Why, actually... I've grown up with math books being the majority of my entertainment, been hazardously obsessive-compulsive about order and reason for as long as I can remember, taught math to others for as long as I've been in school, frightened most of my math teachers at one point or another, had the university that owned my second high school apologize for not being able to keep up with my math needs, and blown through four years' worth of school in two... putting me at ten weeks from graduating with a B of S in Mathematics well after the drop dates and my application for graduation, but...
No, I really think I should study Art History.
Wait.
Fuck.
Hold on...
Criminal Justice.
Maybe Philosopy.
I really have no attachment to the track I'm on, being a second-semester senior who has applied to graduate schools in this field and taken a semester's worth of math classes above and beyond what are actually necessary just for amusement. But maybe you're right - I'd love to be a sociologist, throwing away all real forms of reasoning and scientific thought and replacing them with claiming to be a 'social scientist' and viewing crying on behalf of poor pregnant black eight-year-olds whose welfare checks were stolen by Milton Friedman as a valid way of solving problems.
But is it right for me? I mean... sure, a monkey could test out of a Business degree and totally deflate the egos of jackoffs who brag about how they're going to buy a Dodge Fucking Viper within their first year of work because Business degrees are the most awesome thing ever, but I'd like to assess my skills and make sure I could handle it all.
What if I couldn't hack it as a music-performance-degree-holding Starbucks cashier? That's some hard work, acting smug and giving everything really big vaguely-Italian-sounding names... I really don't know how well I could handle it.
I thought that maybe I could start looking at Communications just to have a backup plan, but twenty gazillion classes about talking at people with big words thrown in to come across as being intelligent (see? It works!) and using large breasts to sell useless trinkets on television... really, how do they expect people to make it through?
You know... what if college just isn't right for me? Maybe my place is working at a record store, trying to subtly hint to teenagers with awful bangs in their face that I might have some pot I could sell them.
Hell, I'm already a licensed minister, I could marry people... or could I? Would I have to give refunds for divorces? Would that fancy Catholic church on McCullough let a guy who worships himself perform weddings in their building? Maybe I should go to Vegas...
You know, fuck this all. I'm going to go to audio engineering school and pretend that my degree means something. Or maybe I'll just go back to high school and spread rumors about random girls for no apparent reason. That would be about as challenging.
Actually, now that I think about it, I once watched a movie with a gay guy. Should I try being a hairdresser? No... I shouldn't be trusted with sharp objects near complete strangers' heads. No.
Hmm... that seems to cover everything... well, UTSA academic advising, thank you for making me question twenty years of choices for no apparent reason and with no way of changing them at this time, but I think I'm going to stick with what I have. Worst case scenario, I can always come back here and be an academic advisor and just fuck with people endlessly for no good reason at all, right?
Jeff
