[OK, my folks have dissapeared of to melbourne for a couple of weeks for the australian open (tennis) 
and thusly I have been left to cook/clean/fend for myself for the next week and a bit. I have discovered that cooking is a chore when half the food went off the day before yesterday, and the other half is still a solid block of ice in the freezer cos I forgot to take the mince out so I could make spaghetti bolognase for tea tonight (yes, he CAN cook, in a pressure situation ) I have also discovered that I literally SUCK at ironing (dont' ask me to explain that, I think there's a bias towards left-handed ironers that needs to be addressed), and even though we finally got the dishwasher fixed a couple of days ago, I couldn't be arsed loading shit in to pushing the button.
long story short, while I am capable of all these things, I'm so unbelieveably inefficient that I'm barely finding time for anytihng else (like sorting out travel arrangements amongst other things). I'm literally waking up at 7 after 5 hrs sleep, jumping in shower, neglecting to make lunch (and thus wasting money buying it), bussing to work, working my arse off, coming home, cooking, eating, cleaning, ironing, shitting, sleeping..... ad nauseum. )
I have therefore decided that I need a wife for the next week or so to free up some spare time for web-browsing and watching anime and porn and playing games and whatnot (often all at once. men where designed with multi tasking in mind ) and am accepting applications for able bodied women to fly themselves over here pronto and iron my work clothes before work tomorrow morning.
No need to swamp me with applications all at once though. :Smug:
You may simply appear on my doorstep tomorrow morning on a trial basis with a prepacked lunch ready to hand to me on the way out the door, then you can move onto the pile of dishes in the sink and the clothes that were too hard to iron while I'm gone. Understand that at this point I may have several 'potential wives' in the house at the same time, and that life in my harem may not initially be an easy one.
Once I have seen the fruits of the candidates labour, and graded them on their individual merits, failed applicants will find there tush hoisted immediately out the door unless they are willing to help with the wedding ceremony (the runner up is relegated to the maid of honour duties)... after which, her tush will be unceremonioulsy hoisted out the door.
The succesful applicant will then proceed to clean up after the ceremony and keep my free time 'free' by performing various chores.
The good news though is that my folks are only gone till the end of next week, so we can get an annulment after that like britney spears and what's his face (...did anyone catch that guys name? )
In exchange for your services and wifely duties while the bread-winner is doing what he does best, you will be rewarded with hot man-sex (that's sex with a man by the way, not sex between men in this case) at my discresion if I'm not busy watching scrapped princess or playing soul calibur.... and you aren't too exhusted from your day in the kitchen/laundry/etc.
So, any takers?
and thusly I have been left to cook/clean/fend for myself for the next week and a bit. I have discovered that cooking is a chore when half the food went off the day before yesterday, and the other half is still a solid block of ice in the freezer cos I forgot to take the mince out so I could make spaghetti bolognase for tea tonight (yes, he CAN cook, in a pressure situation ) I have also discovered that I literally SUCK at ironing (dont' ask me to explain that, I think there's a bias towards left-handed ironers that needs to be addressed), and even though we finally got the dishwasher fixed a couple of days ago, I couldn't be arsed loading shit in to pushing the button.long story short, while I am capable of all these things, I'm so unbelieveably inefficient that I'm barely finding time for anytihng else (like sorting out travel arrangements amongst other things). I'm literally waking up at 7 after 5 hrs sleep, jumping in shower, neglecting to make lunch (and thus wasting money buying it), bussing to work, working my arse off, coming home, cooking, eating, cleaning, ironing, shitting, sleeping..... ad nauseum.
)I have therefore decided that I need a wife for the next week or so to free up some spare time for web-browsing and watching anime and porn and playing games and whatnot (often all at once. men where designed with multi tasking in mind
) and am accepting applications for able bodied women to fly themselves over here pronto and iron my work clothes before work tomorrow morning.No need to swamp me with applications all at once though. :Smug:
You may simply appear on my doorstep tomorrow morning on a trial basis with a prepacked lunch ready to hand to me on the way out the door, then you can move onto the pile of dishes in the sink and the clothes that were too hard to iron while I'm gone. Understand that at this point I may have several 'potential wives' in the house at the same time, and that life in my harem may not initially be an easy one.
Once I have seen the fruits of the candidates labour, and graded them on their individual merits, failed applicants will find there tush hoisted immediately out the door unless they are willing to help with the wedding ceremony (the runner up is relegated to the maid of honour duties)... after which, her tush will be unceremonioulsy hoisted out the door.
The succesful applicant will then proceed to clean up after the ceremony and keep my free time 'free' by performing various chores.
The good news though is that my folks are only gone till the end of next week, so we can get an annulment after that like britney spears and what's his face (...did anyone catch that guys name?
) In exchange for your services and wifely duties while the bread-winner is doing what he does best, you will be rewarded with hot man-sex (that's sex with a man by the way, not sex between men in this case) at my discresion if I'm not busy watching scrapped princess or playing soul calibur.... and you aren't too exhusted from your day in the kitchen/laundry/etc.
So, any takers?
