friends

[moonchild]

well i just realised that i've lost contact with all my friends from school, it really depressed me considering i only left in june, now having been at university for 3 months i find myself wishing that they were still there. At school i had a group of about 7 close friends, its easy to get complacent and underestimate the friendship you have when you see the same people almost everyday for years, i didnt really realise how lucky i was, but after school broke up and they all went off to different universities all over the UK, and i ended up going to a local university i feel as if ive been left behind, alone. I guess they've all been busy settling in and making new friends, and i never really expected to remain so close, but no phonecalls, emails, nothing, and i havent put in any effort either, but i sat down today and started to think about it and thought it was such a shame that so many years of friendship could be forgotten within such a short time, it really depressed me. I've met loads of new people at uni but none of them i feel that i connect with, none that i could ever feel so close to, with my friends at school i felt that i could trust anything with them, and i knew that they would always stick up for me, anyway i just thought that i'd depress you all and get you thinking about people that you miss...

 

[Blackspirit]

Funny you should mention this right now because I
talked to my best friend for seven years on the phone
earlier today... We lost contact when the school was
over and we went our own ways....
We only message eachother every now and again on
the mobile and sometimes we talk on the phone...

I only had three really close friends at school, cause I
pretty much hated everyone, and now I miss them all,
even though I have made new friends. Luckily I have
SOME contact with my older friends, and I advise you to
maybe take the first step... Take a phonecall or write a
little email... I'm pretty sure your friends are thinking the
same way as you are...

 

[justus x]

Here's my little positive spin, consider yourself lucky that you have, or have had, friends. It's not a thing everyone gets to truly experience.

 

[transfixed]

i guess i'm pretty lucky to have kept contact with my friends, even though we've all gone seperate ways.
i talk to them often on the net, play games with them, stuff like that... basically what we used to do back in high school

blackspirit has the right idea, just send them a message or something, and see what's up.

 

[terrymx]

uhh....what's friend?

 

[veil the sky]

It really hit me a short while after I left school what a social environment it was, I understand exactly what moonchild is getting at. I remember looking forward so much to leaving school and not having to defer to the authority there, but I never considered that I would miss spending all day with my mates which is all I can remember of it now. My only real mates from school were my band so I have never lost touch with them, but it really does hit you that you actually have to make the effort to get together. The uni I'm at has simply the most boring bunch of people ever and I've given up getting to know thm because they bore the piss out of me.

I wonder if we're at the same uni Moonchild??!!

 

[my dying groom]

its easy to get complacent and underestimate the friendship you have when you see the same people almost everyday for years

Yeah, since I've left school I lost contact to four friends, and I'm still counting. I've had discussions with some people about it and got disillusioned answers like "friends? they come and go."
No way. One could say this point of view helps to avoid disappointment, but I'd never second that, such an attitude degrades every current dear friend- or relationship into a replaceable and redundant farce.
However, that was a (or the last) lesson to me: take nothing for granted.

no phonecalls, emails, nothing, and i havent put in any effort either

Right, this is the way it goes downhill. I often wonder why it has to be me who breaks the ice (once again). But, as Blackspirit stated, both sides surely think the same way, so mostly nothing happens. Et voilà! Solitude.
One easily drowns in doubts when stuff like this happens, and it always makes me sick when I'm looking at old photos, but my crappy life goes on and who knows, I might even stumble over a new friend tomorrow.
Oh, I'm ranting...

 

[Misanthrope]

I lost contact with all my high school friends 3 years ago...and we live all in the same city no one went away ( there is 2 prestigious and 1 Public but prestigious universities in my town ). I guess i realize now that i had no real friends, or the ones i had and kept contact with backstabbed me. Sad

 

[Surge]

A majority of people feel that way their first semester of college. Things will get better man, I guarantee that. You will become closer to the people you meet in college eventually, give it time. And if you really miss your old friends, send an e-mail, they might feel the same way you do, who knows?
take care
Adam

 

[Opth_001]

yeah I have to call all of my friend other wise they won't call me. And it's not cause they don't like me. It just cause they don't like talking on the phone alot, sometimes it hard to keep in touch with your friend but most of the time it's worth it

 

[Misanthrope]

