Translation, help :D

[Ling]

Well, that's my first post here and I think I should first say hi to everybody. So: hi everybody And now for sth different. I hope there's sb from Sweden who would like to help me I just want to know what Vintersorg is singing about in Till Fjälls and I tried to translate it to polish and I dunno if it's correct (I'm sure it's not ). So I translated it from polish to english and that's it:

"1. The bower from upper border of the forest blazes in reddish yellow shade
Autumn wakes up to pay life’s loan
The fabulous sight of steep verge suckles my thirsty soul
The stream above curls like a snake

2. Gloomy me aspire blindly uphill in the slow wind of twilight
Wide, great walls of the mountains that are a mighty cathedral
North strom in disguise of a ghost causes frost again
Where the cuts of a picture form a murky hall of the temple

Ref.:To the mountains, to the mountains where storm embraces me
To the mountains, to the mountains watching over truth

3. Towards the marvellous edges of rocks distinguishing from brotherly mountains
The top decorated with snow eliven alike and the tower
Abundance up, to the sky, when sun shines pleased
In impassable way's mark the horn filled with sounds

Ref.:To the mountains, to the mountains where storm embraces me
To the mountains, to the mountains watching over truth"

Some parts sounds really weird to me. Sorry for my english

 

[Alec Walter Conway]

I don't speak swedish but i once worked out a very basic translation of Till Fjälls, and this sounds roughly right. Only problems might be the expressions typical to swedish that would not be translated right by any means other than asking someone who knows.

The same way, when you say "I give up" you cant translate it word by word or it'll be something like "I give something to someone higher".

I do know you got the chorus right though.

 

[amf]

Hey and welcome!

You've got a lot of the translation right. But some expressions that cannot be directly translated, and words with several meanings seem to have caused some problems.

Looked through your translation, my comments in red.


1. The bower from upper border of the forest blazes in reddish yellow shade
Autumn wakes up to pay life’s loan
The fabulous sight of steep verge suckles my thirsty soul
The stream above curls like a snake Should be below, not above.

2. Gloomy me aspire blindly uphill in the slow wind of twilight You could translate "tung" with gloomy, but in the context of a gloomy mood or such. Here I think heavy is a better translation. Also, the sen- in "senskymningsblåsten" means that it's late in the evening, not that the evening wind is slow.
Wide, great walls of the mountains that are a mighty cathedral
North strom in disguise of a ghost causes frost again Although "andedräkt" becomes spirit-dress when translated literaly, the correct meaning is breath.
Where the cuts of a picture form a murky hall of the temple "Klippa" can mean cut, but the meaning cliff fits a mite better here.

Ref.:To the mountains, to the mountains where storm embraces me I'd say In Mountains is more accurate. -Var är han? (Where is he), - Han är till fjäls (He is in the mountains).
To the mountains, to the mountains watching over truth Ramm is an old word for raven.

3. Towards the marvellous edges of rocks distinguishing from brotherly mountains "Himlabrynet" literaly means the verge of the sky, i.e. the horizon.
The top decorated with snow eliven alike and the tower
Abundance up, to the sky, when sun shines pleased "Drängsol" actually means moon. Roughly means the sun of the farm hands.
In impassable way's mark the horn filled with sounds It's the horn of perfection (fulfilment), rather than a full horn.

Ref.:To the mountains, to the mountains where storm embraces me
To the mountains, to the mountains watching over truth"


Here's my translation, from mine and Mantis' translation website:

In Mountains

The tree border's bower blazes in orange nuance
Autumn awakens to repay life's loan
The fabulous sight of the steeps now nurses my thirsty soul
The river curls serpentlike below

Heavily I strive blindly upwards in the late evening wind
By mountain walls mighty like a huge cathedral
The nortern storm's breath rebirths the frost
Where the cliffs form the dark temple hall

In mountains, in mountains where storm embraces me
In mountains, in mountains watched by ravens
In mountains, in mountains, in mountains, in mountains

The mountains' brother heights stand out against the sky's edge
Snow adorned summits like pinnacles and towers
They state up towards the sky when moon shines content
In the pathless outland the horn of perfection sounds

In mountains, in mountains where storm embraces me
In mountains, in mountains watched by ravens
In mountains, in mountains, in mountains, in mountains

 

[Demonicbass]

The lyrics does sound a bit stupid in english^^ Its hard to make it 100% correct since its always different in different languags even if the words are translated correctly, also, id say At the mountains not in them=P

 

[FrostbittenGrimness]

I really don't think it sounds stupid in English..

 

[Ling]

Thanks guys Well, as I can see I did a lot of mistakes, but it's my first text translated from swedish and I don't speak this language at all so it's not bad, I think

 

[Demonicbass]

I really don't think it sounds stupid in English..

The words dont roll on aswell " In mountains, in mountains, where storm embraces me" if you see what imean. But, yes it seems pretty well translated