Cheating/back stabbing girlfriends

JMarz

JMarz

New Metal Member
Oct 7, 2008
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Minnesota, US
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Alright. To all that have known me for a pretty decent amount of time (Ryan (Catharsis) mainly,) you already know what's going on and what my life has been all about for the past year.

To all that don't, listen if you want a good ol' read.

I just wanted to start a thread based on any experiences you guys have had with cheating girlfriends. Last fall around this time of the year, I met this spicy little redhead named Allison.. Time passes as we get to know each other, and we eventually fall in love. Now, at the time, I was in the midst of moving upstate about 23 miles away.. So, I knew (since I don't drive legally yet) there'd be no way in fuck we'd ever be able to see each other. Crap turns into shit and a month before the actual move, her dad dies.. She calls me at 7 in the morning waking me up screaming and crying, I naturally calm her down and ask her what's going on, and she tells me her dad died.. I immediately got dressed, grab the van keys, and cruised a couple miles down to Best Buy and picked her up.. We speeded on the freeway going about 105 back to her dad's house to stumble upon her dad's wife (step-mom) going absolutely crazy.. That was the day she moved in with me at my old house. With a little human mind manipulation and pursuasion, and a FUCKload of money, I get the okay to bring her with when me and my parents moved to the apartment. Now, I say it like that because at the time she was 17.. She's almost 19 now. So, time passes and we move. At this point I've been unemployed for the whole summer plus that time, and was recieving about 100$ a week in unemployment (FUCK THAT!) We spent the rest of the fall and winter and 3/4 of this summer together in that room, literally 24/7, with nothing to do and nowhere to go mainly because all of our friends lived a fuckload away. Now, during this time, she's been very jealous, passive-aggressive, and very manipulating when we fight (it was once a fucking day.) She always found a way, even when she's at fault, to turn an argument back on my ass in HALF a fucking second. Not only that, but she's lied to me so many fucking times about pretty important shit such as when I met her she told me she was 18.. Cops showed up at my house and took her away because her dad called her in as a runaway. Anyways, pretty much a whole year of breathing the same air as her and fucking her every day made me change the way I see the world. She's had a HUGE positive influence on me, and a HUGE negative influence at the same time.. Yet, me, being the loyal one, I still would do god damned anything for her. BUT.. to tie into the whole lying aspect of Allison, she's snuck off multiple times and partied with this coke-head fucking loser who wants to do her. I've forgiven her every time, and after every fucking time she messes up like that, I always forgive her. So, for the current past couple of days, to start at the beginning..

I was at work, and I got a really weird gut feeling that something was not right at home, so I took my break early and tried calling Allison for damn near 45 minutes straight. She finally gets around to texting me 'WHAT?!' and I called her and explained what was going on, and she told me I was a psychic and hung up. Supposedly, right when I tried called her the first time she was JUST meeting this guy that she met on fucking MySpace to drive around and smoke (weed) with him. This is the same guy that, about 2 weeks earlier, she started talking to and ended up giving him NOODZ and shit. Yeah, my stupid fucking ass forgave her for that, too. Anyway, when I got a hold of her again, I finally got it out of her that she cheated on me with said douchebag. Something fucking happened to me, because I felt something click in my heart and head. So, I'm at work, ringing customers up, looking like fucking lucifer for the remaining 8 hours I had to work.. And I get home, and shit hits the fucking fan. Multiple stab holes in the wall + broken coffee table + one broken knuckle = what happened up until the point where my drummer finally picked me up and we went to band practice. Afteron I spent the rest of my day off getting as absolutely fucked up as I could, and every 10 minutes it felt like I would have a surge of adrenaline spread through me.

I wasn't fucking happy. And I'm still not, even after the extremely rough/angry sex I bestowed upon that slut. But what gets me is the pure fact that for the entirety of this past year, I've been doing nothing but supporting her lazy jobless ass, feeding her, giving her shelter, making sure every day I call her beautiful and make her happy.. I haven't been able to have ANY time alone or money to spend on myself at fucking ALL. AND I hooked her up with a job across the street at the gas station (it's somethin!) AND I helped her get into a good college here.

After taking her in from an abusive home, and doing all that for her, I still love the backstabbing bitch. And I know she knows what she did and loves me.

I'm still in the process of deciding what the fuck to do with her, cause if I sent her ass back home, she'd go right back into that abusive life style that she's too sweet to deserve or handle.. But once a cheater always a cheater, and she's cheated on exes too, so.....

