This thread is about Celtic Frost.
Fuck Celtic Frost, they suck!
To Mega Therion: have had it for 2+ years, have listened to it more often than aesthetic value would deem necessary, painfully trying to probe the worth that too many metal fans find in spades.
Those 'golden apples of the sun' remain elusive to me. I feel like I am trying to write poetry about NASCAR when listening to this. Looking for profound philosophical musings in an American Pie movie. Hell, just a nipple-slip at halftime -- anything redeemable in this interminable sludge, the muddy dregs of a rising metal scene in the mid-80s.
Sure, it is influential. It inspired many of the death/doom/black metal bands that I listen to today. Wow. Wonderful. I'm supposed to applaud them on this, right? So I will. Thank you Celtic Frost. Thank Lucifer that so many bands took it upon themselves to vastly improve the atrocious shit on such albums as this (their defining moment, most say) into stuff that is so much better. It is like the hot chick whose mother weighs no less than 300 pounds and looks like one of those goblins out of the movie Labyrinth.
So where does that leave this album? Mandatory? Uh. . . no, I'll pass. The next time someone tells me that this is 'mandatory is any TRUE black metal fan's collection' gets a bootheel in their eye. A work of 'genius' that is 'true art'? If this is true art then Beethoven, Da Vinci and Shakespeare are laughing it away in the realm of the Immortals.
Frederich Nietzsche said that "Without music life would be a mistake."
Frederich Nietzsche never heard To Mega Therion.
Did I mention that the vocals suck? Or that the tuned-down guitars sounds like a crowded bathroom at Taco Bell? The lyrics: not so bad. Tom Warrior shouts "Hey!" a lot. Kris Kross said more profound catchphrases in the song "Jump!", but I will still give Tom credit. Shouting "Hey!" a lot. . . that's innovative, baby!
I was going to say something about the songwriting, but apparently there is none to speak of.
Don't get me wrong! The album isn't terrible; it's just shitty. Not bad enough to hate with a passion, like Manowar albums, but still a CD to be ignored in my collection. If anyone wants to buy, I'm selling!
I would rather listen to the Pretty Woman soundtrack than listen to this piece of rhinocerous droppings again. I'm serious.
It may be a classic; if so, I would much rather listen to Reign in Blood or Killing Is My Business. . . It may be innovative and inspirational; if so, then I utter one word: Bathory. Damn, now I'm being unfair by comparing the two! I hope Quorthon doesn't take it personally. I do feel kinda bad, kinda sorry for Celtic Frost. . . it's like comparing a PeeWee team to the New York Yankees. Or comparing PeeWee Herman to. . . well, anybody. Unfair.
In summary: I think I will go and play Super Nintendo. Maybe eat some lunch pretty soon. Go out later tonight, party. Read some Keats. Or just lay in my room, aimlessly staring at the ceiling. Might call some people.
Oh yeah, I won't be listening to Celtic Frost while doing any of this.
Fuck Celtic Frost, they suck!
To Mega Therion: have had it for 2+ years, have listened to it more often than aesthetic value would deem necessary, painfully trying to probe the worth that too many metal fans find in spades.
Those 'golden apples of the sun' remain elusive to me. I feel like I am trying to write poetry about NASCAR when listening to this. Looking for profound philosophical musings in an American Pie movie. Hell, just a nipple-slip at halftime -- anything redeemable in this interminable sludge, the muddy dregs of a rising metal scene in the mid-80s.
Sure, it is influential. It inspired many of the death/doom/black metal bands that I listen to today. Wow. Wonderful. I'm supposed to applaud them on this, right? So I will. Thank you Celtic Frost. Thank Lucifer that so many bands took it upon themselves to vastly improve the atrocious shit on such albums as this (their defining moment, most say) into stuff that is so much better. It is like the hot chick whose mother weighs no less than 300 pounds and looks like one of those goblins out of the movie Labyrinth.
So where does that leave this album? Mandatory? Uh. . . no, I'll pass. The next time someone tells me that this is 'mandatory is any TRUE black metal fan's collection' gets a bootheel in their eye. A work of 'genius' that is 'true art'? If this is true art then Beethoven, Da Vinci and Shakespeare are laughing it away in the realm of the Immortals.
Frederich Nietzsche said that "Without music life would be a mistake."
Frederich Nietzsche never heard To Mega Therion.
Did I mention that the vocals suck? Or that the tuned-down guitars sounds like a crowded bathroom at Taco Bell? The lyrics: not so bad. Tom Warrior shouts "Hey!" a lot. Kris Kross said more profound catchphrases in the song "Jump!", but I will still give Tom credit. Shouting "Hey!" a lot. . . that's innovative, baby!
I was going to say something about the songwriting, but apparently there is none to speak of.
Don't get me wrong! The album isn't terrible; it's just shitty. Not bad enough to hate with a passion, like Manowar albums, but still a CD to be ignored in my collection. If anyone wants to buy, I'm selling!
I would rather listen to the Pretty Woman soundtrack than listen to this piece of rhinocerous droppings again. I'm serious.
It may be a classic; if so, I would much rather listen to Reign in Blood or Killing Is My Business. . . It may be innovative and inspirational; if so, then I utter one word: Bathory. Damn, now I'm being unfair by comparing the two! I hope Quorthon doesn't take it personally. I do feel kinda bad, kinda sorry for Celtic Frost. . . it's like comparing a PeeWee team to the New York Yankees. Or comparing PeeWee Herman to. . . well, anybody. Unfair.
In summary: I think I will go and play Super Nintendo. Maybe eat some lunch pretty soon. Go out later tonight, party. Read some Keats. Or just lay in my room, aimlessly staring at the ceiling. Might call some people.
Oh yeah, I won't be listening to Celtic Frost while doing any of this.
