conflicting emotions

luke

Messianic Subliminal Mind
May 2, 2001
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I GOT IT!

Yeah!
after waiting for what seemed an eternity I got my greasy paws on BWP! currently on the 3rd spin (I would have posted sooner, but was too enthralled and ecstatic) can`t say I`m disappointed yet. I am sure you all know the feeling I had as I walked home from the record store; heart in my throat, walking in front of traffic to get home a few precious seconds earlier and have my first listen to the new Opeth masterpiece.
At the time I couldn't help but feel slightly torn apart. I have been searching the net endlessly for a release date, and annoying the people at the record store since it was released in the west, and today in happenstance I came upon it, there on the shelf. So, naturally (or maybe not so naturally) I Jekyll and Hided. While nearly exploding in my pants in delight, I had to refrain from exploding at the shopkeeper for not informing me that it would be released...I might have been able to listen to this yesterday, bitch.
Now that I've been satiated, something reminds me of the first time I heard opeth, on late night metal radio in promotion of the release of MAYH. You all must be able to empathize with my feeling at that time as well. It only seems fitting that music as intricate and complex as Opeth's would trigger equally tumultuous emotions.
just wondering what listening to this stuff does to the rest of you, be it healthy or not.....
 
Congratulations on your new purchase!
I know exactly how you feel, I actually had to get BWP on ebay since I couldn't find it in Nashville. Then while I was waiting for it in the mail, Tower Records got it in and I'm standing there with it in my hands going FUUUUUUCCCCCKKKKKK!!
I had to get Still Life on ebay also since the distribution on it was/is fucked up.

I've had BWP for a couple of months now and I have listened to it almost everyday and it keeps getting better and better with every listen. Peel back the layers and sink into the universe of OPETH.

God I love this band.

Enjoy!
 
You all must be able to empathize with my feeling at that time as well. It only seems fitting that music as intricate and complex as Opeth's would trigger equally tumultuous emotions. Just wondering what listening to this stuff does to the rest of you, be it healthy or not. Luke


I've sort of had some major emotional outbursts related to the emotions that I feel from Opeth. And, go figure, it was right around the time they toured here. I, um...I had to calm down and realize that nothings changed except maybe my way of seeing, hearing and just the way I feel when I hear Opeth. I was very upset-->:cry:<-- that someone close to me didn't, um...they weren't as excited as I was about seeing the band live. I was nuts. Once I calmed down (about a week of this) I realized how messed up I was acting. It was a crazy mixed up emotional time for me - Opeth coming to town. But, when they come around next time, I'll be fine. (laughing at myself)

As far as albums go, shit. If you stop an Opeth track before it's over in my company ::::GASP:::: it's like someone just ripped the harmony out of my heart. Like the plug was just pulled. I have to catch my breath. It feels so wrong!

Then I get mad and want to right this horrible wrong. The anger. Grrr! Dirty looks! Mean stare at the evil one that turned off my Opeth. GRRR!! You evil EVIL being! How COULD you! You're sent here to TOURMENT ME!! I know all about you!! :p


~Lynn
 
I know exactly how that is, in the mornings I listen to Opeth and then I realize what time it is and I have to leave. It always pains me to leave because i'm usually right in the middle of an Opeth track and I absolutly hate turning it off before the song finishes.
 
I know the people you're talking about, Opet... what few people know is that they're actually part of a giant global conspiracy to attempt to usurp Opeth fans of their sanity in a last-ditch attempt to drive them back into the herd, which, as Opeth fans, they're so obviously apart from.
 
I have to buy all of my Opeth albums all over again, but at leat they are available at a cheaper price now. I bought Still Life for $35 when it first came out. Now I can get it for $12.99. The only bad thing is that I don't even have the extra money to spend to get my Opeth albums back. Eventually my musical library will be built up once again, I'm thinking of threating the guy that stole my albums with force and making him give them back. I still haven't got to listen to all of Blackwater Park, as he stole it before I had the chance to finish listening to it. I also have to get all of the Katatonia albums again, with the exception of Last Fair Deal Gone Down. I even had Jhva Elohim Meth on vinyl! Hopefully I can get up the courage to confront him and hopefully he hasn't sold my albums yet.
 
Hopefully I can get up the courage to confront him and hopefully he hasn't sold my albums yet.


