Bad/Funny Pick-Up Lines

[Alasdhair]

"May I stir your drink?

...with my dick?"

Let me know how that one goes for you.

 

[ScandinavianMetal]

 

[Tallerthanatree]

Is that a mirror in your pants? cuz i can see myself in them.

A girl used this on me once.

Does this cloth smell like chloroform to you?

Nice. Ive heard it before, but still.

 

[FailingAcension]

Don't think this one's been said...

If I were an enzyme I would be DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes.

 

[Alasdhair]

Don't think this one's been said...

If I were an enzyme I would be DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes.

That might work at a science convention of some kind?

 

[Mythos Inibri]

Get your fucking ass over here and suck my cock!

 

[Tallerthanatree]

Subtle....

 

[Blind Guardian]

Get your fucking ass over here and suck my cock!

might work with a prostitue

"i hope you´re wearing a helmet because tonight your going through the wall"

 

[Vimana]

I am conducting a field test of how many woman have pierced nipples.

I'd marry your cat just to get in the family.

Pardon me miss, I seem to have lost my phone number, could I borrow yours?

Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.

 

[SionsBrother]

This thread kicks ass, but I can't think of any funny pick up lines.

 

[riffer_mania]

i have fucked many a MOMs...i am a motherfucker...or a MILF fucker...

 

[PrincessHades]

I've never liked subordinance, but I've finally found an ass worthy of kissing.

 

[PrincessHades]

Are you Yahweh? Because I sure want to kiss your ass!

 

[PrincessHades]

Do you have a yeast infection? Because you just made my dick rise!

 

[Pantera799]

Male to female

Do you.believe in equal opportunities

Mines a pint

 

[Blurry_Dreams]

your pants look good (slight pause) they'd look even better on my bedroom floor

 

[Harleyy]

do you work on a farm? because you really know how to raise a cock.

 

[PrincessHades]

You would be good at selling hotdogs because you really know how to make a weiner stand.

 

[Blurry_Dreams]

I have had a few guys go "nice ass" at me a few times. :-x

I am not sure how to respond to that, I sort of just say "um, thanks...?" and leave it at that.

it's a compliment
different men are attracted to different ass shapes
the guys who think your ass is ugly aren't going to mention your ass when they talk to you
if someone says "nice ass" you should accept it as a compliment and actually feel flattered

 

[Bloopy]

"Well hello there Liam… peanut butter or Nutella?"

(I was browsing pick-up lines out of boredom and that's the one that really made me laugh)

it's a compliment
different men are attracted to different ass shapes
the guys who think your ass is ugly aren't going to mention your ass when they talk to you
if someone says "nice ass" you should accept it as a compliment and actually feel flattered

Depends on context. Some use that sort of shit maliciously to degrade someone and indicate they're viewing them solely as a sex object. And then later they get elected as president, but that's another story.