Yo.
This semester I am making a 10 minute film about a band... It is a comedy, sorta in the Spinal Tap mould.
If ya's have the time, please give it a read, and tell me what you think. Any suggestions or anything will be appreciated
Thanks.
ROCKSTARS - A short Film Treatment by Paul Sommer
Text appears on screen: Weiner Records are on the lookout for new bands to sign to their label. They have sent documentary crews to thousands of locations across Australia in search of a band in need of their big break. To prove their worth, bands must audition for the Record Company to show them they have what it takes to make it in the music industry. This is the story of one of those bands: SCORCHED EARTH.
Open with SCORCHED EARTH jamming in a garage. As we pan across the band, we get introduced to each individual. There is DAVE, the lead guitarist and chief songwriter. DAVE is the brains of the band, which doesnt say much for the rest of the members. Next is DAVES best friend DAN, lead singer. DAN is somewhat naïve, and has a problem resisting the temptations of alcohol. TIM is the bass player, who is suspected of being gay. Although he does not know it, the other band members have their suspicions. DYLAN is the final member of the band, and plays drums. DYLAN is only known to have said one word to the other members of the band the whole time that they have been together. DYLAN keeps to himself, and just gets on with playing the drums. He has a deep infatuation for women.
As the song comes to a halt, we go to an interview-taking place with DAVE and DAN. DAN is drinking a bottle of beer, and DAVE is casually playing his guitar, seemingly oblivious that he is being interviewed. The interviewer, MIKE, asks how the band started. DAVE responds by telling him how he and DAN lived on the same street, and that every afternoon without fail, they used to get together and practice for hours on end, hoping that some day they would make a career out of it.
Cut to old footage of 2 young boys, DAVE and DAN, playing table tennis in an old garage. The competition is fierce, but both boys struggle to hit the ball across the net. As we cut back to the interview-taking place, DAN informs MIKE that unfortunately neither were very good at Ping Pong, so they took up music instead.
MIKE asks how they met the rest of the band, and DAVE tells him that there is a funny story to that. DAN is smiling and nodding his head, signaling that there is a funny story about to be told. We cut to a shot of a DYLAN sitting at a bus stop. He has a backback, and there are drum sticks poking out the top. DAN and DAVE walk up, and notice the drumsticks in his bag. DAN asks if he plays the drums, and DYLAN replies saying Yeah. There is a bit of a pregnant pause before we cut back to the interview. DAN and Dave are sitting there laughing, and we see a shot of MIKE. He is waiting for them to finish the story, as he doesnt see the humour. MIKE eventually realizes that there is no more to the story, and gives in to the laughter so as to not make DAN and DAVE feel bad. DYLAN has been our drummer ever since that day. He doesnt say much. He expresses himself through his drum kit.
Cut to a shot of the band sitting around the garage. DAN asks DYLAN if he would like a drink. DYLAN responds by hitting his snare drum. DAN knows that this means a yes, so he throws him a can of beer.
DAN tells the interviewer that they thought it was weird that his name was DYLAN, because that then made three of them in the band that had names starting with the letter D. He and DAVE had actually had the conversation about finding a bass player whos name was something like DWAYNE or DICK, then it would be fate, and that they would be destined to make it big in the music industry. DAVE continues that when they met TIM, and found out that he was a bass player, they just knew that is was meant to be. MIKE has a perplexed look on his face. He knows that TIM starts with the letter T, and not D. MIKE tells the guys that TIM starts with a T. DAVE responds, telling him that they realise that, but he asks MIKE what letter rhymes with T. MIKE toys with the 2, and offers the letters P and B. DAVE and DAN become frustrated, and interrupt screaming out the letter D. By now, MIKE is really puzzled by the way that they think, and tells them sarcastically that it was real twilight zone material. MIKE roles his eyes at the stupidity of DAN and DAVE. DAVE adds that it is great having TIM around all the time, as he is always in the kitchen baking them a snack.
Cut to TIM in the kitchen baking cup cakes. He tells the camera that cooking is his way of releasing stress. He pulls the cup cakes out of the oven, and they are burnt. He takes off his mittens, throws them on the bench, and throws a minor tantrum.