Sometimes it does not get better. Sometimes it get worst. Sometimes you go from being happy about living to wonder if is really worth it after loosing everything you liked about your life. Sometimes you cannot get it out of your mind. Sometimes you find yourself sitting alone after a year of collegue with absolutely no friends and no one to talk about or even cry with. Sometimes you never adapt and you fail collegue just because you do not know anyone and it makes you feel so alone nothing is worth it. Sometimes you do meet friends and through a process of them betraying you or letting you down you cut all your collegue "friends" to maybe 2. Sometimes collegue is a living hell. Do not listen to positive people they do not understand you gotta get used to the fact that is almost impossible to find a true friend in life

 

[Blackspirit]

Originally posted by Misanthrope
Sometimes it does not get better. Sometimes it get worst. Sometimes you go from being happy about living to wonder if is really worth it after loosing everything you liked about your life. Sometimes you cannot get it out of your mind. Sometimes you find yourself sitting alone after a year of collegue with absolutely no friends and no one to talk about or even cry with. Sometimes you never adapt and you fail collegue just because you do not know anyone and it makes you feel so alone nothing is worth it. Sometimes you do meet friends and through a process of them betraying you or letting you down you cut all your collegue "friends" to maybe 2. Sometimes collegue is a living hell. Do not listen to positive people they do not understand you gotta get used to the fact that is almost impossible to find a true friend in life

OK, that was quite depressive, but also true....
But there's always a way out...always something
you can do about it... The thing is just to find out
WHAT to do....How to cope....

 

[Misanthrope]

Well i let that become a minor factor when i decided to quit collegue. I also became more misanthropic and even nihilistic about life and quite an antisocial. The only things i was left with is my beloved Maria and my band wich i truly apreciate indeed but it just feels like this was just an incredible strike of luck that will not ever be repeated. Maybe i am just a different person maybe it is my personality that shuns people, but i think that by no means i am the only antisocial nihilistic hateful person in the world. That is why i advise to accept it and expect it and not being surprised if or when it happens.

 

[transfixed]

Originally posted by Misanthrope
... that is almost impossible to find a true friend in life

this is true
i wouldn't consider any of my friends true friends. Just people I hung out with or whatever. heh, the only reason i do keep contact with my friends over AIM, e-mail, etc. is because even when they were around I still spoke to them over the net more often than I actually saw them.. so it's not like much changed
but anyway, if we were to lose contact, not much would be lost i suppose...

 

[blakmetalemp]

i have to agree with "justus x", you may lose contact with your friends over time, thats just life but it doesnt mean youve lost a friend you have just misplaced them somewhere along the line. if it really depresses you, you might want to think about getting a monkey!

 

[Sadistik]

My best friend (since 1988!) and I have remained friends even after I moved from New Jersey to Ca....the people in high school I never became friends with at all, though at college I found a group of about 5 people who I'd consider close friends

 

[MacMoney]

I've lost some "friends" along the way but all the true friends I've had are still with me. Well, we still live in the same town so it's not that weird that we keep in touch.

But it's time to go to college next year, well the year after that since we have to go to the army. So I'll get back to the situation then

Still though... Going to finish high school in three months or so. Going to miss my high school buddies.

 

[astarte]

i lose friends all the time... actually i don't think i've ever had any 'cause i've always been avoidant. most people say i have a complex personality so i guess only i understand myself...

as much as i hate to admit it i know i'll end my days by myself because i don't like people or i haven't found somebody whose presence doesn't bother me...
all the people i've known reject a part of me, there's nobody who won't mock something i say, do, think, believe in, etc..

i had some relatively(sp?) close friends but they backstabbed me (just like everybody else) and now that school is over i know i won't see them again...

now i have to go to college to be surrounded by people i don't know

 

[mindflesh]

Consider yourself lucky, I can't claim that I have really "close" friends. There are of course people I like and I enjoy spending time with, but I do not share many interests with most of them...

 

[Duvall]

My friends are the most important thing to me. I have one "best friend" back home, who I haven't seen in about 6 months.

We still talk on the phone now and then, occasionally email or ICQ each other.. but you know what? I bet the moment I'm back home, we'll be bitching like we always did. It'll be great!

I really didn't want to make new friends when I moved here, I didn't want to "replace" the old ones. The friends I've made here are great, but I still can't get over my old group. They were petty, argumentative, irritable geeks.. but I love 'em all and would do anything for them.

So hold on to what you have.. The people who knew you when you were a loser are your REAL friends.



But then again.. soy es perdador.