Anybody have any advice on working with women?

[Angrafan]

I guess I am not as paranoid... maybe it's a cultural thing (I am brazilian)...
I treat female co-workers who I am intimate with just like I'd treat a friend..
heck, I kiss my boss in the cheeck every morning! lol

Maybe I should be more careful..

 

[Greykiller]

True very true, but also make sure they know you have an open door. Women tend to vent more about work place issues to their supers (at least in my department), even if you don't agree with what they say, listen, think about it and do get back to them. That way they know they are heard... even if your reply to them is no, at least they'll feel like they are heard.

-Metal

Whenever people came into my office to vent, I would pull out the book and ask them to recite pages 30-33. Basically, venting needs to start with observable facts, the feelings related to those facts, and a presentation of possible solutions to make the situation better. When you are trained to combine complaining with creating improved processes, that negative energy turns into direct, positive results.

 

[MetalRose]

Whenever people came into my office to vent, I would pull out the book and ask them to recite pages 30-33. Basically, venting needs to start with observable facts, the feelings related to those facts, and a presentation of possible solutions to make the situation better. When you are trained to combine complaining with creating improved processes, that negative energy turns into direct, positive results.

Very true.

There were a few of us at work having issues with certian things being pushed onto us. We all went to our super individually (who had the solid facts in front of him), and nothing ever felt like it was getting done.

Last week, 6 of us (1/2 of our department) had a meeting with him and basically said, "Look we've all noticed this, you've noticed this and nothing has changed. For the last 4 months, we have come to you one by one, we are very frustrated and would like to figure out a solution that all of us are happy with." My super was impressed that we intitiated the meeting with him as well as gave him logical suggestions without attacking him.

I guess that's what I meant by "venting" you know?

-Metal

 

[Michael TEOF]

Lots of great advice by everyone. One thing to keep in mind, is that all groups of people are different. I don't believe in a one size fits all management style. You observe, change and adapt.

In my line of work, small talk and conversation with my team is actually important. The problem is, I am (as many of you well know) a very personable and expressive in person with all my friends and in public. When it comes to work relationships, I act much more reserved. Probably too much so.

There are ways to build positive relationships (maybe some of you took emotional bond the wrong way) with people in the work place. The benefits are a more approachable and honest environment where those little resentments we all have don't build up over time.

Thanks for your comments. They were all supportive. Greykillers was slightly snooty (yet helpful as well), but the rest of you made me feel better And I'm still waiting for comments from others that I know want to add something

The Michael

 

[Cheiron]

Michael, I wouldn't avoid having friendships with your female employees. Especially since you might have friendships with the male employees. Most of the time that respect for the person being the 'supervisor' can remain. I am typically friends with my immediate supervisor. I still respect them as the person in charge, because they have that position, and they do it well. But I also don't work well with people who are like 'I'm the Boss, hand's off!' In fact, that style in general doesn't work too well. As it reduces the pathflow of information, and from the 'subordinates' contributing as best as they can.

I don't believe in acting too differently in the workplace. Who you are is a lot of what got you somewhere. But yeah, you do want to avoid certain things that you might get away wtih outside the workplace, because as others said the stakes are higher. You can do something in your personal life and the worst is the lady leaves your circle of friendship. You do it in the workplace and it might lead to you getting fired.

So my advice is, 'Work with women the same way you do men. Whats inappropriate with men, is inappropriate with women.'

 

[Diamond45]

Working in polictial correctness hell (aka the US Government), everyone - both men and women - must watch their P's and Q's all the time. We go through a lot of training on what really should be obvious, but to many people isn't.

You have to be professional at all times - period. Most people around here are on good behavior, but you'll see a few who draw the line. I don't see much in the way of sexual harrassment (thank goodness) or discrimination (again, thank goodness), but you'll see other stuff like people being really snippy towards others at times. In some ways, that can be considered harrassment as well. I have talked to a few supervisors when something was getting a bit carried away and put an end to it quick!

But to echo everyone's comments - keep it professional. Be extra careful what you say, as others may take what you think is a joke that may mean nothing to you that others may deem offensive. It is NOT worth losing your job over!

 

[Matt Crooks]

I mean, I might compliment a guy for his ass (yeah, I have a WEIRD sense of humour - I'm not gay)
c.

 

[yardleybates]

make sure that everyone at work knows your gay. That way, it'll never be an issue of harrassment.