if...
You walk into a room, turn on the light, and immediately scream out in pain as you shut it off.
You are picky about what shade of black you wear.
After recovering from a serious illness, you are uspet to hear people say,"You look so much better now. You really looked dead for a while."
You were one of the babies in this oh-so-scientific study.
You wear whiteface for so many consecutive days that when you finally wash it off you are surprised to see yourself with pigment.
You can stab someone to death with your hair.
You single handedly keep an entire makeup company in business just by buying their eyeliner.
You wear colors only when you're too depressed to wear black.
You do all of your yearly shopping in the last couple of months before Halloween.
Three words: Sexbat's Goth Test
You fall asleep in noisy areas while on amphetamines.
You are always too tired to get out of bed, but never too tired to go clubbing.
You're proud of your pretention.
People who have never even spoken to you before ask if they can rummage through your closet to find Halloween costumes.
Even your closest friends don't recognize you without your makeup on.
The people you work with don't recognize you *with* your makeup on.
You wonder why people in your psychology class feel the need to study masochism. Doesn't *everyone* like to be hurt?
You shop for dresses in the lengerie section.
You buy your jewelry at the hardware store.
An emergency arises at 3pm, and you say, "What a way to start the day!"
You have a fetish for people in demonic-looking masks.
You see a piece of a stove pipe and think it's armor.
You're too poor to eat, but you can still afford a new pile of CDs or another sexy nightclub outfit.
You weren't born. You were summoned.
You watch a movie about slavery and get jealous of the slaves which are being whipped.
A blood drive is announced and you start making plans to steal the blood.
You get home and find that someone has left a vampire comic under your door but hasn't bothered to leave their name.
While reading Edgar Allen Poe's "The Pit and The Pendulum," you realize that the description of the dungeon pretty much matches the decorations in your room.
All the lint on your carpet is black.
No matter how crowded a bus is, no one ever sits next to you.
You haven't seen your natural hair color in so many years that when people ask you what it is, your first response is one of confusion.
People apologize for missing your funeral.
You have to avoid stores that pay their workers on commission, lest you be ensnared and led to everything black, velvet, lacy, and inevitably unaffordable.
You cried for Edward Scissorhands.
People in your dorm no longer wonder who keeps showering in the dark.
Your professors deem your paper topics as "gruesome."
Even your parents have learned not to buy you anything with color.
You've heard enough Elvira comments to start thinking there really *is* a connection between you and her.
You're the token weird friend.
You can never have enough transparent black or black velvet dresses.
Your idea of making a new outfit is cutting up an old one.
Your scissors are your most important friends (except maybe for your knives and wire cutters).
Every job you take involves an unusual element of danger. People give you their Halloween decorations on November 1.
You walk into a room, turn on the light, and immediately scream out in pain as you shut it off.
You are picky about what shade of black you wear.
After recovering from a serious illness, you are uspet to hear people say,"You look so much better now. You really looked dead for a while."
You were one of the babies in this oh-so-scientific study.
You wear whiteface for so many consecutive days that when you finally wash it off you are surprised to see yourself with pigment.
You can stab someone to death with your hair.
You single handedly keep an entire makeup company in business just by buying their eyeliner.
You wear colors only when you're too depressed to wear black.
You do all of your yearly shopping in the last couple of months before Halloween.
Three words: Sexbat's Goth Test
You fall asleep in noisy areas while on amphetamines.
You are always too tired to get out of bed, but never too tired to go clubbing.
You're proud of your pretention.
People who have never even spoken to you before ask if they can rummage through your closet to find Halloween costumes.
Even your closest friends don't recognize you without your makeup on.
The people you work with don't recognize you *with* your makeup on.
You wonder why people in your psychology class feel the need to study masochism. Doesn't *everyone* like to be hurt?
You shop for dresses in the lengerie section.
You buy your jewelry at the hardware store.
An emergency arises at 3pm, and you say, "What a way to start the day!"
You have a fetish for people in demonic-looking masks.
You see a piece of a stove pipe and think it's armor.
You're too poor to eat, but you can still afford a new pile of CDs or another sexy nightclub outfit.
You weren't born. You were summoned.
You watch a movie about slavery and get jealous of the slaves which are being whipped.
A blood drive is announced and you start making plans to steal the blood.
You get home and find that someone has left a vampire comic under your door but hasn't bothered to leave their name.
While reading Edgar Allen Poe's "The Pit and The Pendulum," you realize that the description of the dungeon pretty much matches the decorations in your room.
All the lint on your carpet is black.
No matter how crowded a bus is, no one ever sits next to you.
You haven't seen your natural hair color in so many years that when people ask you what it is, your first response is one of confusion.
People apologize for missing your funeral.
You have to avoid stores that pay their workers on commission, lest you be ensnared and led to everything black, velvet, lacy, and inevitably unaffordable.
You cried for Edward Scissorhands.
People in your dorm no longer wonder who keeps showering in the dark.
Your professors deem your paper topics as "gruesome."
Even your parents have learned not to buy you anything with color.
You've heard enough Elvira comments to start thinking there really *is* a connection between you and her.
You're the token weird friend.
You can never have enough transparent black or black velvet dresses.
Your idea of making a new outfit is cutting up an old one.
Your scissors are your most important friends (except maybe for your knives and wire cutters).
Every job you take involves an unusual element of danger. People give you their Halloween decorations on November 1.