[color=sky blue]When I need strength, and a fear comes out instead (and I feel like I'm almost sufficating), I end up finding "I find trust in hate" Oops! LOL I mean I find strength in hate. In anger. I use my anger at that very moment of confrontation. It gives me a head rush, but it works for me. If you don't feel courage, use the feeling you felt when you realize how RIPPED OFF YOU WERE. Anger.

Or maybe something else works better for you. :) Good luck.[/color]

Lynn
 
Indifference.

It works wonders in confrontations. I'll let you figure out the rest by yourself, I shouldn't be giving out my trade secrets.
 
lynn.... i know exactly what you mean....and i can definitely relate to the indifference action during confrontation....i have to listen to opeth before i go to bed; whether it be "to bid you farewell". "the tiwlight is my robe", "harvest", or any other song... opeth will always be playing before i shut my eyes for nocturnal rest...i just find so much in the music....it's actually amazing....tell me....has anyone ever been wrongly judged by someone else because they listen to opeth or any other type of music??? please respond
 
Jen, I reckon I could sympathize with you a little there; who else has gone to a job interview wearing a Gorefest shirt and, surprise surprise, didn't get the job?
But it's a two way street, it's kinda hard to make friends with a guy who can name every one of the Backdoor Boys.

Oh, well, next time I'm looking for a job maybe I'll wear my Benediction shirt. hehehe
 
I am always judged by the way I look. I look pretty much like a stereotypical black metal fan from the early 90s. Long black hair, black shirt (usually with a black metal band on it, mostly Burzum long sleeves), black jeans, and combat boots. I've even been asked to leave stores because I was scaring the other customers. When I go to local "music" shows, I always have stupid kids coming up and asking me what is on my shirt. One time I went to see my cousin's band play (he plays in a punk band, note: I detest punk, but I am supportive of my family members) and the rest of the bands that were playing the show were "christian punk" bands, so you can imagine the kind of annoying kids that were there. I went to the show wearing a Burzum "Aske" shirt (for those of you that don't know, the cover to Buzum's "Aske" album features a picture of the remains of the Fantoft stave church that Vikernes burnt down. "Aske" translates to "ashes.") Some stupid little girl (I'm guessing she was about 14 years old) comes up to me and asks me what is on my shirt and I reply simply with "A burnt down church." Obviously disgusted, the girl walks over to her friends and then they come over and preach to me.
 
God is dead. Other than the fact that it was Katatonia, the title made it absolutely impossible for me not to buy it.
Actually, it translates to "God god is dead". Jhva (pronounced Yae-Ho-Vah) is the way god is written in the bible, and is never pronounced (most of the times replaced by "Adonai", which means "My Lord"), Elohim is god, and Meth (pronounced met, as in the English word) is dead.
so it's "My lord god is dead"
 
Originally posted by JeN
..tell me....has anyone ever been wrongly judged by someone else because they listen to opeth or any other type of music??? please respond

Well.. Not Opeth directly, but liking exreme metal and especially black metal sometimes put you in a exposed position. People thinking that you're a satanist or devil worshiper or something. *sigh* Maybe I'm a cliché, but I always (99%) wear black clothes, often band shirts, and when I'm really in a good mood maybe some spikes or something.... *hehe*
I actually started with the black clothes before I got into metal... it started when I was younger and had something to do with my affection for anarchistic ideals... (I wrote a short story infuensed partly by that a couple of years ago in school (http://www.midgard.liu.se/~b00andek/poems/flickan.html). It's called 'The Girl and the Condemned Society'. Read if you want to know more (but it's written in swedish...))

...but I don't know, maybe my outlook serves a purpose. Now people who judge me by the outside won't try to get to know me, and I don't have to waste my time on them. Instead I can concentrate on people who see to who I really am. The truth is that most of my friends are not into metal at all and a lot of them would qualify as "normal" in the eyes of the people of this board. Actually I have easier finding people I like outside the metal world, which in my eyes hosts a large number of idiots... (there are of course exceptions.. like this board)... as do all groups of people... wherever you are in the world...
 
...but I don't know, maybe my outlook serves a purpose. Now people who judge me by the outside won't try to get to know me, and I don't have to waste my time on them. Instead I can concentrate on people who see to who I really am.