Cut to interview with DAVE, DAN and TIM. MIKE asks them how they came up with the name SCORCHED EARTH. DAVE embarks upon a lengthy explanation about how precious the earth is, and if we are not careful, it will become scorched and it is up to us to preserve its beauty. When he finishes talking, TIM places his hand on DAVES Knee, and tells him that he thought that what he just said was lovely and heartfelt. DAVE feels a little awkward with TIMS hand on his knee, so he adds something crude to get him to move it.
MIKE asks the 3 band members about their influences. DAVE and DAN start rattling off names of bands such as LED ZEPPELIN, PEARL JAM, and BLACK SABBATH etc. Every now and then DYLAN will pop up with the name of a flamboyant performer such as ELTON JOHN, ABBA, and THE VILLAGE PEOPLE. DAVE and DAN both roll their eyes behind TIMS back when he mentions THE VILLAGE PEOPLE.
MIKE gets the interview back on track, and asks them how they draw inspiration from their influences. DAVE explains that there is a pre-conception that people class them as strictly a metal band, but they are so much more than that. He continues that they are more like a metally, punky, disco pop, Jazz, Funk type band with a twist of Dance.
MIKE responds, by asking if DAVE is saying that their music covers a wide range of genres? DAN butts in and says emphatically that No, that is not what we are saying at all. What we are saying is we play all different types of music. DAVE and TIM are both nodding there heads agreeing to what DAN has said. All 3 of them are totally oblivious to the fact that DAN said exactly the same thing that MIKE had said. MIKE again quips up with a sarcastic comment to put the band members in their place, but of course it completely goes over their heads.
DAN explains to MIKE that their case is similar to the band KISS. He tells that KISS is classed as a hard rock band, but he adds that that is a classic media misconception. DAN tells MIKE that KISS is more of a punk band in the mould of the SEX PISTOLS. MIKE is confused, and asks DAN to explain his comments. DAN explains that KISS writes lyrics that are very political. MIKE again begins to make fun of DANS ignorance, and starts reciting KISS lyrics like Baby lets put the X in SEX and Lick it up. DAN replies telling him that is exactly what he means. DAN thinks that MIKE has gotten his point, but MIKE is simply making fun of him. MIKE asks DAN how those lyrics are political, and DAN is stumped. He fumbles around for an answer for a while, and then in a sudden change of subject he yells out Holy Shit and points to behind the camera. The camera turns to where he pointed to see what the commotion was. When the camera sees that there is nothing there, it cuts back to where the interview is taking place, and we see DAN scurrying off in the background. He had changed the subject to avoid answering the Question.
Now it is just DAVE and TIM being interviewed. DAN is in the background fixing himself a drink. MIKE asks how the new song that they just finished recording came about. DAVE tells MIKE that the biggest problem that SCORCHED EARTH have is that they cannot get exposure. He is confident that if they were discovered, then they would make it big. Dave continues to tell MIKE that the BEATLES wrote the song LOVE ME DO, and after that, the world went crazy and fell in love with them. DAVE thinks that if SCORCHED EARTH used a similar marketing strategy and wrote a song called LOVE MY SONGS DO, then people would fall in love with their music.
Cut to live footage of the band playing LOVE MY SONGS DO. This song is a complete rip off of the Beatles hit, but the band is not aware of it.
Cut back to the interview. They are still on the topic of exposure. TIM tells MIKE that BRITNEY SPEARS gets exposure by telling shocking personal secrets such as she is a virgin. DAVE adds that the band have absolutely no respect for BRITNEY SPEARS or her music. We think its garbage to tell you the truth. TIM says that maybe he should hold a press conference and tell the world something ridiculous like he is gay. TIM proceeds to laugh his head off, as he thinks that what he has just said is absurd, but DAVE is just sitting there rolling his eyes, and thinking to himself that TIM really is gay.
