what to do

[scorpio01169]

ok heres my problem....the members of my old band and i decided that we are going to get back together just to record an album that we were working on before we split back in 1992. heres the problem... our drummer from back then hasnt been behind a drumset in 15 years and i've told him that it was gonna be hard because he has since then had back surgery and hes gain some weight from drinking alot.....well when we got to the rehearsal place this Saturday to practice for the first time in 15 years not only was he outa shape, he was drunk and high. he couldnt even get past the first 6 bars of a song. he's one of my very best friends in the world but how do i tell him it's not gonna work because he's gotta a drinking problem and he's outa shape and he's only gonna hold us back. he wants so bad to be a part of this but you guys know just as well as i do a grown man with a drinking problem aint gonna change.....what to do...what to do.

 

[nwright]

If he was/is truly one of your best friends, wouldn't you have known he was an alcoholic and/or drug addict long before the band reunion? Wouldn't you have tried to help your friend for his own sake over the band's anyway?

Your post reads like you are bummed the dude could holdyou back more so than "one of your best friends in the world" is facing an extremely aggressive addiction.

Not hating, just stating!

 

[Jarkko Mattheiszen]

Have the whole band gather around and tell him things the way they are. Don't be a dick, but be straight and tell him things aren't gonna work if he keeps drinking. I know these kind of things should be all about supporting and comforting the guy, but from what I've seen and experienced, you gotta let him have it straight up and THEN give him all the support you can if he manages to realize that it's gotta stop.

 

[Jarkko Mattheiszen]

Its very simple.
Record his drums separately from other instruments-and,after that-change them with a Superior or something like this,but-tells nothing about that to him.
Try,make this computer drums sounding as close,as you can get-to real playing style of your friend,and-voila!
All of you happy.

Ha, this reminds me of a demo band I heard a couple of years back.

They showed me their new demo, and after a while of listening I commented on the drums sounding way too lifeless and programmed. The guitarist told me that was because they had triggered the whole kit and edited every hit into place. The drummer chimed in saying "yeah, I told you guys we shouldn't trigger the drums!"

Later the guitarist told me in private that they had actually programmed the drums from scratch behind the drummer's back, 'cause he couldn't play shit and they didn't have the heart to tell him

 

[scorpio01169]

If he was/is truly one of your best friends, wouldn't you have known he was an alcoholic and/or drug addict long before the band reunion? Wouldn't you have tried to help your friend for his own sake over the band's anyway?

Your post reads like you are bummed the dude could holdyou back more so than "one of your best friends in the world" is facing an extremely aggressive addiction

you are right however i thought that he would think that it's not about him and he would be sober at least for that first day....but i was wrong. second i dont wanna hurt his feelings but as i said you're right i gotta be straight with him

 

[JeffTD]

You don't start bands or keep them together just because of friendship.

You do it to make music. If you become close friends in the process, even better, but don't let everything ride on that.

Regardless of how much his feelings will be hurt, you've give your friend the axe if he's not cutting it, musically.

If he doesn't understand... he doesn't deserve to be in a band in the first place.