Cheesiest slogans ever!

[Malergion]

The power is YOURS!

and

By your powers combined...I AM CAPTAIN PLANET!

 

[Dead Winter]

Captain Planet was the cheesiest entity to ever befall mankind.

 

[Malergion]

Well, they *had* to go and make the "fifth" element *heart*

There's cheese for you right there.
<<<<<<<<3 hhhhheart!

 

[Captain Beard]

He's useless without the others At least each of the other rings did awesome shit by themselves. What could he do? Cure Conduct disorders?

If he lost his ring, would Captain Planet be an unethical asshole? Actually, I'd probably like the hippy hero more. "By your powers combined, GO FUCK YOURSELVES! I'm headed out for a beer and a blowjob."

 

[Malergion]

He had the power of mind control over animals, I think...but why not just call it "Empathy" or something? Heart just sounds gay.

 

[Dead Winter]

Only a station like TBS could concoct such a pansy superhero.

 

[Captain Beard]

I dunno, the BET channel could do worse I bet.

 

[Lunar Still]

PROTECT THE ENVIRONMENT, OR I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!

CAPTAIN PLANEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Malergion]

I think of the 15 or so episodes I ended up seeing, on one of them, there actually was an "evil" Captain Planet.

 

[Malergion]

Only a station like TBS could concoct such a pansy superhero.

Ted Turner's a pretty big environmentalist.

 

[Captain Beard]

Evil Cap liked pollution and waste. Stupid Doppelgangers. I wonder if he had a goatee.

 

[Dead Winter]

Just imagine what his marriage was like to Jane Fonda. Two people married for years who are so far left, if they don't watch out, they're gonna end up back on the right.

Scary.

In other news, my Xbox keeps freezing with Splinter Cell and I can't figure out why. It's an original Xbox, not the 360.

I just saw the new Splinter Cell: Conviction trailer. Holy fuck.

 

[Anvil]

Everyone knows Ted Turner is Captain Planet.

 

[Malergion]

As long as a fellow atheist commands the planet, I'm OK with his fruity views on some subjects.