DAN returns from the kitchen, and has left it a mess. Upon his return, TIM gets up, and goes over to clean up after DAN. MIKE asks the 2 about their perception of drug taking, because he feels that bands are very influential to their fans, and what they do directly affects the fans. As MIKE finished his question, we cut to DAN and DAVE. DAN has a can of bourbon in his hand and is drinking it, and DAVE is preparing to light a cigarette. When they realise the question that MIKE has just asked, the try to conceal the drugs that they are taking. DAN tries to cover the can of bourbon with his hand, and DAVE throws the packet of cigarettes behind him. DAVE then tells MIKE that SCORCHED EARTH is a totally drug free band, and they have never touched a drug in their lives. DAN is nodding in agreement with DAVES comments. DAVE continues that it is all about the music. Meanwhile in the background, TIM has finished cleaning the kitchen and walks over to the interview. He notices the packet of smokes that DAVE has thrown on the ground and picks them up. TIM walks over to DAVE and tries to give him his cigarettes. DAVE refuses, saying that they are not his. Of course they are, but he is saying they are not for the benefit of the camera. TIM does not catch on, and insists that they are indeed DAVES smokes. This goes on for some time, before DAVE finally gives up and snatches the smokes out of TIMS hands. TIM sits down.
DAN quickly changes the subject and gets back to talking about music. He explains that SCORCHED EARTH is a band that likes to keep up to date with the latest musical gadgetry and technology. DAVE adds that often the band will incorporate the latest technology into their songs, whether it be through the chorus, or sometimes even through the solo.
Cut to the band playing a song. As they get to the solo section, DAVE stops playing his guitar and holds a mobile phone up to the microphone. The phone has a preset customized ring tone, and that is the solo. This is SCORCHED EARTHS idea of keeping up to date with musical technology.
MIKE asks the band who writes the majority of the music. DAN responds by telling MIKE that he usually goes over to DAVES house and the 2 of them bounce ideas off of each other until .. Upon hearing this, DAVE interrupts, and tells MIKE his version of the story. He explains that what DAN has said is not entirely true. He continues that the only bouncing that DAN does is when his head hits the floor after he passes out from the 2 bottles of bourbon that he drinks. DAVE explains that time after time DAN wakes up from a drunken slumber the next morning, and DAVE has written a great song, but he just tells DAN that they both wrote it so as to not hurt his feelings. DAVE says that he honestly thought that DAN would have caught on the day that they wrote the song DAN LIFT YOUR HEAD FROM THAT PUDDLE OF VOMIT
Cut to footage of DAVE playing guitar and singing Dan lift your head, from that puddle of vomit. And get your ass up here, to help me write some music. Were supposed to be a team, so why dont you stop fucking leaching off me! This song is done in the style of a ballard.
Cut back to the interview. It is painfully obvious that this song is about DAN, but DAN has no idea, and says to DAVE that he thought that song was about DAN McNAMARA from school.
Cut to an interview with a young Asian girl FUKU YOUNO. FUKU is a groupie. There will be text at the bottom of the screen that establishes this. FUKU talks about how she has a deep spiritual connection with SCORCHED EARTH, and that their songs inspire her. She goes on to explain that it is all about the music with her. While she is talking we cut to footage of FUKU outside the house where the band is rehearsing. She is trying to peek through the window to get a glimpse of the band. Cut back to interview. FUKU says that the band really enjoy having her around. Cut to footage of DAVE walking past FUKU. FUKU screams out to DAVE saying hello. DAVE looks at FUKU and tells her to Fuck Off! FUKU continues with her interview. Dylan walks past. When FUKU sees DYLAN, her voice trembles, and she yells at DYLAN to come over and sit with her. DYLAN sits next to FUKU. MIKE says hello to DYLAN. It is obvious that he is uncomfortable being around him. DYLAN doesnt offer any conversation. MIKE awkwardly says that the producer needs to see him, and walks off. As MIKE walks off, the camera follows him, and we hear MIKE cursing under his breath that DYLAN is an egotistical asshole.
Cut to a new shot. The camera is shaking. All of a sudden, we see DAVEs face. He has stolen the documentary crews camera, and is filming himelf. He tells the camera that he is about to embark on a journey like no other, and that he is really quite scared. DAVE walks over to a door. It is a bathroom door. We can hear a shower running. DAVE quickly opens the door, and we see that there is somebody having a shower. DAVE focuss on the shower, and as he does, we hear that the person in the shower is singing BRITNEY SPEARSS OOPS I DID IT AGAIN. DAVE is laughing out loud. The shower stops, and the shower door opens. It is DAN in the shower. He is still singing, unaware that DAVE is filming him. As DAN turns around and sees that he is being filmed, he tells DAVE to Fuck Off, all the while trying to cover his naked body.
