Thinking about quitting playing guitar

[jangoux]

So, here it is my story : I had a band for 8 years, and it broke up one year and a half ago. I was so upset about this, that I could not play guitar for the next 2 to 3 months that followed the broke up. Just after the broke up, my g-friend (now wife) discovered she was pregnant. So, when i wasnt upset anymore and wanted to play the guitar, i couldnt because she was getting stomach sick or any of those pregnancy-related things. When that was over, we discovered that she had a problem on the pregnancy and to avoid disturb her, i didnt play guitar until the baby was born.

After this, i started working my butt off to pay the bills, and we had our share of relationship problems - so, basically, i had no time/patience/spirit for playing.

So, these days i picked up my acoustic to play some stuff, and i got depressed on how things turned. I dont miss the guitar anymore, i dont feel like playing it for long, and i really suck. I found myself playing 'Come as You Are', because i couldnt find anything on the top of my head to play. I can't do anymore things i did easily and, guess what, i dont really care anymore. I kinda miss being on the stage, but i also remember every annoyance that comes along with a band and that upsets me. I dont think i have the time/patience/money to spend on a band anymore.

My last 'hope' of playing guitar was a band i was planning with my wife (she sings/plays guitar), but things are going somewhere i dont really care (a mix of Tool/Oceansize, but with some screams) and i have absolute zero voice on this thing. So, what's the fun ?

Nowadays, i really have much more fun trying to achieve a cool recorded guitar tone, building amps, recording, mixing - but that's my job, for god's sake. I can't compose anymore as only crap comes from my head to my fingers, and when i do something nice, i really dont get excited.

So, do you guys have anything to help me convince i shouldnt quit ? I am not really sad or complaining about anything. I am just trying to figure out if it is still worth it.

Ivan

 

[skuller]

if it does nothing for you, you don't need us telling you what to do.

but if you think about it, the world is too A.D.D. for musicians anyway. dearth demand for a never ending supply..

that is why if you don't love it, i wouldn't press too hard on trying to stick with it.

 

[NickL]

Schedule a lesson with me. That or I beat your ass with a truss rod for talking such nonsense.

You need to find something to play that inspires you, that's all. Get out one of your favorite songs and grab some sheet music. If it's no fun do a different one. You've got guitar depression is all, we all get it and you'll snap out of it if you want to.

 

[NickL]

if it does nothing for you, you don't need us telling you what to do.

but if you think about it, the world is too A.D.D. for musicians anyway. dearth demand for a never ending supply..

that is why if you don't love it, i wouldn't press too hard on trying to stick with it.

i think he does want to keep playing or he wouldn't have asked us. it's much easier to just quit, but sometimes you need someone giving you a boost to keep working.

 

[jangoux]

i think he does want to keep playing or he wouldn't have asked us. it's much easier to just quit, but sometimes you need someone giving you a boost to keep working.

Yeah, kinda, I really dont know. I hang out here, besides the fact that there are a lot of cool guys, because there's a lot of guitar talk and that still interests me. I see a lot of guys talking with excitement about composing, playing, etc, and i really miss when i felt that. But i just dont know if, after the direction my life took, i still have this excitement, if i still care enough. Life's changed too much from the time i only had a band to care. Now I have a baby girl to take care, a job that i have to work up to 10hs/day, bills to pay and a wife to please - but i am still just 26, i SHOULD have fun, i SHOULD have excitement in things...I mean, I am not sad or anything, i just want to listen, or read, something else than 'fuck it' or 'shut up', like my friends (or even my wife...) do.

 

[DominikJW]

Man I really don't see a reason why you should definitely quit with the guitar. I mean It's all about having fun isn't it? You've had fun playing for all those years why wouldn't you have some more in the future? If you feel like you don't want to play atm, accept it, don't force yourself. But I bet that the time will come when you'll feel that shivers in your hands meaning "I NEED TO GRAB AN AXE OR ILL SHIT I MY PANTS". It always comes back

 

[Radd]

Talking with your doctor about anti-depressants may be something to consider.
You may be thinking that its not that bad but it may spread into other areas of your life as well if it hasn't already. Who knows, it may just do the trick.

I've been on them for over a month and they haven't been doing anything hardly but that's because I'm an alien.

 

[SocialNumb]

jangoux how old are you?

 

[aberration]

I think I saw that he's 26.

It's ok to put it down for a while, man. I would recommend against selling off your gear or anything like that, though, because that's begging for seller's remorse. Go on through your life and chances are you'll pick it back up at some point, even if it's not as seriously as before. You don't have to be in a band to play, after all...

And don't think of it as another thing in your life that you have to do or excel at.

 

[Metaltastic]

Talking with your doctor about anti-depressants may be something to consider.
You may be thinking that its not that bad but it may spread into other areas of your life as well if it hasn't already. Who knows, it may just do the trick.

I've been on them for over a month and they haven't been doing anything hardly but that's because I'm an alien.

Yeah, I'll second that, I was on 'em for awhile when I had a really rough time transitioning to college life back in Freshman year, and they're incredibly subtle and in no way addicting or "cheating" or anything (they're not like drugs or alcohol, which make you feel "good" with all the subtlety of a sledgehammer; antidepressents are scalpel-like in their targeting of certain neurotransmitters in the brain).

