YOU KNOW YOU ARE IN TEXAS in JULY WHEN...

Jax

Forum Goddess
Feb 11, 2002
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San Jose, CA
Got this in e-mail from a friend in Texas & had to share it here with the TX boys..hehe! I was in TX in July last year & I can vouch for most of these..LMAO :)

YOU KNOW YOU ARE IN TEXAS in JULY WHEN...

The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.
The trees are whistling for the dogs.
The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
Hot water now comes out of both taps.
You can make sun tea instantly.
You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.
The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a little chilly.
You discover that in July it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car.
You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.
You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.
Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"
You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
The potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.
Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying boiled eggs.
The cows are giving evaporated milk.
No where BUT TEXAS..! ...............Right?
 
That is real cute Jax!! You are going to scare my wife away!! Even though a lot of that is true. :tickled:

Of course our Zero Hour car being without an airconditioner at the moment doesn't help!! :hotjump:
 
Eeep no air conditioning in the car? You poor things..good luck! ;)


Seriously though..TX is a kickass place, I hope you'll like it there!
 
I was just there a month ago. Everyday was over 100 degrees, but it was not that bad. It is a drier heat than here in Charlotte, NC. Here we have 90 degree days with 90% humidity. And, yeah Texas was really cool, I was even debating with my wife (from Texas) to move down to Ft. Worth. We will see.
 
:lol:

You know you're in connecticut when a kid who lives in 4 million dollar house and is wearing a $5000 jacket claims he is "ghetto"