Best use of contrasting things? (Growly to clean, quiet to loud, etc.)

a few postrock band do the quiet/loud thing better than any metal band imo....and classical music of course

Are we talking musical or sonic dynamics? Musically this is pretty much impossible to argue because everyone will just choose their favorite band. Sonically I may see your point, but that's because post-rock/post-punk bands tend to be tone snobs and nitpick more about recording techniques. Even the streamlined "grunge" bands of the 90's had great dynamics thanks to awesome recordings. Core comes to mind, frogstomp too...

loud/soft dynamics in metal seem to tend towards the obnoxiously overwrought (opeth) or are ruined by shitty mastering with no dynamic range (opeth)

Hahaha, wait wait a second... I blew out the 2 front speakers in the metal wagon from the first 3 chords of Still Life when I first got it. That albums is incredibly dynamic for a metal album, and honestly mixed pretty damn well.

Overwrought? Umm.. Opeth was a pretty good band with a unique sound, but like most rock bands that wander into more progressive realms, they've turned into a tribute band. I liked blackwater park a lot but the camel worship really started to grate on me. The new album is pretty much Camel...Procul Harum...Caravan...Gentle Giant... etc. Same thing happened to dream theater after Awake, Tool right around Aenima, and honestly the Mars Volta have always sounded a lot like ELP to me. I mean it's still all listenable but none of it has any of the same impact of UK's ST, the old crimson discs, Gentle Giant's Aquiring the Taste, Genesis' Foxtrot and so on.

Althought judging by the mention of post rock, you're probably not a huge fan of the dinosaur bands...

D.
 
Opeth gets my vote.

Also, Children of Bodom. How they, instrumentally, are a complete power metal band (at least for FTR and HCD) with keyboard solos ect; then they have a harsh vocalist, a contrast of extremeness (to some extent) and melodies ect.