He has been waiting for the day the children find it for probably 4 years.

 

[lizard]

Gard rules. he looks damn pleased with himself.

 

[avi]

the steve buscemi of norway!

 

[screwdriverqueen]

!

fuck, you're absolutely correct about teacher gard solstad having planted that scull in the playground.

!!

!!!

 

[xfer]

even funnier than looking at that picture of gard is picturing gard burying a scull in a playground WHILE SPEAKING NORWEGIAN.

 

[FuSoYa]

i would like to point out that in my post I also tried to copy/paste the name in, but for some reason the expository font didn't show up.

 

[screwdriverqueen]

gard solstad eats sculloped potatoes.

 

[FuSoYa]

Also wait, wtf... I think the real issue at hand is:

they were fucking digging for Harry Potter?

 

[xfer]

obviously you haven't yet read "Order of the Phoenix", which ends with Harry being abducted, molested, murdered, and dumped somewhere in Norway.

 

[screwdriverqueen]

the only explanation for the digging for harry potter thing that i can think of is that maybe this is a "special school" for "special kids."

 

[screwdriverqueen]

also!

keep in mind that these are lonely European kids weened on bad media-saavy fantasy books and geographically shitty cold weather.

this mean that they will either become:

a. black metal
b. scull diggerers

they chose the latter.

 

[screwdriverqueen]

diggerers?

no.

diggers.

 

[screwdriverqueen]

norway is an awesome country!

http://www.nettavisen.no/servlets/page?section=1706&item=275184

Comedian uses dead pig as boat
Av: Hanne Dankertsen [font=Arial,Helvetica]03. jul 09:27, ny 14:53[/font]

[font=Arial,Helvetica]Animal rights activists are furious after a Norwegian comedian attached an engine to a dead pig and used it a boat.[/font]

[font=Arial,Helvetica]The comedian, Kristopher Schau and his NRK radio show are entertaining the crowd at the Quart Festival at the moment, but their humour provokes parts of their audience Wednesday. The group of entertainers have tried blowing up rats and hamsters with helium to make what they called «organic balloons». The animals exploded and the remains were plashed at the audience. General manager of NRK, John G. Bernander, was present as this happened. [/font]

[font=Arial,Helvetica]Kyrre Holm Johannessen riding the pig.[/font][font=Arial,Helvetica](Photos: NRK)[/font][font=Arial,Helvetica]Engine on pig[/font]
[font=Arial,Helvetica]On Tuesday Schau and his colleagues attached an engine to a dead pig and used the animal as a boat. The pig was filled with floating materials before they attached the engine and put the “boat” at sea. «This is one of the greatest things I have ever seen», Schau said to the audience. Animal rights activists in Kristiansand are furious about the entertainment. «I feel angry but maybe most of all sad. I think it is terribly sad watching people being entertained by such a thing», said Ragnar Ommundsen. The Norwegian animal rights organisation sent a complaint to John G. Bernander yesterday and he promised to send them a reply. Schau said, «If they have problems with this, they should attack children who play with their food as well. I do hope someone makes a fleet out of me when I die». [/font]

 

[xfer]

awesome.