Another fucking story thread!

[cannibal corpse]

...Too stupid to realise that these were last year's tickets, fortunately for me, the ticket dude was too stupid to realise it, so I am let in and Bruce immediately takes me in has his son and he named me Dude Dickinson, now I'm filthy rich and can talk to the guys in Iron Maiden every time I want, unfortunately I suddenly find Iron Maiden to be a crappy band and soon leave home and I end up on the streets with no money and the lamest name ever, then I look up and see...

 

[maiden1]

...cannibalcorpse giving head to a dead dog...BUT WAIT THERE's MORE...Thee original Maiden band turned up and said....WTF's going on and who's that sucking on a dead dogs dick?

I had to tell them... It's the cannibalcorpse...He told everyone, you are a crapy band...They didn't like the crap that came out of the corpse's mouth so the Maiden band kicked the f&%k out of the corpse and played the concert of a lifetime then packed up and played the next town, all was good in the Maiden camp.

But that wasn't the last time we see or hear of the corpse, more to come as you will see ...

 

[Fenrisúlfr]

...for the corpse hired a lawyer who smelled deep pockets from Maiden...

 

[maiden1]

And so the story goes on...

 

[cannibal corpse]

...and as I walk into the shadowy room of my foster parent's (Bruce) bedroom I see maiden1, Cipher, Bruce Dickinson having a gay threesome in the bed, I look at someone standing and I see cannibalcorpse raping maiden1 and beating the crap out of Cipher, I walk out and then cannibalcorpse kills me but I have a holy ressurection and I again have no money and totally suck and now I like Judas Priest so I go and see Rob Halford and ...

 

[maiden1]

...hmmmm Sounds like the corpse is playing all parts in this story :zombie:

So maybe....just maybe he can go and f*%k himself and drop dead so we can move on to the next village (jke)

I leave the East End of London, say goodby to Phill and Peggy whom I met at the Queen Vic and make my way to...

 

[cannibal corpse]

(Oh, I thought we were supposed to make a 3rd person perspective of the story and inevitably controlling every character. :/)

... Kill me. I stood a great fight but eventually threatened to kill Bruce Dickinson, and I say now you must choose, kill me and Bruce Dickinson dies also, or save your father and must be my slave for the rest of your life, sigh, I choose...WHAT'S THAT! I look away and he lunges at me, fortunately I duck and you fall of the 50 km cliff, I throw Bruce Dickinson off also and walk into the night, searching for revenge...

(No fair my character is the evil deranged one. )

 

[maiden1]

...YES...Out for Revenge...Revenge of the pink panther just so he can bitch slap me sthilly

As you now know I am the corpse...I'm Butch the cannibal :zombie:

Now I must search for...

 

[maiden1]

...A key...A key to unlock my....

 

[maiden1]

...mouth, so I can eat...I'm sooooo hungry, I need to eat some brains...:zombie:

I found a box, written in blood on the side it says...OPEN...KEY INSIDE...BUT...

 

[maiden1]

...When I opened the box and looked inside there was no key, NOTHING.

WTF is going on, it said on the side of the box :Smug:OPEN...KEY INSIDE...Or...Was that a clue to find the Key, now I am confused

I must move on...

 

[maiden1]

Kill me. I stood a great fight but eventually threatened to kill Bruce Dickinson, and I say now you must choose, kill me and Bruce Dickinson dies also, or save your father and must be my slave for the rest of your life, sigh, I choose...WHAT'S THAT! I look away and he lunges at me, fortunately I duck and you fall of the 50 km cliff, I throw Bruce Dickinson off also and walk into the night, searching for revenge...

YES...Revenge...Revenge of the pink panther just so he could bitch slap me sthilly

As you now know I am the corpse...I'm Butch the cannibal :zombie:

Now I must search for A key...A key to unlock my mouth, so I can eat...I'm sooooo hungry, I need to eat some brains...:zombie:

I found a box, written in blood on the side it says...OPEN...KEY INSIDE...BUT when I opened the box and looked inside there was no key, NOTHING.

WTF is going on, Tiz written in blood :Smug:OPEN...KEY INSIDE...Or...Was that a clue to find the Key, now I am confused

I must move on, but wait...

 

[maiden1]

...Has someone been here before me and taken the key that unlocks my mouth ...Why?...Why the fuck would you take a key that has no use to anyone but me...FUCK...FUCK...FUCK

Now I have to find a Village with a locksmith so they....

 

[maiden1]

...can unlock this lock that shuts my mouth.

I've been walking for days....Well, its only been about 8 or 9 hours now...but it feels like days :Smug:

I reach a sign, but this is no ordinery sign, no this sign is a talking sign, when you walk up to the sign it Welcomes you with... "Welcome To The Village Of The BARRRRG" thats how it spoke I think it meant the Village Of The BOG...hmmm

When you walk past the sign it tells you to :Smug:"Have A Nice Day And Tred Softly When You Walk"

BUT...When you walk back past the sign it tells you....

 

[maiden1]

...to FARRRRRK ARRRRRF AND DON'T COME BACK.........

So I...

 

[maiden1]

...so I make my way towards the Village of the BARR....SO, I make my way to the Village Of The BOG I know I'm close because there is a strange oder in the air, I'm thinking thats coming from the bog

I...

 

[maiden1]

...I was right, it smells like a shitty kind of death.

I make my way down the road trying not to thow-up, too lateuke: and againuke: and again uke:

I see a sign on a tree, it says pie shop 10min keep left of the road don't stop and whatever you do "don't look back"

As I walk to the left of the road the smell gets stronger, :Smug: what is that smell....

 

[maiden1]

...Anyways, I get to the shop and by this time I'm F%#@ING starving, as you know I left what food I had inside of me on the side of the road....uke:

So, I enter the shop, I stand for a good 5-6 min and no-one :Smug: and the smell of fresh baked pies

I call out ELLO ELLO ANY-ONE BACK THERE, HELLO, F&#@ING no-one, F%#k F%#k F%#K...F%#k this, I'm so F%#king hungry I could eat a horse :zombie:

So I go behind the counter, open the oven door and YES it's full of pies, thank f%#k for that.

I start eating as many pies as I can in what little time I have before the owner returns, I must have eaten at least six pies before I hear someone opening the back door, I.....

 

[cannibal corpse]

...was too fat to move and I was sent to jail and executed. The End.

 

[maiden1]

Buuuuuut....then I woke-up uke:sick as dog with someones finger in my mouth...ewow ge de uck ou my mouf uke: GET THE F%#K OUT, But there was no one attached to this finger.

As I look towards the floor I see I have been sick for some time, I see un-cooked meat and some uke:uke: finger nails and bits of bone.

I stand up and on the wall a sign...Peoples Pies For The People.

WTF :Smug:

The next thing I hear a motor bike start up NO FUCKING WAY no motor bike, Its some FAT FUCK WITH A CHAIN-SAW.

I go to run but I slipped in my spew, now I'm slipping and sliding, I'm not mooving F%#K OFF YOU FAT F$@K.

This is the never ending story, I can't Die.

As the FAT F%#K got closser I spewed once again uke: he slipped and landed on his back, 'He knew he was F#@ked as he was still holding the saw....Thats right people, when he landed on his back the force of the fall brought the saw down hard on to his chest and went straight through his heart. And thats how I got away.

THE...