Cut to MIKE sitting with DAVE, TIM, and DYLAN. They are waiting for DAN to join them so that they can commence an interview MIKE asks where DAN is, and DAVE tells him that he just got out of the shower, and he will be there soon. Shortly after, DAN walks over to the interview. As he does, TIM and DAVE start singing OOPS I DID IT AGAIN. DAN says that they are very funny. DAN sits down. MIKE informs the band that their audition is tomorrow, and asks them what song they intend to perform. DAVE informs MIKE that it is a secret, and that to find out, he will have to wait until tomorrow. MIKE tells them sarcastically that he can barely contain his eagerness. MIKE then asks the band what they think their chances of winning the competition realistically is. DAVE starts to give an answer, but is interrupted by TIM. TIM says that if the others dont mind, that he would like to answer this question. TIM says that he thinks that SCORCHED EARTH have a great chance of winning because he feels that they are so dedicated and that the 4 of them have a deep chemistry that cannot be broken. He continues to say that he really believes in the other 3 guys, and that there is almost like a brotherhood amongst them. DAN adds to the conversation, and tells MIKE that their music is better than it sounds.
Cut to the day of the audition. DAVE, DAN and TIM all arrive at DYLANS house to pick him up to go the their audition. DAN knocks on the door. The 3 are clearly excited. They have been waiting for this day to arrive for months. There is no answer at DYLANS house. DAN knocks again, and DAVE yells out to see if he is home. Still no answer. DAVE opens then door and slowly walks in, yelling out for DYLAN to see where he is. TIM notices a note on the table, and informs the others about it. DAVE grabs the note. It is a note from FUKU saying that she and DYLAN have eloped to Newcastle and dont intend on coming back. DAN, DAVE and TIM are shocked. They cant believe that DYLAN has gone, especially on their most important day. DAVE says that he cant believe DYLAN has gone. DAN says that he will miss the way he DAN cant finish the sentence as he is trying to think of what he will miss about DYLAN. DAVE adds that he used to do that thing with the DAVE too cannot finish the sentence. They realise that they really didnt know anything about DYLAN at all. The band is in turmoil. They need DYLAN for the audition. They all start to panic, and tempers start to ignite. The band exit DYLANS house and go to the bus stop to catch a bus to the audition.
Cut to interior of a bus. The 3 band members are all silent. They have no drummer, and their audition is in 10 minutes. Suddenly, a big smile appears on DAVES face. He sees a guy at the front of the bus with a backpack. In the backpack is a set of drumsticks. DAVE approaches the guy and asks him if he plays the drums. The guy responds, telling DAVE that he does, and that he has been playing for many years. He continues that his father taught his to play when he was a child, and he has been playing ever since. This is in stark contrast to DYLAN, who only ever said one word to the band!
Cut to backstage at the audition. DAVE, DAN and TIM go through the final details of the song with the new drummer, before a voice over the P.A system interrupts them SCORCHED EARTH please make your way out to the audition floor. Now was their time.
The band walk out and greet the judges. The new drummer counts them in, and they begin to play. After only about 2 bars of the song, before DAN even gets the chance to sing, the Judges yell for them to stop, and scream out Next!.
The band exits the floor, and head backstage. They are all upset, but the resign to the fact that the chemistry in the band had been broken by the disappearance of DYLAN. They conclude that maybe this was destinys way of telling them that they werent meant to be rock stars.
DAN and DAVE are both clearly upset. TIM walks over to them, and offers words of encouragement, and thanked them for the opportunity to play with them. DAVE tells the camera that This is the end of SCORCHED EARTH.
Fade to Black. Fade in to a shot of DYLAN and FUKU with their kids. Text appears at the bottom of the screen. It reads: DYLAN and FUKU remain happily married with 2 kids, JULIAN and SEAN. Fade out. Fade in to a shot of TIM cooking. Text appears. It reads: TIM started a home cooking show for cable television, and finally perfected his blueberry muffins. Fade out. Fade in to a shot of DAN. Text appears. It reads: DAN had a close call when he almost chocked on his own vomit. HE admitted himself into re-hab, and is now giving speeches to high schools about the dangers of alcohol. Fade to Black. Fade in to a shot of DAVE playing guitar. Text appears. It reads: DAVE is making a killing off of busking on the local street corner. He remains optimistic that he will make it big in the music industry one day. Fade to black.
