Why working at my job is so much fun

[Goreripper]

Me [answering phone]: Hello [standard phone-answering spiel]
Caller: Hello? Um, yes, I'm just out driving and I can see a fire? I'd like to report it please
Me: Thank you, have you called Triple 0?
Caller: No, it's only a small one. Do I need to call Triple 0?
Me: Yes
Caller: Oh, ok then, I'll do that, thanks
Me: Thank you


Caller: Hello. Can you tell me where the nearest fire station is please?
Me: Where do you live?
Caller: Newtown (or somewhere like that)
Me: Well, there's a fire station in Newtown
Caller: Yes, but I want to volunteer for the bush fire brigade
Me: Well, there aren't any bush fire stations in Newtown
Caller: Oh. What's the closest one?
Me: Probably Sutherland or Blacktown
Caller: Oh. That's a bit far isn't it

Caller: Hello? There's a little fire by the side of the road here, can you send someone out please?
Me: Ma'am, you have to call Triple 0 to report a fire
Caller: But it's only a rubbish bin. I don't want to bother them.

 

[Goreripper]

Oh, I forgot this fucking gem:

Caller: Hello? Someone rang up from the Fire Service selling raffles tickets.
Me: That would have been the Fire Service Association, yes.
Caller: Oh good. Because it was last week, and I gave them my credit card number, so I was wondering if it's the real thing.
Me: Well, if it wasn't, they would have cleaned you out by now, you fucking idiot.

 

[phlogiston]

Why do you have to call Triple 0 to report a fire? Why can't you handle it (and when I say you, you know what I mean) directly?

This is a serious question for a change. No smart-arsery involved this time around.

 

[phlogiston]

It'll have something to do with management and actually getting the closest ones to the fire to deal with it, won't it? It helps when you stop and think about things....

 

[Goreripper]

You got it phloggy. We don't respond brigades from Head Office. The triple 0 call goes to Fire Brigade communication centre in either Sydney, Katoomba, Wollongong or Newcastle. They then pass the call on to the closest response centre to where the fire is.

 

[Southy]

Do you call people fuckwits often Gorey? More radio personality's need to call people fuckwits