xferx: imagine this:

screwdriverqueen

human plant/container.
Nov 3, 2002
358
1
18
44
Boston
www.livejournal.com
recent story reported in russia:

http://funreports.com/2003/03/13/44378.html

Two-headed Calf Born in Russia’s Vologda Region

Recently a two-headed calf was born at a farm in Russia’s Vologda region. Unfortunately, farmers failed to save its life.

At the end of February milkmaids at the Zarya farm clutched their heads in horror: their favorite cow named Toma delivered an unusual animal: it was a calf with two necks and two heads. The farmers were unhappy to see that the two-headed calf died during difficult confinement. Fortunately, the cow itself survived.

Veterinary specialists of the Vologda region say that appearance of the mutant calf is closely connected with worsening ecological situation in the region. Vets say that soils in the area where the strange calf was born catastrophically lack selenium and iodine, this fact causes anomalies. For instance, a calf without a tail was born at a neighboring farm last year. This was the first time that a two-headed calf was born.

Instances of births of such calves are rare in the world as well.

In the spring of 2001 a cow delivered a two-headed calf in a village 70 kilometers to the south of Tirana (Albania). Legends in that place say that birth of such animals brings misfortune, that is why the owner of the strange calf was in despair. However, the woman cheered up when the US Vet Association offered her to sell the mutant for 25 USD.

In the spring of 2002 a two-headed calf was also born in a farm in Russia’s Ulyanovsk region. Last summer similar mutant was born in Honduras. When the calf came to the world, owner of the cow nearly fainted as he saw the calf had two heads. At first, the two heads bellowed simultaneously and then tried to drive the whole of the body. However, the calf died in half an hour.

Scientists explain that such phenomena appear as a result of mutations in the organism in the period of embryonic growth of tissues. Mutations can be caused by unfavorable environmental situation first of all, high concentration of toxic substances and radiation.




Anyhow, here's a picture of the guy:
12-calf.jpg


alright, now....

imagine:

HOLY FUCK wouldn't the little boy from russia who can shoot FIREBALLS from his EYES look AMAZING standing next to the two-headed calf??? that would've been an amazing photo oppurtunity, i say.
 
I'm picturing a scene where you emerge from a barn in a dreamy state and look up, and there in a field is the fireball-eyed Russian boy...MILKING a two-headed cow!

All three heads turn to stare at you. Then you either wake up...or realise it's real.
 
ew, xferx, you pervert!

you just put a gross image in my head.

if you cut off both heads of that calf, it would look like two hairy calf-hair-colored hairy peens with the "heads" all decapitated and gushing blood (cum.)

ew ew ew i hate you. :(
 
goatschool said:
OT, but -

if there were giant plant udders that secreted soy milk, i would suckle from them.

that wasn't off-topic at all.
and:

me too, with a glimpse of hope that this "soy milk" would have enormous slimy globs in them. as it emitted the milk chunks, it would slowly spit it out exactly like how the mongolian death worm squirts poison:

gobideathworm.jpg
 
screwdriverqueen said:
me too, with a glimpse of hope that this "soy milk" would have enormous slimy globs in them. as it emitted the milk chunks...

these chunks would in fact be {nearly} equivalent to half-formed soy gouda!