Credits.
This semester I am making a 10 minute film about a band... It is a comedy, sorta in the Spinal Tap mould.
If ya's have the time, please give it a read, and tell me what you think. Any suggestions or anything will be appreciated
Thanks.
ROCKSTARS - A short Film Treatment by Paul Sommer
Text appears on screen: Weiner Records are on the lookout for new bands to sign to their label. They have sent documentary crews to thousands of locations across Australia in search of a band in need of their big break. To prove their worth, bands must audition for the Record Company to show them they have what it takes to make it in the music industry. This is the story of one of those bands: SCORCHED EARTH.
Open with SCORCHED EARTH jamming in a garage. As we pan across the band, we get introduced to each individual. There is DAVE, the lead guitarist and chief songwriter. DAVE is the brains of the band, which doesnt say much for the rest of the members. Next is DAVES best friend DAN, lead singer. DAN is somewhat naïve, and has a problem resisting the temptations of alcohol. TIM is the bass player, who is suspected of being gay. Although he does not know it, the other band members have their suspicions. DYLAN is the final member of the band, and plays drums. DYLAN is only known to have said one word to the other members of the band the whole time that they have been together. DYLAN keeps to himself, and just gets on with playing the drums. He has a deep infatuation for women.
As the song comes to a halt, we go to an interview-taking place with DAVE and DAN. DAN is drinking a bottle of beer, and DAVE is casually playing his guitar, seemingly oblivious that he is being interviewed. The interviewer, MIKE, asks how the band started. DAVE responds by telling him how he and DAN lived on the same street, and that every afternoon without fail, they used to get together and practice for hours on end, hoping that some day they would make a career out of it.
Cut to old footage of 2 young boys, DAVE and DAN, playing table tennis in an old garage. The competition is fierce, but both boys struggle to hit the ball across the net. As we cut back to the interview-taking place, DAN informs MIKE that unfortunately neither were very good at Ping Pong, so they took up music instead.
MIKE asks how they met the rest of the band, and DAVE tells him that there is a funny story to that. DAN is smiling and nodding his head, signaling that there is a funny story about to be told. We cut to a shot of a DYLAN sitting at a bus stop. He has a backback, and there are drum sticks poking out the top. DAN and DAVE walk up, and notice the drumsticks in his bag. DAN asks if he plays the drums, and DYLAN replies saying Yeah. There is a bit of a pregnant pause before we cut back to the interview. DAN and Dave are sitting there laughing, and we see a shot of MIKE. He is waiting for them to finish the story, as he doesnt see the humour. MIKE eventually realizes that there is no more to the story, and gives in to the laughter so as to not make DAN and DAVE feel bad. DYLAN has been our drummer ever since that day. He doesnt say much. He expresses himself through his drum kit.
Cut to a shot of the band sitting around the garage. DAN asks DYLAN if he would like a drink. DYLAN responds by hitting his snare drum. DAN knows that this means a yes, so he throws him a can of beer.
DAN tells the interviewer that they thought it was weird that his name was DYLAN, because that then made three of them in the band that had names starting with the letter D. He and DAVE had actually had the conversation about finding a bass player whos name was something like DWAYNE or DICK, then it would be fate, and that they would be destined to make it big in the music industry. DAVE continues that when they met TIM, and found out that he was a bass player, they just knew that is was meant to be. MIKE has a perplexed look on his face. He knows that TIM starts with the letter T, and not D. MIKE tells the guys that TIM starts with a T. DAVE responds, telling him that they realise that, but he asks MIKE what letter rhymes with T. MIKE toys with the 2, and offers the letters P and B. DAVE and DAN become frustrated, and interrupt screaming out the letter D. By now, MIKE is really puzzled by the way that they think, and tells them sarcastically that it was real twilight zone material. MIKE roles his eyes at the stupidity of DAN and DAVE. DAVE adds that it is great having TIM around all the time, as he is always in the kitchen baking them a snack.
Cut to TIM in the kitchen baking cup cakes. He tells the camera that cooking is his way of releasing stress. He pulls the cup cakes out of the oven, and they are burnt. He takes off his mittens, throws them on the bench, and throws a minor tantrum.
