First practice with drummer after....

[midget donkeys]

I just had the first practice with my drummer since he took two weeks off. He had a good reason. Two weeks ago on Saturday he came home and found his old ladies body in the back yard. She shot herself in the head with one of his guns.

Tonight was the first time I saw him since it happened. What the hell are you supposed to say in such a situation? Thing is she seamed totally fine the couple times I meet her. My bass player and his wife were over drinking with them the night before and said ever thing was cool.

I don't have any real point here, just rambling on.

 

[Jackal_Strain]

Thats... fucked up man.
Just be there for him and don't try to force the conversation. When and if he's ready, he'll talk about it, but let him know that you are willing to listen.

 

[SocialNumb]

Dam. IDK what I would do/say.

 

[Notuern]

Flying Spaghettimonster thats twisted man! D;
I really dont know what to say.. thats just absolutely terrible!

 

[J the TyranT]

told you she was hardcore?

Thats some heavy shit right there, man.

 

[iamandy]

fuck...man, thats some grim shit!

i'd love.. just for one day, be able to hear peoples thoughts, and hear what they're really thinking.. would be really interesting, i think.

 

[Executioner213]

I have a musician buddy of mine who recently had the opportunity to watch his girlfriend shoot herself. I still feel bad for him...I just try not to bug him about it. If you start with the "are you ok, is there anything I can do for you, I feel so bad for you, etc" stuff, you will just drive it home for him. It's something you have to let that person come to you with when they are ready. Maybe just a quick "you doin alright? If you need to vent, I'm here for ya" and leave it at that...let him know he has the option to open up to someone.

 

[plague_rider]

its one of those situations where the first thing you ask is "are you ok??" when you know thats the stupidest question to ask

 

[ParsonsMatt]

I have a musician buddy of mine who recently had the opportunity to watch his girlfriend shoot herself. I still feel bad for him...I just try not to bug him about it. If you start with the "are you ok, is there anything I can do for you, I feel so bad for you, etc" stuff, you will just drive it home for him. It's something you have to let that person come to you with when they are ready. Maybe just a quick "you doin alright? If you need to vent, I'm here for ya" and leave it at that...let him know he has the option to open up to someone.

This is the best advice.

 

[LeSedna]

+1. Just a little word so that he feels he can talk when he wants. Just don't force things. You can have little kind attentions to him but not too much, things must be quite natural and soft.

Must be horrible, just horrible..

 

[plague_rider]

+1 definitely

whenever anyone i know has some shit going on (nothing on the scale of this though) i've always said, if they need anyone to talk at anytime, they have like 3 or 4 ways to contact me straight away, it always helps if they can just talk about it