Plenty of people asking what she is interested in, whether she has any hobbies, etc... I don't think you can really level the charge of sexism at anyone here. Not without coming off like an ass who only cares about her wishes and not his.
I can only speak for myself of course, but I asked about her hobbies and stuff because we don't know anything about her (and especially not her version of this story) - not because I assumed he was doing her wrong, just because there was no information on that topic, and I don't think you can talk about a relation if you only know 50%.
It seems strange to us, but a *lot* of people think an interest in music is childish and irresponsible. There is a big chance the OP's wife feels like this - which is both dismissive of his feelings, wishes, interests, and is pretty judgemental.
Yeah, and it's entirely possible his wife is one of them. Might even be correct that this kind of behavior is more common among women in general. But think about it, how do we see women's interest in fashion, or celebs, or whatever (only naming the cliché examples). Yes it seems stupid to "us", but it's exactly how some people see our interest in music. Not saying they're right, though.
Yes. Been with my wife 10 years, got married in 2012. We are very happy with each other. I give her space to persue her hobbies and interests and I don't get on her case about not spending time with me. She acts in a similar way, and even tells me to stop being an idiot when I tell her that I'm thinking of quitting.
And no. I would never describe my marriage as an investment. I married her because she means the world to me, and I care immensely about her well being. I love her and she loves me, and neither of us think of it as an investment.
Investment implies that you expect something to come from it rather than it having value in an ofitself. We pick each other up and support each other in what they want to do. It's called mutual respect, and the OP doesn't seem to be getting any.
Oh come on, then you do get it. And I obviously misunderstood you, sorry for that.
But it doesn't matter how you call it, you're still "investing". Try to not see it in a materialistic way: You spend time with her because it makes you happy (and vice versa). You probably sometimes spend time for her on things you wouldn't if it wasn't important to her. In return, you can expect a similar behavior if you're doing something she isn't as interested in. Looks like a form of investment to me (probably one of the "better" ones, too).
There's also emotional investments: You feel bad, and try to comfort her when she's having a rough time, and in return you can expect the same. If you deny that you expect the same (and even if you think you don't, you still do. that's why altruism exists), it's still an investment: It makes you feel better that she's feeling better. There's no sense in feeling bad about something/someone you don't care about, because you get no benefit. You do, in a way, benefit from feeling sorry for people who are close to you.
That's an investment or mutual respect, or love, or friendship, or whatever you want to call it. Of course it sounds unromantic and materialistic but it really isn't.
And sorry for hijacking this thread, I'll be quiet now