Cut to interview with DAVE, DAN and TIM. MIKE asks them how they came up with the name SCORCHED EARTH. DAVE embarks upon a lengthy explanation about how precious the earth is, and if we are not careful, it will become scorched and it is up to us to preserve its beauty. When he finishes talking, TIM places his hand on DAVES Knee, and tells him that he thought that what he just said was lovely and heartfelt. DAVE feels a little awkward with TIMS hand on his knee, so he adds something crude to get him to move it.
MIKE asks the 3 band members about their influences. DAVE and DAN start rattling off names of bands such as LED ZEPPELIN, PEARL JAM, and BLACK SABBATH etc. Every now and then DYLAN will pop up with the name of a flamboyant performer such as ELTON JOHN, ABBA, and THE VILLAGE PEOPLE. DAVE and DAN both roll their eyes behind TIMS back when he mentions THE VILLAGE PEOPLE.
MIKE gets the interview back on track, and asks them how they draw inspiration from their influences. DAVE explains that there is a pre-conception that people class them as strictly a metal band, but they are so much more than that. He continues that they are more like a metally, punky, disco pop, Jazz, Funk type band with a twist of Dance.
MIKE responds, by asking if DAVE is saying that their music covers a wide range of genres? DAN butts in and says emphatically that No, that is not what we are saying at all. What we are saying is we play all different types of music. DAVE and TIM are both nodding there heads agreeing to what DAN has said. All 3 of them are totally oblivious to the fact that DAN said exactly the same thing that MIKE had said. MIKE again quips up with a sarcastic comment to put the band members in their place, but of course it completely goes over their heads.
DAN explains to MIKE that their case is similar to the band KISS. He tells that KISS is classed as a hard rock band, but he adds that that is a classic media misconception. DAN tells MIKE that KISS is more of a punk band in the mould of the SEX PISTOLS. MIKE is confused, and asks DAN to explain his comments. DAN explains that KISS writes lyrics that are very political. MIKE again begins to make fun of DANS ignorance, and starts reciting KISS lyrics like Baby lets put the X in SEX and Lick it up. DAN replies telling him that is exactly what he means. DAN thinks that MIKE has gotten his point, but MIKE is simply making fun of him. MIKE asks DAN how those lyrics are political, and DAN is stumped. He fumbles around for an answer for a while, and then in a sudden change of subject he yells out Holy Shit and points to behind the camera. The camera turns to where he pointed to see what the commotion was. When the camera sees that there is nothing there, it cuts back to where the interview is taking place, and we see DAN scurrying off in the background. He had changed the subject to avoid answering the Question.
Now it is just DAVE and TIM being interviewed. DAN is in the background fixing himself a drink. MIKE asks how the new song that they just finished recording came about. DAVE tells MIKE that the biggest problem that SCORCHED EARTH have is that they cannot get exposure. He is confident that if they were discovered, then they would make it big. Dave continues to tell MIKE that the BEATLES wrote the song LOVE ME DO, and after that, the world went crazy and fell in love with them. DAVE thinks that if SCORCHED EARTH used a similar marketing strategy and wrote a song called LOVE MY SONGS DO, then people would fall in love with their music.
Cut to live footage of the band playing LOVE MY SONGS DO. This song is a complete rip off of the Beatles hit, but the band is not aware of it.
Cut back to the interview. They are still on the topic of exposure. TIM tells MIKE that BRITNEY SPEARS gets exposure by telling shocking personal secrets such as she is a virgin. DAVE adds that the band have absolutely no respect for BRITNEY SPEARS or her music. We think its garbage to tell you the truth. TIM says that maybe he should hold a press conference and tell the world something ridiculous like he is gay. TIM proceeds to laugh his head off, as he thinks that what he has just said is absurd, but DAVE is just sitting there rolling his eyes, and thinking to himself that TIM really is gay.
