- Apr 20, 2001
- 626
- 1
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- 42
I cant feel anything... I mean i feel nothing absolutely nothing it's like faaaallliing and falling and fallin... Just falling...
Nohing makes sense. Even the things I liked so much to do.
I cant pain I cant be happy. I feel me "dead" again...
I went to play bowling but ended up roaming at streets... Nothing made sence... Even if sb put a gun in my head or even the fact that I was in front line yesterday and I saw the GODS of Metal Face to face! Just meant nothing... My fachination about music seemed far away... It was like I watch a movie on TV. My life as a movie.
Glen Typton looked at me and smiled when I waved at him! Other time I would be at heavens!
Gosh! I'm outta of the things completely. I'm wondering what could wake me up.
Nobody loves me. And so? People I loved once either dont care or are vanised or are duying by an unhealed illness far away form me. What if I loved em? I dont do now... I cant continue suffering because they suffer...
I dont care and so? Do I have any reason for doing that? Was anyone here when I really needed em? Nah!
Only one person had realised my way of thinking. And that person left. I hope he's still alive and I would like to tell him how much I loved him (but never was "in love" though). I was just feeling peace listening at his voice. And he used to say wise things. He got in my mind. We were just made from the same thing but as soon as he realised he felt for me has gone...
About the others? I cant remeber anyone that really cared. Adding that they became mean to me... Sb who's mean is an enemy and not a friend.
I cant say more now... I cant make words all my thoughts.....
Nohing makes sense. Even the things I liked so much to do.
I cant pain I cant be happy. I feel me "dead" again...
I went to play bowling but ended up roaming at streets... Nothing made sence... Even if sb put a gun in my head or even the fact that I was in front line yesterday and I saw the GODS of Metal Face to face! Just meant nothing... My fachination about music seemed far away... It was like I watch a movie on TV. My life as a movie.
Glen Typton looked at me and smiled when I waved at him! Other time I would be at heavens!
Gosh! I'm outta of the things completely. I'm wondering what could wake me up.
Nobody loves me. And so? People I loved once either dont care or are vanised or are duying by an unhealed illness far away form me. What if I loved em? I dont do now... I cant continue suffering because they suffer...
I dont care and so? Do I have any reason for doing that? Was anyone here when I really needed em? Nah!
Only one person had realised my way of thinking. And that person left. I hope he's still alive and I would like to tell him how much I loved him (but never was "in love" though). I was just feeling peace listening at his voice. And he used to say wise things. He got in my mind. We were just made from the same thing but as soon as he realised he felt for me has gone...
About the others? I cant remeber anyone that really cared. Adding that they became mean to me... Sb who's mean is an enemy and not a friend.
I cant say more now... I cant make words all my thoughts.....