Another hilarious Top 100 list!

[Descendent]

Did anyone happen to see this month's Metal Hammer? The cover is graced with the Lost Prophets and their slick side-parted emo haircuts. Anyways, this issue features "the 100 Heaviest Albums of All Time." I wish people would stop making these lists! Here's a few entries that made me giggle:
94: Anthrax-Spreading the Disease. An excellent album, no question, but hardly their heaviest. And why so close to the bottom of the list?!
35: Cannibal Corpse-Butchered at Birth. In my opinion, the band's least heaviest album.
23: Carcass-Symphonies of Sickness. What about Heartwork?
20: KoRn-Self Titled. Speaks for itself.
09: Killswitch Engage-The End of Heartbreak. Are they serious? To me, this is the biggest headache on the list. Anything emo-inspired should automatically disqualified. You mean to tell me that this album is heavier than anything by Dimmu Borgir, Sepultura, the Haunted/At the Gates (I could go on all day), etc.? What are ya gonna go? I mean, after all, Jack White will annihilate Eddie Van Halen on the guitar.

 

[Stormwatch]

Mate, Metal Hammer gave St Anger a great review and called it the face of metal today. What the fuck do you expect? It's a pile of shite, just as bad as Kerrang!. Buy Terrorizer - full of stupid genre names, stupid rambling album reviews and poofy black metal bands acting evil - but at least it's a real metal magazine.

 

[timmyc]

I saw that. Apart from them putting STD so low on this list, Hammer has been giving Anthrax a pretty fair amout of press following WCFYA. The fact that they've toured the UK 3-4 times in the last 2 years obviously helps, but they alwats get great reviews, as they should.

 

[SCott308]

Here's another list, from Guitar World.

NEW YORK - He may be known for his over-the-top antics but Poison guitarist C.C. DeVille has another claim to fame: his "Guitar Solo" has been named the worst of all time by Guitar World magazine.

The magazine selected the "100 Worst Riffs, Licks & Solos of All Time," identifying ones that are "lazy," "boring," "just plain stoopid," or "involve C.C. Deville."

The list includes songs by David Bowie, Def Leppard, Metallica , Green Day, B.B. King, The Grateful Dead, Jimi Hendrix, Aerosmith and The Strokes, among others. Many are guitar legends who simply had a bad night or bum note.

Guitar World describes DeVille's nine-minute solo "completely devoid of taste, structure or steady tempo" and recommends every budding guitarist listen to it because "surely, they can't do any worse."

DeVille was also cited for his "Cherry Pie" solo when he played with Warrant and Poison's "Every Rose Has Its Thorn."

The magazine recommends DeVille "take solace in the fact that he's in some rather good company."

Rounding out the top 10: "Summertime Blues," Blue Cheer; "The Game of Love," Carlos Santana; Falstaff beer 1967 radio spot, Cream; "All You Need is Love," The Beatles; "Thirsty and Miserable," Black Flag; "Wango Tango," Ted Nugent ; "Ain't Too Proud to Beg," Rolling Stones; "Sting of the Bumblebee," Manowar; and "American Woman," Lenny Kravitz.

The list appears in the magazine's December issue.

 

[Spreadingthe Living312]

Did anyone happen to see this month's Metal Hammer? The cover is graced with the Lost Prophets and their slick side-parted emo haircuts. Anyways, this issue features "the 100 Heaviest Albums of All Time." I wish people would stop making these lists! Here's a few entries that made me giggle:
94: Anthrax-Spreading the Disease. An excellent album, no question, but hardly their heaviest. And why so close to the bottom of the list?!
35: Cannibal Corpse-Butchered at Birth. In my opinion, the band's least heaviest album.
23: Carcass-Symphonies of Sickness. What about Heartwork?
20: KoRn-Self Titled. Speaks for itself.
09: Killswitch Engage-The End of Heartbreak. Are they serious? To me, this is the biggest headache on the list. Anything emo-inspired should automatically disqualified. You mean to tell me that this album is heavier than anything by Dimmu Borgir, Sepultura, the Haunted/At the Gates (I could go on all day), etc.? What are ya gonna go? I mean, after all, Jack White will annihilate Eddie Van Halen on the guitar.

Was Slayer on the list?? (PERSONALLY I think they're the heaviest band ever) I'm interested. What albums were featured and where did they rank??

 

[Descendent]

Slayer came in at number 4 with Reign In Blood, only to lose the number 3 spot to Kill 'Em All.

 

[Spreadingthe Living312]

Slayer came in at number 4 with Reign In Blood, only to lose the number 3 spot to Kill 'Em All.

No fucking way. I'm gonna go up to whoever compiled that list and give em a slap in the face. Haha. Those silly fuckers. Kill em all heavier than Reign in Blood?? Honestly.

 

[johnnieCzech]

All these top lists suck serious ass.

 

[coolsnow7]

That list sounds like the most ridiculous I've ever heard. Haha. I thought a list of best guitarists ever where kurt cobain is #13 would never be beaten.

 

[tokkalosh]

Who cares what's the heaviest?? If it is about the heaviest, then surely Anthrax shouldn't be on there and only black and death metal bands.
A song can be really gentle on the ears and still be brilliant. Examples: A warm place, nothing else matters, hurt.

 

[Spreadingthe Living312]

Want to know the difference between thrash and death metal??

Death metal has cookie monster vocals and thrash is cool.

 

[tokkalosh]

Thrash metal I like, but death metal is just... well......