DAN returns from the kitchen, and has left it a mess. Upon his return, TIM gets up, and goes over to clean up after DAN. MIKE asks the 2 about their perception of drug taking, because he feels that bands are very influential to their fans, and what they do directly affects the fans. As MIKE finished his question, we cut to DAN and DAVE. DAN has a can of bourbon in his hand and is drinking it, and DAVE is preparing to light a cigarette. When they realise the question that MIKE has just asked, the try to conceal the drugs that they are taking. DAN tries to cover the can of bourbon with his hand, and DAVE throws the packet of cigarettes behind him. DAVE then tells MIKE that SCORCHED EARTH is a totally drug free band, and they have never touched a drug in their lives. DAN is nodding in agreement with DAVES comments. DAVE continues that it is all about the music. Meanwhile in the background, TIM has finished cleaning the kitchen and walks over to the interview. He notices the packet of smokes that DAVE has thrown on the ground and picks them up. TIM walks over to DAVE and tries to give him his cigarettes. DAVE refuses, saying that they are not his. Of course they are, but he is saying they are not for the benefit of the camera. TIM does not catch on, and insists that they are indeed DAVES smokes. This goes on for some time, before DAVE finally gives up and snatches the smokes out of TIMS hands. TIM sits down.
DAN quickly changes the subject and gets back to talking about music. He explains that SCORCHED EARTH is a band that likes to keep up to date with the latest musical gadgetry and technology. DAVE adds that often the band will incorporate the latest technology into their songs, whether it be through the chorus, or sometimes even through the solo.
Cut to the band playing a song. As they get to the solo section, DAVE stops playing his guitar and holds a mobile phone up to the microphone. The phone has a preset customized ring tone, and that is the solo. This is SCORCHED EARTHS idea of keeping up to date with musical technology.
MIKE asks the band who writes the majority of the music. DAN responds by telling MIKE that he usually goes over to DAVES house and the 2 of them bounce ideas off of each other until .. Upon hearing this, DAVE interrupts, and tells MIKE his version of the story. He explains that what DAN has said is not entirely true. He continues that the only bouncing that DAN does is when his head hits the floor after he passes out from the 2 bottles of bourbon that he drinks. DAVE explains that time after time DAN wakes up from a drunken slumber the next morning, and DAVE has written a great song, but he just tells DAN that they both wrote it so as to not hurt his feelings. DAVE says that he honestly thought that DAN would have caught on the day that they wrote the song DAN LIFT YOUR HEAD FROM THAT PUDDLE OF VOMIT
Cut to footage of DAVE playing guitar and singing Dan lift your head, from that puddle of vomit. And get your ass up here, to help me write some music. Were supposed to be a team, so why dont you stop fucking leaching off me! This song is done in the style of a ballard.
Cut back to the interview. It is painfully obvious that this song is about DAN, but DAN has no idea, and says to DAVE that he thought that song was about DAN McNAMARA from school.
Cut to an interview with a young Asian girl FUKU YOUNO. FUKU is a groupie. There will be text at the bottom of the screen that establishes this. FUKU talks about how she has a deep spiritual connection with SCORCHED EARTH, and that their songs inspire her. She goes on to explain that it is all about the music with her. While she is talking we cut to footage of FUKU outside the house where the band is rehearsing. She is trying to peek through the window to get a glimpse of the band. Cut back to interview. FUKU says that the band really enjoy having her around. Cut to footage of DAVE walking past FUKU. FUKU screams out to DAVE saying hello. DAVE looks at FUKU and tells her to Fuck Off! FUKU continues with her interview. Dylan walks past. When FUKU sees DYLAN, her voice trembles, and she yells at DYLAN to come over and sit with her. DYLAN sits next to FUKU. MIKE says hello to DYLAN. It is obvious that he is uncomfortable being around him. DYLAN doesnt offer any conversation. MIKE awkwardly says that the producer needs to see him, and walks off. As MIKE walks off, the camera follows him, and we hear MIKE cursing under his breath that DYLAN is an egotistical asshole.
Cut to a new shot. The camera is shaking. All of a sudden, we see DAVEs face. He has stolen the documentary crews camera, and is filming himelf. He tells the camera that he is about to embark on a journey like no other, and that he is really quite scared. DAVE walks over to a door. It is a bathroom door. We can hear a shower running. DAVE quickly opens the door, and we see that there is somebody having a shower. DAVE focuss on the shower, and as he does, we hear that the person in the shower is singing BRITNEY SPEARSS OOPS I DID IT AGAIN. DAVE is laughing out loud. The shower stops, and the shower door opens. It is DAN in the shower. He is still singing, unaware that DAVE is filming him. As DAN turns around and sees that he is being filmed, he tells DAVE to Fuck Off, all the while trying to cover his naked body.