[color=sky blue] This is a good point. I've been called a freak. I look pretty "normal" and the look on peoples faces when I tell them I like a genre called "Death Metal" or they hear the music itself. You'd think...well, they think like Nevyn said, they think I'm a freaking satanists or some shit. Whatever...right? Fine, you see me that way and you don't approve of at all, then just walk away. I don't think I'd want to try and explain it them.

I guess I don't have to waste time trying to explain why I choose it.[/color]
 
Interesting thread this has turned into... so I'll go now.

I think I look about as normal and unassuming as I can get. It's not that I try to appear a certain way, I am just myself and I'm happy with that, I don't feel the need to stand out or to blend in. As Opet mentioned, people are generally horrified when they hear I like death metal or when they hear the music itself.

Yesterday evening I arrived home from work, I slightly elevated my consciousness and starting blasting mayh on my stereo. I live in a highrise and you can hear what people are doing in their apartments from the hall. Shortly after my gf arrived home and was laughing. She explained that she was on the elevator with some uptight old lady and when the elevator stopped on our floor and the door opened they could hear Mikael's voice screaming loud and proud. My gf said that the old lady was taken aback with a horrified/scared expression on her face and she looked into the hall from inside the elevator with a fearful and disgusted look on her face. As my gf got off the elevator she looked back at the old lady, acknowledging her distaste with a smirk while she thought (and expressed with her sly smirking) "That's where I'm going, muwhahahaha!" hehe.

I find it ridiculous how some people equate metal with being an idiot who murders kitty's for fun, they would never think this way about someone who reads horror novels or collects horror movies or something. It's so stupid.

If that old lady in the elevator were to meet me she would think I was a fine young man worthy of her daughter or whatever, but one scream from Mikael and suddenly she thinks I'm out beheading ducks with my teeth and sodomizing their bloody corpses.

Stereotypes, though based on accurate interpretations, are often short-sighted and misleading. I love everything and everybody and I won't hurt an insect if I can avoid it.

If that old lady got hurt or something then I'd probably be the first to rush over and help her out, dispite her unjustified hatred of someone she doens't know anything about based solely on something as silly as musical tastes. I'm using the old lady as an analogy for the hateful, fearful, and uptight members of our society. I won't compromise my values by returning their hatred and mistrust. The social division and bullshit has to stop somewhere, why not in me? That's why I always greet dirty looks with a warm smiles, if I didn't like someone simply because they didn't like me then that makes me as lame and unliberated as them. People are stupid/afraid. We have to accept them the way they are or go through being miserable about it, and life's too damn short to let others bring you down. Hating may be fun and give us a sense of purpose, but it's not as great as simply letting go and accepting reality as it is without bias. If we want to be accepted and respected for who we are then we must do the same for others, no matter how whacky they may seem.

getting freakier,

Satori
 
...thinks I'm out beheading ducks with my teeth and sodomizing their bloody corpses.
Heh. I just appreciate the dark wit.

Here's a story for you from the other side of the proverbial coin.

When I was in grade 9 (this was... 5 years ago, I believe) I was basically still very much a little boy. I was very normal and was still stupidly trying to do this whole "fitting in" thing, which I would not abandon and then later shun for at least a couple more years of maturing. Anyways, like I said, I was very small and normal and I met this guy named Jordan who was over six feet tall, big, and intimidating-looking with his long dark hair, a chain, a black trenchcoat and an assortment of evil-looking black heavy metal t-shirts (all of which now seem kinda commercial and tame, but that's besides the point). He was the guy who walked down the hallway and people took one look and swiftly removed themselves from his charted course.

HOWEVER... he was also the one individual I knew who gained immediate respect from all people in that school. The "lesser-cool" kids liked him, the "cool smoke-pit people" liked him, he got along well with teachers... just about everybody. And the reason was really simple. He was just a really nice guy. He listened to people well and always offered to help out any way he could. His intimidating image was just that... an image. I mean, he was the person he projected, he enjoyed finding beauty in darkness and listening to metal, with the exception that he was taken to be the toughest guy around... but never got into a fight. Never hurt a fly. He's still one of my best friends today.

It happens. If you conduct yourself the way Satori outlines, be yourself and accept and respect others, the stereotypes CAN be defied. It doesn't always happen, and that's too bad. But it's possible.