¯\(°_o)/¯ HOW DO GIRLFRIEND
 
Damn, I'd normally be the one to say : try to let go of her.

But I damn very well know it's hard to let go of a girl you're in love with.
 
Rock and roll. Broken goods.

Bottom line, chick cheats once, dump her. You looked after her interests and she failed to look after yours, she's not your responsibility, offload like a ton of bricks my friend. Don't worry about the consequences, there will be fireworks but get it over with and get someone more positive in your life.
 
fuck her. you have to look out for yourself. If she has an abusive lifestyle at home, thats her problem. You took her in, which in itself deserves a huge amount of respect. But she didnt respect you. She defied you and lied to you. get rid of her. end of story. this is a cycle that WILL keep happening. i dont want to end of seeing you on cheater with joey "the fuck" greco.
 
The episode that I'd be on would involve a fucking bloodbath and would never be aired. Thing is about Allison is that about 2 months ago she hit me in the head with her cellphone during an argument, and I took the fucking thing and whipped it into the swamp. I'd never hit a lady back at all, but I was so pissed I called the cops and had her ass taken away. During that time my parents kicked ME out for her causing a fucking scene, so I was living in a junkyard for a good half of a month. I got a hold of a computer and found a place to live 2 minutes down the freeway, and I've been living there with her ever since. I love it here, and hooked her up with a job at my company (but not the exact one I work at) that appens to be across the street.. If I sent her home, she wouldn't have me to testify for her in court, she wouldn't be able to get a job for being forced to abandon the one she has now, and I'd have to give the Loomis back because we're splitting the pay. Don't get me wrong, I'd never keep her to use her for my guitar, I am NOT that kind of fucking guy. I just don't want to send her into a world of shit, yet at the same time I want her to suffer the pain and torment of a thousand rapes in hell.
 
Cool story bro.

I liked how this isn't anything related to music production or Andy Sneap.

You should know better than trying to stay with the first girl (who by the way is way too young and immature, 17 years old??) who will go out with you. Don't overcomplicated your life and you will be happy.

What you think is love is not. Surely you could love anyone else but does she really love you the same way?

for the record, I have been cheated on and did not let myself get used and manipulated any further. Never again.
 
"Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies."

Cheating is worth than killing someone. At least they don't know about it when they're dead. Everyone is responsible for their actions and it's not love on HER part if she doesn't respect you. Tell the bitch to hit the road.
 
Reminds me of something I had gone through once. Honestly, you ask us for advice, but the truth is, you can't and won't make any changes until your ready to do so. Kind of like a girl who gets stuck in an abusive relationship, she won't let go until she feels ready. Different circumstances, the girl feels threatened by the guy killing her or killing himself if she leaves him, and she feels responsible, and in your case, I really feel like the truth is, you think your love can save her. Maybe you understand this about yourself and maybe you don't. You cannot feel guilty for her circumstances, but you have to be honest with yourself. Are you really certain that you can take the abuse to continue to be with her? Because she has so many emotional scars and probably a personality that will cause her to not change, at least not for you. Furthermore, the more abuse you take from her, the less you will feel about yourself.

If it helps at all, just remind yourself that you are not responsible for her actions or her consequences. Actually consequences are what help us to change, and because she gets no consequences for hurting you, she will continue to do that, simply because she knows she can get away with it. It's a messed up situation because the truth is you really do want to help her and be there for her, but in reality, she's not really ready for that, at least in this stage of her life. Her emotions are too far out of control for her to handle.

I think you know what the answer it, you just have to be ready to do it, when you feel that it's time... PM me if you want to talk more about it.
 
I was in a similar relationship a few years ago.
Things are not going to get better. It's really your choice if you're willing to go through hell to have great sex and and someone who cares about you or pretends to.
She's not going to change. Keeping her away from her parents isn't going to change things, sending her back isn't going to change things.
Pretty much the fact that you forgive her continually and continually again is only going to further influence her judgment into believing she can keep getting away with cheating. And she probably will.
Clearly her moving in with you was a premature move. She is needy and you feel like you can shelter her and keep her away from the bad things in life. It's a classic case really. Maybe you should read Codependant No More?
Btw my case ended pretty tragically. But something tells me your gf's drug problems aren't as bad as hers were.
 
Sorry for the situation, its not very fun at all. But let me give you a different side of the whole girl thing...

Im basically the guy who women with boyfriends cheat on. Almost 90% of my relationships have started with the girl cheating (or lying about having a boyfriend which has happened more..) on their man. The fact that ive been through this a million times makes me understand why they do what they do a little more than most. But guess what 100% of those relationships end up as?

