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"So me and the guys made a new Amorphis album.
The goal was to create the perfect 2010s metal classic. It's weird how even after twenty years, the band can't make a record by themselves! Think of it, for example for the cover we had to pay Tom Bates all the way from England, 'cause the guys can't even draw. And what of me? I can't even write, so for that we needed Pekka Kainulainen to write poems. And the singing performance is some strange chirping, so I tried to cover up for the flaws with grunts and black metal screaming. Pathetic.
Sande had to go all the way to church to play the organ, since there's not enough space for a proper organ in his little flat. At least the songs we wrote ourselves, but for the production we called in help from Sweden. Peter Tägtgren had to haul himself to Finland in order for us to get our act together somehow. I don't envy the dude. And what about the songs? Well, the melodies are much too beautiful, and they stick in your head annoyingly.
Snoopy bangs on the drums like crazy and what's more, the dude has 2 bass drums. Pretty vain in my opinion. The guitars, too, are quite on the surface, so on the whole the sound is strangely heavy. And since the guys can't play the cello, flute, sax and the like, we needed Sakari Kukko and some others to visit us in the studio for that. It's really ridiculous how much trouble a band like this has to take just to record one measly album. Sure doesn't make sense.
Listen for yourself if you don't believe me!" -TJ