Been jammin, did find cool

Also, wrote some lyrics. On our new album we're going to use the styles of all our favourite bands and write songs in their honor. So far we've got a bunch listed but these two are the ones I've been working on. For the track names, I used what each band reminds me of for the title. "(P)harm" is a song dedicated to Slipknot, and "Herd for Samael" is obviously Lamb of God. They don't remind me of anything so I just changed their name a bit for our song title.

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(P)harm

fast scream
ALL YOU WANNA DO IS FREE YOUR MIND!
short rest, then rap
ALL YOU WANNA DO IS GIVE A DAMN ABOUT THE WORLD BUT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND IT DOESN'T WANT YOU!

rap
Sick of this shit yet?
Wanna make my girl fucking WET?
You gotta make the choice,
You gotta live in disgrace,
And play with your toys,
And rape the little boys, <---- Here I decided to defile myself
LET'S MAKE SOME MOTHERFUCKIN NOISE!

scream
WHY does it seem like you don't give a damn about me?
Help me!
You're lost in a sea of conformity!
Leave your religion alone and come fight for me!
Want me!
MARRY ME!

speak powerfully
And now the tables have turned against you!
Primordial wastes have been served to feed me again!
AW, GODDAMN!
If you can feel this you're just part of the plan!

sing
Don't waste my time,
You won't learn nothin
ADMIT IT!
You just want a piece of a righteous bloodline
FORGET IT
You won't make the cut,
It's just that it's never enough!
It's insane just to walk it
I guess you'll just have to try it for yourself...

rap
And now you're back out here,
Out makin the cut!
You're covered in the beautiful shame and finally goin insane!
Won't ya stay for just a while?
Rooms are goin cheap!
$6.66
That's the deal, got it?
Band screams HELLYEAH!

rap
Walk tall
Walk proud now!
You're my son now!
They hated me and now they're out to get you!
Look at 'em run at us with their disgust
No matter what they say,
It's just a taunt that builds trust!

sing
You want me to take your hand and walk away?
If that be the case then you should know that I'm just gonna walk away from you...
So hold me close in your heart, and you'll never be lonely again,
'Cause I'd do anything for you,
I think that you should do the same for me for you...

whisper
Gone, baby, gone...

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Herd for Samael

Bury your soul!
Your time has only just begun!
And marry the bride of hell!
Just so sacrifice,
For the burial of the flesh!

Sanctify!
Your deepest desires!
Cherish all the sons of the mind!
Bring out the fire!
Sever the connection!
Ensure survival of the lesson!

Think "Now you've got something to die for" here
And now you will witness the legend unfolding!
Come to parade over the massacre!
Hellbound and ripped away from the throne,
With a deadly will upon his crown!

Back to earlier pattern
Millions of deceased,
Surrounding the gates,
Burning in the vengeance!
All the while, the gods were there descending!
Beating off to the dead!

Say no to drugs!
Collective mind will conquer and survive the storm!
Say no to peace!
Prepare for the flood!
Draw the blood of victory!

Back to the chorus
Beware of the masses that gather around you!
They do not know the slaughter ends with their heads!
Meat grinds on but the mind will soon be gone!
Ancient curse, NEVER AGAIN TO RETURN!

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I'm looking for content critique, as I'm really trying to capture the essence of these bands in these songs. Any input on the lyric content would be sweet.
 
Well it's obvious that he isn't going away, and he honestly thinks that we care enough to read his little lyrics here, so I figure just being fucking mean will at least give ME some more satisfaction. I could care less about the rest of you... hah
 
But I smell sympathy in your movements, a taste for playing god, the whole possibility for redemption, only for your desire to hate and feel good at the same time to be fulfilled and thus make the whole thing pointless but to counter you. It is, in fact, satan who draws you here.

Lying sack of shit.
 
New WIP for the concept album is for Nevermore, which I have entitled "Oliphant". What I have for the song will be posted later as a recording. It's a duet, and for the intro I wrote the vocal melody to be very close to "Chances Three,", which for me is one of Nevermore's best recordings.

@Jace_Mereel: You surely would be jamming.