The girl goes back to boyfriend...Why? Because that is the typical guy in your situation, loves them with everything, will do anything for them even after they have completely blown every bit of trust out of the window, even after cheating, domestic disputes, the works. As soon as the girl realizes that I know how this works, it goes downhill from there. The most IMPORTANT thing to a girl in a relationship is being ahead of the guy in every sort of way. Typical situations that REALLY piss them off (and I do intentionally ;P)

Girl: Fine...have fun with your friends (implying that you should have no life other than waiting to fetch a snack and drink for her)

Me: Alright ill talk to you later

Boyfriend: Well...ok ill tell them ill hang out another day...Ill be home in a minute...

Not an extremely awesome example but this type of thing applys to just about everything to do with being in a relationship like that. And what it all boils down to is that women want the upper hand in all relationships, and if they dont, they will most definitely go back to the guy who will let them do whatever the fuck they want knowing that all they have to do is put up with the boyfriend bitching them out and then forgiving them.

None of the advice anyone can give you can make your decision, but I sure hope this girl is worth what you are being put through, because I have yet to find any single girl on the planet that is worth going through this hell. From my standpoint, you have a few options.

-Cut ties, leave the bitch, and deal with missing the girl you love (BEST way...but it IS the hardest)
-Fuck some random bitch that she knows (this doesnt make you feel any better about the situation, but my god do women get PISSED and show their true colors when you actually do what they do :p)
-Tell her you want to still be friends (never works)
-Be convinced that she will change and never put you through this shit again (50/50 Chance of course)

Last little word of advice...One of the best ways of finding out if a girl REALLY loves you as much as they say, is when you become interested in another girl. Start meeting new women, having fun, going out, messing around, see if anyone else stands out on a short term basis. If not, then keep trying to figure something out with your current situation. But NO man I dont give a fuck who your girlfriend is or where you are should be put through this shit...EVER...because honestly having a girl do that to you is one of the worst feelings you could possibly imagine. Think about YOURSELF in this situation, and ONLY yourself. Obviously this bitch doesn't give a fuck if she is putting you through this (and I can really tell you are heartbroken which pisses me off even more...) so why should you give a shit?

Once again man, this is truly the great mysteries of mankind, and all of us are behind you with whatever the outcome is. And I'm really glad that you are comfortable enough to talk about private things like this with us, because thats one of the best things that someone can have...People to vent to.
 
Mars. Please consider what i have to say. You are still young, you have plenty of potentials. Stay with her and you will lose all the possibility of a better life. The same episode will repeat over and over again. Leave her. Sure itll hurt but you will be giving her a chance to fend for herself and you'll also give yourself a chance for a change. Sure it'll hurt but time heals, it always does. She cheated on you, so fuck that.
 
I had a similar story man..
After we/i got a housse, i found out she was cheating on me with some random dude in germany, a week after i talk with a "friend" of mine from who i suspected probably liked her and she would probably hook up with, and get it out of him she was allready cheating me with him for a good straight 2 months.

Still i couldn't really give her up, or let her go.

This last weekend i met that "friend" at a livesound gig all of a sudden, asked him outside for a talk about everything (i didn't punch him in the face immediatly... too flabbergasted), then when i had him outside i punched every living daylight out of him :)
Afterthat i went into the city i live in after i took a shower and put on some good clothes, got pissdrunk and met this AWESOME german exchange student.

And the moment you realise you can get nervous receiving a sms from ANOTHER girl is the moment you realise you CAN give her up :)

It takes some time though.. took me 2/3 very crappy months...
 
Not meaning it now, but if you get back with her, you would be known as a "STUPID CUNT!". Just like someone who has worked a dead end job for 30 years for fuck all money. "STUPID CUNT!". He shoulda changed jobs years ago as you should change cooks. Keep that Loomis buddy, no matter what! Dont get caught up with "Im not that kinda guy" bizzo, grab the Loomis, unleash a verbal barage upon her and break another knuckle on her face! Woman deserve to be hit in some situations, and cheating on you endlessly while you still do the righty for her is one of them. Fuck the coppers and their laws for that shit! Some slut can go shag someone else while ya hooked up or married, you find out, get angry, then you're the arsehole, takes you to court, grabs 70%+ of what you own and lets the other bloke move in and look after your kids! But its wrong to hit them? GO AND GET FUCKED!

OK, rant finished.
 
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