a question for all you dog lovers (e.g., avi and his peons)

[xfer]

How should I behave around dogs to communicate that they should get away from me and not touch me? They always come up and jump on me and scratch me and put their noses in my lap. Isn't there some body language I can learn so when I see a dog it knows to KEEP AWAY?

Preferably something that doesn't involve violence.

 

[xfer]

i totally should've posted just a roadkill pic and the word CL0WNED!!!!!!! in this thread.

 

[avi]

ask their handlers to restrain them or tell them 'no' or 'off' in a firm voice.

 

[lizard]

threaten them with a one-way ticket to the Bar K-9.
Arbeit Macht Frei.

 

[xfer]

can i blow an air horn in their faces?

 

[chupe666]

growl at them in a hostile manner.

 

[minxnim]

make full, prolonged eye contact.

 

[xfer]

I suppose my previous philosophy of "pet them once, tell them that's all they're getting, and tell them to scoot, using foot if necessary" is a bad one?

 

[xfer]

are you guys serious, or are you trying to get my face torn off?

 

[capeda]

I think the only acceptable method is bonking them on the nose and saying "no." It's not really VIOLENT, just unpleasant!

 

[lizard]

hold a doggie treat firmly halfway out of your mouth and dare them to try and take it.

or better yet put doggie treats in your shorts and enjoy their excitement when they nuzzle your crotch!

 

[xfer]

i don't want to touch their wet fucking noses.

 

[capeda]

Well, not the wet part! A bit higher up!

 

[avi]

the staring thing will actually work with a lot of dogs, but some might see it as a challenge. eye-contact is kind of a no-no in the dog world.

and do you really expect a dog to understand that one pet is all they're getting?

 

[xfer]

it's not my fault they're peabrained.

 

[minxnim]

it's not their fault you're not as smart as the pet psychic.

 

[xfer]

i would EGO WHIP the dog.