Cut to MIKE sitting with DAVE, TIM, and DYLAN. They are waiting for DAN to join them so that they can commence an interview MIKE asks where DAN is, and DAVE tells him that he just got out of the shower, and he will be there soon. Shortly after, DAN walks over to the interview. As he does, TIM and DAVE start singing OOPS I DID IT AGAIN. DAN says that they are very funny. DAN sits down. MIKE informs the band that their audition is tomorrow, and asks them what song they intend to perform. DAVE informs MIKE that it is a secret, and that to find out, he will have to wait until tomorrow. MIKE tells them sarcastically that he can barely contain his eagerness. MIKE then asks the band what they think their chances of winning the competition realistically is. DAVE starts to give an answer, but is interrupted by TIM. TIM says that if the others dont mind, that he would like to answer this question. TIM says that he thinks that SCORCHED EARTH have a great chance of winning because he feels that they are so dedicated and that the 4 of them have a deep chemistry that cannot be broken. He continues to say that he really believes in the other 3 guys, and that there is almost like a brotherhood amongst them. DAN adds to the conversation, and tells MIKE that their music is better than it sounds.
Cut to the day of the audition. DAVE, DAN and TIM all arrive at DYLANS house to pick him up to go the their audition. DAN knocks on the door. The 3 are clearly excited. They have been waiting for this day to arrive for months. There is no answer at DYLANS house. DAN knocks again, and DAVE yells out to see if he is home. Still no answer. DAVE opens then door and slowly walks in, yelling out for DYLAN to see where he is. TIM notices a note on the table, and informs the others about it. DAVE grabs the note. It is a note from FUKU saying that she and DYLAN have eloped to Newcastle and dont intend on coming back. DAN, DAVE and TIM are shocked. They cant believe that DYLAN has gone, especially on their most important day. DAVE says that he cant believe DYLAN has gone. DAN says that he will miss the way he DAN cant finish the sentence as he is trying to think of what he will miss about DYLAN. DAVE adds that he used to do that thing with the DAVE too cannot finish the sentence. They realise that they really didnt know anything about DYLAN at all. The band is in turmoil. They need DYLAN for the audition. They all start to panic, and tempers start to ignite. The band exit DYLANS house and go to the bus stop to catch a bus to the audition.
Cut to interior of a bus. The 3 band members are all silent. They have no drummer, and their audition is in 10 minutes. Suddenly, a big smile appears on DAVES face. He sees a guy at the front of the bus with a backpack. In the backpack is a set of drumsticks. DAVE approaches the guy and asks him if he plays the drums. The guy responds, telling DAVE that he does, and that he has been playing for many years. He continues that his father taught his to play when he was a child, and he has been playing ever since. This is in stark contrast to DYLAN, who only ever said one word to the band!
Cut to backstage at the audition. DAVE, DAN and TIM go through the final details of the song with the new drummer, before a voice over the P.A system interrupts them SCORCHED EARTH please make your way out to the audition floor. Now was their time.
The band walk out and greet the judges. The new drummer counts them in, and they begin to play. After only about 2 bars of the song, before DAN even gets the chance to sing, the Judges yell for them to stop, and scream out Next!.
The band exits the floor, and head backstage. They are all upset, but the resign to the fact that the chemistry in the band had been broken by the disappearance of DYLAN. They conclude that maybe this was destinys way of telling them that they werent meant to be rock stars.
DAN and DAVE are both clearly upset. TIM walks over to them, and offers words of encouragement, and thanked them for the opportunity to play with them. DAVE tells the camera that This is the end of SCORCHED EARTH.
Fade to Black. Fade in to a shot of DYLAN and FUKU with their kids. Text appears at the bottom of the screen. It reads: DYLAN and FUKU remain happily married with 2 kids, JULIAN and SEAN. Fade out. Fade in to a shot of TIM cooking. Text appears. It reads: TIM started a home cooking show for cable television, and finally perfected his blueberry muffins. Fade out. Fade in to a shot of DAN. Text appears. It reads: DAN had a close call when he almost chocked on his own vomit. HE admitted himself into re-hab, and is now giving speeches to high schools about the dangers of alcohol. Fade to Black. Fade in to a shot of DAVE playing guitar. Text appears. It reads: DAVE is making a killing off of busking on the local street corner. He remains optimistic that he will make it big in the music industry one day. Fade to black.
Credits.