As for the topic, honestly Ivan, all I can say is really try to make an effort just to pick up the guitar and noodle as much as possible, and assuming you haven't given up on guitar-oriented music also, make an effort to play along with a song your digging right now. If after all that you still don't feel any drive...keep trying I had a phase where I didn't play for like 3 months (when I started at a new high school and was super depressed cuz most of the people there were not used to an intellectual metalhead with an impeccable vocabulary), and it was tuning my Mom's acoustic down to C and rocking out to Arch Enemy's "Leader of the Rats" that brought me back with a drive to never stop playing for the rest of my life

 

[abyssofdreams]

Maybe the guitar just isn't the "right" instrument for you? Ever tried something else? I doubt it's the music itself. Maybe you just need to find a better way to express yourself in music and the guitar isn't the optimal choice yet. Take an instrument that is easier to go along with and start from there. I sometimes do just that when my creativity is stuck at times. I play drums, play the flute (not the skin one!), play piano and often have some melodies in my head that go along with it and everything flows together. Let the music guide you and do not attempt to guide the music. Just a thought.

 

[abyssofdreams]

And don't quit. Another little part in you will leave a void if you do so.

 

[skuller]

someone mentioned seller remorse. maybe that's the test.

sell the stuff, and if you don't have seller remorse, it was meant to be. if you do, you'll be fiending for a sweet guitfiddle in no time and you'll save and get one and then tada..

 

[Metaltastic]

play the flute (not the skin one!)

Hahahaaha, damn it damn it DAMN IT, that would've been perfect And I gotta disagree about selling your stuff to test the waters of seller's remorse, that's a helluva gamble, especially if you have some rare/precious gear!

 

[abyssofdreams]

Hahahaaha, damn it damn it DAMN IT, that would've been perfect And I gotta disagree about selling your stuff to test the waters of seller's remorse, that's a helluva gamble, especially if you have some rare/precious gear!

Hahaha, yeah I was thinking about writing it the other way round but I feared my statement might loose impact

 

[Sloan]

Definitely hold on to most of your gear, your gonna need it later when you get the urge to RIFF.

Personally, I've got kinda the opposite thing going on, music is the only thing that keeps me from offing myself everyday. I love it.

 

[James Murphy]

i got "lucky" and "made it" quite young... to be more specific, i got my first gig touring in a signed band when i was 19 and went all over Europe with them, and then got into recording my first album with another signed band just two years later at 21... i bring this up because i recently had cause to reflect back on my past and think about what would have happened, specifically to my playing, had i not gotten those breaks (i say "breaks", though i worked hard to prepare myself and put myself in the right situation to get them)... and i came to a very sound conclusion about the subject: i would not have quit playing, ever. I play music because i love music, first and foremost, not because of the dreams of "making it". in fact, i think i'd be a much better player by now had i not started working professionally at so young an age. i'd probably be teaching, and i'd most certainly be recording... my own music if nothing else. and i'd be doing it for me, and i'd be happy.

playing music is a release for your soul man, not a means to make it with a band. My advice, musically speaking, is this... don't cling to the past, it's gone. don't worry the future, worry makes one weary. just play for today... for the simple pleasure of it. challenge yourself to play new things, things you'd never have time to spend fucking with if you had a full time band. and use your extra time to develop new interests and to spend quality time with your daughter. those two things alone should energize you to play or write some new music, but don't sweat it if they don't for a while.

i've ran into so many guys who have quit trying to do anything professionally with a band, and they've sold all their gear and guitars and quit being musicians as well. Since they couldn't make it work professionally with a band they quit playing altogether. This blows my mind... i mean, why did they ever start in the first place if they weren't feeling the music from inside themselves so deeply that they had no other choice but to choose an instrument (or three) to express it on. To me, every guy i've met like this has seemed miserable.

here's the thing... dreams of making it big in the music biz are the fuel for an awesomely "misspent" youth... and sometimes with hard work, talent, and no small amount of luck, those dreams come true... but that youth is only ever truly misspent if you were faking it.

So ivan, were you faking it? or did you truly love music and enjoy playing purely for the sake of expression and musical fulfillment? If the former, pack it in mate, you'll just make yourself more and more miserable the longer you put it off. If the latter, live your life but keep some gear and guitars ( or better yet, sell them all and buy something new... a new guitar that inspires you) and play as often as the mood strikes you. Play for you, i mean... who knows what the next 5 years will bring? In the meantime, if you truly picked up an instrument in the first place for the right reasons, don't deprive yourself of that outlet. that's the most self-destructive path any true musician can ever take.

 

[RyanUsesThis]

I don't think I'll be able to top James' post, but my band (which was in large part my brain child) broke up over two years ago. I stopped playing guitar regularly since then because I was teaching myself how to record/mix music.


When we first broke up I was like "F this.. I don't feel like playing"... now all I want to do is play.

2 Years later I have no bands to record, and I've picked up my guitar again, and I'm cramming to record my band's material. It's GREAT!!


If you're not feeling it now... just wait, and it may come back to you.

 

[abyssofdreams]

James your dedication is really inspiring, thank you for taking the time to post this.

 

[-J-]

can't really add more than james, but my take is - if you're into it, you could pedal on two notes and be happy. sounds like you've got to wait out life struggles before you can get to that stage again. in the meantime, maybe check out the book zen guitar. goes beyond ability and technique to something higher.